I am 8 weeks out. My husband still eat whatever he wants around me. So far nothing bothers me. He can eat a big plate full of food in the time it takes me to eat just a small amount of food.

Hi!  First of all, in the past (and sometimes in teh present), I have struggled with food addiction. So I want to start of by telling you, I understand how hard it is. I really really do.

Are you normally the "Family chef"?  If so, your hubby is probably just struggling with "what to eat" when he and your son arent really "kitchen proficient".  I am the family chef...but I am working on getting Groomy cooking with me more often so he will be enabled to eat healthier when I am not around and left overs are a hodge-podge of weird things.

My MIL and FIL and husband took care of me after RNY. I recognized that they need to eat normally and i had good food for them (i.e. steaks, fish, vegetables) which they ate and cooked. I also encouraged them to GO OUT TO RESTAURANTS WITHOUT ME and enjoy themselves.

If they cooked and ate at home, I left the room. I explained to them it isnt what they were doing, it is that the smells smelled GOOD and I cant eat that right now...so I will catch after dinner! Enjoy! And i would go for a walk, hang out on the balconey (I was from MN so viriginia winter doesnt bug me), or in my bedroom painting my nails...

I guess you need to be away from them when they eat so you arent "triggered"

I'm 12 years out. I will give my 2 cents. Take it or leave it. 

This was your choice. Not theirs. You cant expect them to deprive themselves. Especially with their full size tummys. After all, we're you able to go without prior to surgery? I say be thankful that you are being exposed now. The food is not going to go away ever. You have taken yourself the tough love option for weight loss. This is the time where it is easiest to go without food physically. Everything you are experiencing now is mental. The mental is truly the reason most of us were fat in the first place. If you don't take THIS time to acclimate and change, you can, and will fail. This is not the easy way. I hated it when people said that. It's hard. Physically AND mentally. This is why good docs require counseling first. Probably the reason divorce is so high post op too. Dont resent. After a few years, food became a necessity, not a want. If you use your tools a better life awaits on the horizon. Good luck on your journey.

Thank you everyone for your responses, both the sympathetic and tough love.  I needed both.  

I'm still trying to figure everything out, but I think some of my problem is I'm PMSing and have bipolar disorder, both of which make my thinking a fun roller coaster ride.   

I'm on to full liquids now so it might get a little better I hope.  I guess God is using this to yet again try to teach me patience.  Maybe I should try to listen this time, ya think?  😊

Heather

The first few weeks were hard for me, too.  My husband would try to "hide away" his food, but I could smell it.  I had to have a whole conversation with myself about how watching him eat was like watching him read a newspaper.  While the smells made me nauseous, I eventually convinced myself that I didn't care.  Here's the comedy - he ate so much crap those first few months he's now gained a bit of the weight I've lost!  He's totally focused on losing weight, and was *****ing this morning about how hard it is for him -- "I don't understand how much he's craving sugar & fat"!  Have faith it will come full circle...

I have an interesting perspective on this.  My wife has not been completely supportive.  Some of it is just ignorance on her part.  Some of it is "its not her problem".  When I came home from the hospital she would eat in front of me.  And I mean anything and everything.  She has a massive sweet tooth and has a large bowl of ice cream every night.  That never bothered me pre-op but now I have a little sweet tooth so sometimes it bothers me.  I have asked her to be a little more sensitive, and she tries sometimes but for the most part....not my problem.  My wife is a recovering alcoholic.  To support this, we have no alcohol in the house, I don't ever drink with her around.  Not when we go out to dinner, never.  I even go to AA with her once a week to get a better understanding of the disease.  She goes 6 days a week.  Many of our friends have the attitude that its her problem.  My opinion is that when possible, you should support your partner.  But when it comes right down to it, it was our choice and we are in control of it.  I can't prevent her from drinking, but I can create a environment that is conducive to not drinking.  It would be nice to get the same from her.

As you can see by my ticker, I have been successful.  If you are disciplined and want this, you can overcome this.  Good luck!

I can understand how you feel but I also don't understand how the sight of all that food tempts you. I couldn't look at regular food for several weeks after VSG. Even now the things that I could eat endlessly 4 years ago don't tempt me. 

You can't expect your entire family to change how they eat because you cannot have it. 

The dietary changes become the norm and in fact have been adopted by my husband as well. Our food bills have dropped drastically. 

Hang in there. Good luck.

I can't explain it, but the food still looks good.  It just does.  I'm on full liquids now and it's a lot easier because I can try more and I have the energy to try different recipes.  Last night I had pepper jack tomato soup from a local restaurant and it was GOOD!  Food still interests me, but I'm not as obsessed with it.  Everything is getting better.  I return to work tonight.