WLS and Marriage

My husband is disabled. Even though I still have a lot of loose skin and 20 more pouinds to lose, he went through major insecurity. It really annoyed me and insulted me.  I will say I would have divorced him if my child wasn't still living at home.  It has since gotten much better better since I found a counselor who does not just do talk therapy.  We actually have a plan how to deal with things so I don't feel so miserable.  I will stay married if things don't get awful and unbearable.

Hi Jill,

when I had my surgery and lost weight, my husband and I were at out 20 year of marriage. We had had our problems but weight was never one of them. I was over weight he was at a better one. When I started losing weight rapidly he started gaining. He did get jealous and often would joke how weak I looked or too skinny for his likes. I did realize though, that that was his insecurity speaking. It was hard but I confronted him with everything that I felt was hurting and that his insecurity would end this marriage. It took him a while but I would make plans without him, go out with our kids, out to dinner with friends, then I would tell him, 'I could continue to go out alone without you, or with you, and I id love to have you along better' that changed our relationship for the better. It's communication that's the key. Talk, argue, yell, or cry but talk it out afterwards. It's better then just ignoring and walking away. We have now reached our 23 anniversary. I love him and our marriage is worth the work. No weightloss would deter me from a my goal to better my marriage. Even though he is now overweight. All I can tell you is to speak bluntly and clear. Explain to him how this journey can be  his, too. Give him a role in your journey. That can only open him up more and empathy towards your fears will be known. Good luck!