Need Help Getting Back on Track

I haven't been online since 2009.  Hard for me to believe.  I practically lived here back then.  Now I need some help.  I had my surgery in September 2007.  At one time I was closing in on 400 pounds.  I went down to 135 pounds post surgery - too low according to my surgeon.  I maintained for a good while.  In 2012 I experienced a life altering experience - my husband passed away from a brain tumor.  My life was upside down.  He & I worked so hard to make me healthy.  He was my rock.  We were looking forward to the good life together.  Now I feel like I'm letting myself & him down.  My eating is out of control.  I can't leave the carbs alone & I graze all night! I'm up to 187 pounds.  How do I stop? 

I'm presleeved but I'd say first, forgive yourself.  You lost your great love and coped for many days by finding comfort in some old habits.  It's ok.  Now, that you're ready, I'd think that the veterans might say that you should start at the beginning.  Yep, redo those early post-op plans in succession for a while until you feel your way back to an appropriate , healthy and manageable weight.  Perhaps use an incentive that will honor your dear husband.  I wish you the best and am sending virtual hugs and cheers.  You can do this! 

HUGS to you.  I'm sorry for your incredible loss.  It is very understandable that you coped with the loss of your hubby by emotional eating. 

Get back on track to honor him, yourself and you both worked on for you to be healthy.  What would he want you to do?  From how you describe him, it seems he would want you to get back on track.  

Check out the article 16 Way To Get Back On Track.  Carbs produce the "feel good" in our brains.  Grazing during the night would be a way to comfort yourself when you feel his loss.  Take one thing at a time and be gentle with yourself.  

I hope you'll join the Back On Track Together OH Group for even more support.  You say that you practically lived on OH before.  I hope you'll do that now in the Back On Track Together group and on the message boards too.  You know that you will get help and support.  

Lots of hugs and support to you.

I had surgery in October 2007 and lost my husband to cancer in July, 2009.  

I could never go back to basics.  When I was falling apart after the funeral I allowed myself one old bad habit.  I went back to drinking Coke Zero.  A lot of Coke Zero.  Sometimes six 20 ounce bottles a day.  It did not cause weight gain but I finally was able to kick that habit again.

I could never go back to basics.  It sounds great in therapy but makes as much sense to me as telling your teenage son to go back to baby formula.  I have a grownup pouch and can eat grownup foods.  

I eat five or six small meals a day.  My total calories stay about 1400 to maintain 136 pounds.  I weigh daily and am careful if the scale goes up.  You are maintaining 189 pounds which means you are eating about 2000 calories a day.  If you cut out 500 calories a day you will lose 1 pound a week. 

Decide what you want your weight to be and allow yourself the weeks needed to get there.  Keep your goals in sight and be realistic.  Aim for a BMI of about 25.  Talk to your doctor about the best goal weight for you.  You still have an excellent tool, you just have to start using it again.

I am SO sorry for your loss! I can't not even imagine what you must have and continue to be going through losing your husband! But unfortunately I can imagine what gaining weight feels like because I also have regained weight since my surgery (30 pounds). I am part of the Back On Track Together group on here. I have found it to be a tremendous amount of help already!! I don't know about others, but for ME, going back to basics just means what my Dr. had asked I watch after surgery. I didn't go back to liquid only or soft foods only type of 'back to basics'. But I do now only eat foods that have 5 or less grams of fat per serving for example. I only allow myself carbs that come from vegetables and cut sugar totally out. This is how I should eat for the rest of my life and this is what back to basics means to me. No matter you are looking for support and tips and we are all here for you when it comes to that :) Return to the times when you "lived" here and visit often and post as much as possible!!! It helps not only you, but others as well. Welcome back and together we will turn this around. Wishing you the best of luck!