WLS and Marriage

David F.
on 4/14/15 11:09 am - Henderson, NV

You are a beautiful woman, if he can't handle it then there are other men who will want to!

Daveo

Surgery: Feb 9, 2015   HW: 517SW: 467

    

  

        
blukoolaid75
on 4/14/15 11:43 am - Albuquerque, NM

Your sweet David but I don't think a woman with 5 children can be beautiful enough for a man to want to take on!  Lol

Gastric Bypass Surgery October 1st 2014

248lbs day of surgery

Goal 135 lbs 

current weight 128 lbs 

David F.
on 4/14/15 2:01 pm - Henderson, NV

A good woman is a good woman, no matter what!

 

Daveo

Surgery: Feb 9, 2015   HW: 517SW: 467

    

  

        
blukoolaid75
on 4/14/15 2:10 pm - Albuquerque, NM

You are so sweet..I  bet you got yourself a great one!

Gastric Bypass Surgery October 1st 2014

248lbs day of surgery

Goal 135 lbs 

current weight 128 lbs 

David F.
on 4/14/15 2:14 pm - Henderson, NV

I wish, maybe one day.

Daveo

Surgery: Feb 9, 2015   HW: 517SW: 467

    

  

        
steppy1980
on 4/14/15 5:57 am

I don't know how you feel after having surgery, but my decision to have the surgery is wrecking my marriage.  Keep your head up and good luck

blukoolaid75
on 4/14/15 11:45 am - Albuquerque, NM

Same here... you have a lot of people who can relate and help you through this... I even figured it was just me... it's surprising to see how this changes people... you are not alone girl! Reach out...you have a lot of support here ...people who can relate... 

Gastric Bypass Surgery October 1st 2014

248lbs day of surgery

Goal 135 lbs 

current weight 128 lbs 

CerealKiller Kat71
on 4/14/15 10:17 am
RNY on 12/31/13

My marriage has become stronger.

I'm sorry for those of you who are unhappy.  Life is too short to spend it miserable.

"What you eat in private, you wear in public." --- Kat

Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version

on 4/14/15 1:37 pm - OH

As Laura already said, marriages/relationship that were strong before one partner has WLS tend to get even stronger while ones that were already in trouble get worse.  Both of these scenarios can be a result of one partner gaining confidence as they are losing weight.  

In a good relationship, that makes that person a better partner (since they are happier with themselves, are able to do more (which often means being able to spend more time with their partner). 

In a troubled relationship, though, that confidence and happiness may shine a brighter light on the relationship flaws, and -- as confidence increases -- the partner losing weight often becomes less willing to settle for a bad relationship, less afraid that if they end their current relationship they won't ever find another partner.  Sometimes the spouse who is NOT losing weight becomes fearful that their partner will cheat on them or leave them and they "act out" in the relationship because of that fear and/or jealousy.

In was not married when I had my surgery, but had been in a committed relationship for a couple of years. I think that deep down we both knew that it wasn't going to work long term, but it was comfortable nd there WAS some fear in my part that if I got out of that relationship, no one else would want me because of my weight.  We ended it when I was about a year out.  I didn't date anyone for six years after that, but have been dating a wonderful man for a number of months now.

Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

NYMom222
on 4/14/15 5:16 pm
RNY on 07/23/14

It has to be a major change all around in your household. I don't know when you had surgery, but maybe give him some time to adjust to the new you. You are on this whirlwind of changes and that can be intimidating and scary for some people and they don't know how to get on board the train with you.... just a thought, I could be totally wrong. Good Luck.

Cynthia 5'11" RNY 7/23/2014

Goal reached 17 months. 220lb Weight Loss
Plastic Surgery Dr. Joseph Michaels - LBL and Hernia Repair 2/29/16, Arm Lift, BL, 5/2/16, Leg Lift 7/25/16

#lifeisanadventure #fightthegoodfight #noregrets

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