WLS and Marriage
Same here... you have a lot of people who can relate and help you through this... I even figured it was just me... it's surprising to see how this changes people... you are not alone girl! Reach out...you have a lot of support here ...people who can relate...
Gastric Bypass Surgery October 1st 2014
248lbs day of surgery
Goal 135 lbs
current weight 128 lbs
on 4/14/15 10:17 am
My marriage has become stronger.
I'm sorry for those of you who are unhappy. Life is too short to spend it miserable.
"What you eat in private, you wear in public." --- Kat
As Laura already said, marriages/relationship that were strong before one partner has WLS tend to get even stronger while ones that were already in trouble get worse. Both of these scenarios can be a result of one partner gaining confidence as they are losing weight.
In a good relationship, that makes that person a better partner (since they are happier with themselves, are able to do more (which often means being able to spend more time with their partner).
In a troubled relationship, though, that confidence and happiness may shine a brighter light on the relationship flaws, and -- as confidence increases -- the partner losing weight often becomes less willing to settle for a bad relationship, less afraid that if they end their current relationship they won't ever find another partner. Sometimes the spouse who is NOT losing weight becomes fearful that their partner will cheat on them or leave them and they "act out" in the relationship because of that fear and/or jealousy.
In was not married when I had my surgery, but had been in a committed relationship for a couple of years. I think that deep down we both knew that it wasn't going to work long term, but it was comfortable nd there WAS some fear in my part that if I got out of that relationship, no one else would want me because of my weight. We ended it when I was about a year out. I didn't date anyone for six years after that, but have been dating a wonderful man for a number of months now.
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
It has to be a major change all around in your household. I don't know when you had surgery, but maybe give him some time to adjust to the new you. You are on this whirlwind of changes and that can be intimidating and scary for some people and they don't know how to get on board the train with you.... just a thought, I could be totally wrong. Good Luck.
Cynthia 5'11" RNY 7/23/2014
Goal reached 17 months. 220lb Weight Loss
Plastic Surgery Dr. Joseph Michaels - LBL and Hernia Repair 2/29/16, Arm Lift, BL, 5/2/16, Leg Lift 7/25/16
#lifeisanadventure #fightthegoodfight #noregrets