How to talk with people about my upcoming surgery

do you discuss and share ALL your medical issues with those you work with? If not,why not? Is it because your medical issues are private? So is this surgery. It  is a medical condition and I would not tell anyone who didn't need to know.

This is going to sound silly, but I actually hadn't thought about the surgery as a private medical issue, but it absolutely is. And you're right that if I don't want to share, I shouldn't have to. Thanks.

I didn't ---

I told my husband and a close friend ---- everyone else was told after my surgery.

I told work that I needed time off for a medical procedure (my boss actually stopped me and told me that he did not WANT to hear any details -- that is was not his business --- and helped me file my short-term disability paperwork).

I had made my decision -- did not need to or want to justify it to anyone.  And I did not want to hear about someone's 'aunt's best friend's cousin's cat who had THE surgery and died or gained all of their weight back'.

Exactly. Every one has some horror story of someone that I'm afraid they'll all want to share. :)

I didn't tell anyone at work.  In fact, I didn't even take a leave of absence.  I took a week of vacation.  I figured if something went wrong and I needed to be out longer then I would need to tell the administrator of our leave plan (which is a third party administrator), but I would still be under no obligation to tell HR, my boss, anyone exactly why I was on medical leave.

Everyone at work has seen me gain and lose massive amounts of weight several times over the years, so they likely currently think this is another one of my attempts.  I suspect once I get closer to goal, I will start getting questions about how I did it, at which point, I will not lie.  I just don't feel obligated to explain my medical situation in advance.

On the other hand, if you feel that telling your co-workers would in some way provide you motivation and support, then go for it.  It really is all about what you feel comfortable revealing.  Whatever your choice, do it for you not for them.

I told immediate family before surgery and now being over 2 months pre-op I haven't shared with anyone beyond that. It's not their business to feel the need to shed an opinion on something that is a medical matter that I addressed in the way I chose to. My response to those that mention the weight loss: "Yup, I have been working hard on getting healthy, being more active and really monitoring what goes into my body." Is this a lie in any way, shape or form? No, it just leaves out the part they don't need to know about. Some people want to share it as often as possible because they love the attention and all the questions, I choose to keep it to myself, work hard and thank people when they mention I have lost weight. Literally the same thing I have done the other dozen times Ive fluctuated 50+lbs, only this time will be the last time they'll need to.

Dan

I love it: "Whatever your choice, do it for you not for them." Thanks!

I told my husband, my mother and father and no one else. My HR department knows only that I was going to be out for medical reasons and that was only for FMLA reasons. I didn't and don't want to hear everyone's horror story nor do I want to subject myself to unnecessary judgment from people (even my friends) who don't have knowledge of my medical history or have researched WLS to the extent we have. My friends and co-workers have seen me yo-yo and know that I exercise and try to eat healthy. If asked about my weight loss my answer is that I started exercising, cut out refined sugar and started making better food choices. Bottom line it's no one's business. I will share if and when I want to. Share what you want with whom you want but don't feel pressured that you have to let everyone know that you had WLS.

Thanks. You're so right that it's ours to share with whoever we choose.

I totally get it.  I live/work in San Francisco (health food central) with people who are gluten-free, paleo, vegan triathlete ultra marathoners.  I was particularly worried about my division SVP, who is hard-core vegan bikram yogini.  

I decided there was "no shame in my game" and I would tell anyone who asked.  I was embarrassed and ashamed at the beginning, but then it dawned on me -- what are they going to figure out?  That I struggle with my weight?  Like that wasn't already obviously.  

When I started being totally honest and unapologetic about my plans, I was SO SURPRISED...everyone was incredibly supportive.  No one tried to talk me out of it...the only questionable thing people said was "I did think you were THAT big..."  Backhanded complement?  You may be pleasantly taken aback by how much support you get!