Dating after 60 with loose skin issues...........warning: long

LOL…………he had this weird thing about wanting to give me an A spot ******………what I also should have said was “You may want to take anatomy lessons for future sex servicing as it might increase your success rate.

PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU TELL HIM HE HAS A  REALLY REALLY Little dick and that was NEVER enough to satisfy you  You can tell him its ugly too ...

What I read was... a strong, confident woman ended a relationship because she deserved better.  Good for you!  He doesn't deserve your heartache.  Be thankful you didn't stay in an emotionally abusive relationship.  Let the healing begin!

You are an amazing person!!  Don't EVER let anyone tell you otherwise! I still (after 7 years post-op) have excess skin, but you can't tell because I wear body shapers. 

My husband likes EVERY part of me (skin and all)...even prefers me without my make up.  You will find a good person who will love you for YOU as well, and honestly accept you for who you are on the inside, and not what you look like on the outside.

I believe that you will come out on top in all of this Marie.  May Heavenly Father continue to bless and guide you throughout this whole ordeal. 

You are wonderful, you are blessed, you are loved my dear!

Marie,

     I don't know that there is a lot that anyone can say to make you feel better about the way you broke up, your man obviously said something quite insensitive, though I'm sure he was no great shakes either.  As for being lonely at 60, do you have brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews?  If the answer is no, then might I suggest that you consider being a foster parent, or adopting?  these suggestions come along with their own problems, but loneliness is not one of them.  dedicate some of your time to that niece and or nephew...call your brother or sister, and if you have neither, adopt one.  Don't allow someone to take away your self worth because they are insecure in themselves.  You were obviously secure enough in yourself to shed this relationship, now solve your next problem and move on.

I love ladies groups also, such as red hats society.  Do a search in your area. Similar folks to yourself are out there and just cause they aren't a "boyfriend" doesn't mean you can't enjoy their company!

Dear Marie , 

I really feel the pain in your post .  (((()))) I find myself  in a similar situation with important differences .  I got sober about six months ago with a younger boyfriend who brought me to AA and admitted himself into rehab a few weeks later .  He's been sober since but has no support group, no AA no " recovery" so he's essentially whats called a " dry  drunk" - regal, blaming, restless and discontented , and in his case also physically emotionally and financially abusive . 

I have never doubted that he was after the grrrl , not what I have.. and that he's very physically attracted me ( we often made love four times a day ) despite some body issues related to weight loss ( flabby stomach etc) .

 However he made life together absolutely impossible by stalking me constantly ..requiring me to be at his beck and call literally every hour he wasn't working and limiting my work and social contacts. When my befriend  got frustrated , he'd insult me in the meanest most confidence eroding way , he'd threaten and even physically act out , grabbing me , bruising me , even pulling my hair and throwing coffee on outfits he thought were too attention getting. 

He told me my " acting days " were over , that he'd sabotage my every attempt at success and indeed he managed to truly mess up a few opportunities with  tantrums and coffee throwing  just before I was scheduled to " perform" .

Yesterday I asked him to leave our home and he promptly moved in with an ex girlfriend who claims they are in a " domestic partnership " on Facebook .. I take that to mean he's sleeping with her .  It truly hurts my heart because I counted on his faithfulness as an exchange for putting up with his ut of control jealousy .

There ARE great guys out here.  I have been astounded at the quality and interestingness of guys I met on e-harmony and even farmers only . But before you re- enter the dating game you may want to spruce yourself and your wardrobe up as much as possible - for yourself not so much as who you'll meet .  You'll feel so much more attractive and hopeful and HOT wearing a cute new outfit and having exercised regularly and just taken care of yourself .  

I oo spent many years alone , preferring that to sharing a body I thought of as a disgusting  prison.  I also known some level that I was attracted to abusive guys .  I was set up for this ( my parents were also neglectful and selfish and products of alcohol damaged homes ) - and I have long been aware of my too -low boundaries and tendency to try to " fix " people even when I know through personal painful experience that it never works . 

For me doing self discovery through the " steps " at  Al- Anon  and Alcoholics Anonymous is proving very insightful and life changing for me .  I no longer have live indoors or experience life through overeating or the internet while  , wishing I was " really living " meeting people , learning and trying new things .  

I discovered today that I can tell a messed -up man to call me again when he has a car ... and his act together - I don't have to " pretend" o ignore the red flag and continue with a meeting or graduate to a date .   Its scary but fun.  

Please believe me - there are MANY guys out here who will find you beautiful beyond their dreams and treat you like  a queen . But  its up to us  to make the considerable effort to audition them :) 

In the past I settled for the first man I had good sex with - and I had sex with very few men .  I made excuses when obvious red flags showed and bent  myself and my life and goals into a pretzel to accommodate their hopeless quirks rather than saying NEXT .

Please be glad this one showed his mean streak now ... not later when you were more enmeshed and even more in love .  He didn't deserve you - just as  my boyfriend of seven months didn't deserve me .  We WILL find better ! Please keep in touch ... we can laugh about our dating exploits

Hello Marie,

I know you wrote this last year but I just got back online and came across it.  I am so sorry you were so mistreated.  After my WLS in 2010 I lost a bunch of weight but it started to come back on when my mom passed in 2012... my husband of 13 years was never supportive and would not touch me even before my WLS and also said terrible things... well, in 2013 he decided he wanted to divorce me and retire on the beach without me.  I was devastated and had to move out of my hometown and support group of friends.  I find myself 56 yrs old, in a new mountain community, single and still down 40lbs after surgery... what do I do now?  Did you decide to date?  If so, how have you been handling it?  Please let me know how you have found peace after WLS and dating.

Thank you,  Dana

PS:  please friend me if you would like