Really?! Ice cream and cake and Chipotle

healthy2be
on 5/5/15 10:54 am
RNY on 05/04/15

So lap RNY last Friday went well.  I don't remember a lot of my time in the hospital, but that's okay.  Thank you dilaudid!  Right now I'm mostly just really sore, but have occasional pain stabs as I discover my stretching/reaching limits.  My husband and family have all been verbally supportive, but their actions are not so.  

For example, for every meal since I got home on Saturday night, my husband has gotten fast food and brought it home to eat in front of me.  I saw a commercial earlier for Chipotle and said, "OMG that looks so good."  My husband's response was "It does.  I think I'll go there for dinner."  Then he does, but not before swinging by McDonalds to pick up a hot fudge sundae.  He then eats all that food next to me while I was sipping my chicken broth.  Right now, my mom who is spending the night with me while hubby's at work brought over a huge (HUGE) piece of cake "as a reward for being away from the dog all night."  The smell of that cake is killing me!!!!!  I know I made this decision and it is for my own health and I WILL get to eat more than just chicken broth soon, but OMFG ARE YOU PEOPLE SERIOUS????  Cake and ice cream and Chipotle!!!!!

I talked to my family before the surgery and I thought they understood, but I guess not.  Sorry, really needed to rant.

cherg24
on 5/5/15 11:57 am - Ontario, Canada

I get your point.   My husband and son are supportive in theory but they still do whatever they want in front of me.  It might  bother me but I am turned off a lot right now.  My surgery was two weeks ago.  I gotta be honest..food is like the last thing on my wish list mind right now. Ok wrong choice of words.    I think about it constantly and deal with it because I have to but I don't want any of it.  Everything tastes so sweet and I'm still in full fluid diet mode.   I just want something bland!!!

    
kathkeb
on 5/5/15 12:18 pm

I put a little juice from the picante sauce jar in my chicken soup when I was so sick of the sweet stuff.

You can spice things up a bit that way.

Kath

  
kathkeb
on 5/5/15 12:15 pm, edited 5/5/15 12:15 pm

I am sorry you have to deal with this.

It is just me and my husband and honestly, for weeks after my surgery, he ate away from me.

If he brought food home, he ate it out of my sight and smell range, just to be kind.

He buys chips and cookies and things I don't eat, but he keeps them on a low shelf, in brown paper that I never get in to.

He has lived without ice cream in the house for 6 years .... He eats it away from home occasionally, but has offered to not have it around because he knows it is hard for me.

Honestly, if I were you, I would try to go for a walk or at least leave the room .... And let them know how hard this is for you.

Yes, it was your decision to have surgery, but it is their choice to be kindness.

Kath

  
Grim_Traveller
on 5/5/15 12:30 pm
RNY on 08/21/12

I'm sorry this bothers you. But you will have to figure out how to be around people eating without it driving you crazy. Your family, coworkers, friends, all will be eating things that will tempt you. Before long, you might be IN a Chipotle, and you have to figure out how to do that and still make healthy choices. 

We chose to have surgery, and we can't expect everyone else to change their lives to accomodate us.

6'3" tall, male.

Highest weight was 475. RNY on 08/21/12. Current weight: 198.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

poplargreys
on 5/5/15 1:28 pm
VSG on 03/31/15

THIS.

I went out to dinner with my mother and husband the day after I got out of the hospital, and while they ate a big, beautiful Chinese food dinner I sipped plain wonton broth. I let it get to me a little, but like Grim said, WE chose surgery, so WE get to deal with situations like this. My husband has stopped to get fast food and eats it at home with me in the same room, and I can genuinely say that it doesn't bother me. I'm totally happy with my meals and have no desire to go back to how I ate before surgery. Eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted is how I ended up weighing 315lbs. 

christinerocks
on 5/6/15 7:12 am - AZ
RNY on 04/06/15

Agreed.  My husband and I had several good talks right before surgery and I wanted him and my stepkids to be unaffected by my choice.  They are all healthy, happy, and thin - no reason for them to change to accommodate my choice.  I have to learn to deal with it.  That said, the first time my husband made pizza - yes, he makes fantastic pizza - about 2 weeks after surgery, I had to leave the room for a few minutes. I gathered myself and returned to the table. It wasn't easy but I know that, eventually, I can have something similar - either cauliflower crust or something else that works for me.  And like the earlier poster, the first time the family had chinese I had the broth of egg drop soup.  It was AMAZING - so tasty - and I felt I was participating in my own way. Also, as a side bar:  my family bought a lot of food and we realized for the first time that there were days and days of left overs... because I wasn't scarfing them down as I "cleaned up" after dinner, or grabbing some to mindlessly snack on!  (It was a funny moment for all of us.) 

So, OP - you'll find your way in time.  Yes if these things really bother you then do speak up, or leave the area!  But for me, I'm just rolling with it and finding ways to adapt to this new normal - this new way of life.  We'll all get there.  

Good luck!

________

137 pounds lost - from a 24/26W to a size 8/10!

 

SkinnyScientist
on 5/7/15 3:32 am

Listen to Grim on this. The rest of the world hasnt had WLS..you have.

RNY Surgery: 12/31/2013; 

Current weight (2/27/2015) 139lbs, ~14% body fat

Three pounds below Goal!!! Yay !  

CGCL
on 5/5/15 2:31 pm
RNY on 02/19/15

My hubby ate ice cream and a lot of pasta for the first couple weeks I was home...he was actually stress eating. I'd been pretty sick and he played nurse from the moment I came home, had to sleep on the sofa because he came home with a terrible head cold my second day home, and then he had to deal with me being back in the hospital for almost a week with an infection. When I got home from that, one night he had chinese takeout, then the next he ran to get a huge milkshake at the local fast food joint and the night after he needed a Dairy Queen.

He'd normally take 2-3 days to eat something like that but sat right down and scarfed the whole thing. He was under a lot of stress and that's how he dealt with it. Now, at 11 weeks out, he's enjoying fresh veggies and not eating pasta or rice at all, which he used to demand every night. I think seeing me get better and the results I've been getting over the last few weeks has helped him relax and see that I'm really ok and not going to leave him any time soon. 

Height: 6'0" HW 5/2013 295. Consult 7/29/14 275. SW 261. RNY 2/19/15. M1:-33! M2:-13.5. M3:-12. M4:-10.8. M5:-9.7. M6:-5. M7: -4.5. Pregnant 8/15-5/16. 10 weeks post partum: 173.

Kate -True Brit
on 5/5/15 5:21 pm - UK

That is selfish of your husband! Bit you are going to have to,learn to deal with this, and it can be very hard! 

But you CAN do it, and as the weight starts gong and you start to feel better, you may find it easier. 

Highest 290, Banded - 248   Lowest 139 (too thin!). Comfort zone 155-165.

Happily banded since May 2006.  Regain of 28lbs 2013-14.  ALL GONE!

But some has returned! Up to 175, argh! Off we go again,

   

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