23 days to surgery

Hi all

I'm 23days til surgery. I have  my told my husbsnd and my older 2 sons. My 14 year old is very sensitive so  waiting another week. A few issues first being my surgery is day after Greek Easter and my husband insisting on telling his mom. Problem is his mom will announce to all. I'm not going.because I will be on clear fluids and nervous wreck.I just want my privacy. He insists she must know!also how do you handle telling people I asked him to tell her if he has too. That's it's a surgery,but he is honest to a fault!so any suggestions???surgery April 13!I'm excited and terrified...also anyone know how soon I can drive after surgery??? Sorry so lengthy but in a wreck!!!thanks :)

Hi momx3!

Congratulations on your upcoming surgery! I have a few months to go so I am still pre-op (obviously...lol!)

Your husband sounds like mine. Very supportive and caring, but honest to a fault. I have asked him to keep things between us over the years, but he is just not able to hold things in. I think telling others is his talk therapy!

I don't know of your relationship w/your mother-in-law, and if you can speak to her directly about how you feel. If you have not told her I am assuming you may not have that kind of relationship. That puts you in a difficult situation if your honest husband feels compelled to tell her!

I have had to 'let things go' to focus on myself at times, and getting distracted in my weight loss surgery journey is one of them. I would try to keep your 'eyes on the prize' and not get sidetracked with what others know or find out. You have no control over others and you need your energy to concentrate on YOU!

I imagine that if ppl wanted to discuss this with me and I wanted privacy I would have to tell them I am dealing with a lot right now, and I will discuss their questions/concerns when I am in a better place. Hopefully they would back off!

I am torn between not going to our relatives for Easter b/c I am very early on in learning/practicing my meal plans and feel I could not handle Easter well this early on. I think if I was on the liquid diet I would definitely hide out!

Anyhow, that is the best I have to offer. Wish you luck!

Hi thank you for your advice and encouragement!and good luck. It's a long process! And I didn't choose date... So it being day after Easter I can't drink my clear fluids and deal with his relatives ! I told him he can go with boys but I just can't ! Easter always a difficult holiday after 30 yrs. My mil and I have had a rocky relationship so anything she can mad at - she will. But I dont care this time. This is about me and what I need! I've jumped threw hoops for months and been miserable with weigh for years. She is also always on me about weight. It's a hard situation! But ty Ty ty I'm so happy to get an outsider opinion! Good luck with everything. If you need me threw your journey don't hesitate!!!all the best!

Hello, I am two weeks post-op. Not sure what your surgeon will tell you about driving but mine said anytime after 48 hours as long as I was not taking narcotic pain medication or in pain. Most of the first week I just worked on getting in my liquids walking some and sleeping a lot. My 1st follow up appointment was on day 8 and I drove to it and back which was an hour each way. took my sister with me just in case I was too tired..but I did fine.

I think who we tell and feel comfortable telling what we are doing is our business. I told many of my co-workers, I'm sure that some told others but I don't know. Same with family I told some, I am sure some other were told but that really didn't bother me. I told my in-laws but I have a wonderful MIL and she is so sweet....she just didn't think I was that big and needed it. But I explained I had battled it all my life and lost a bunch and was putting it back on at a fast rate and I just couldn't handle it..I had this chance to have this done. She again has been wonderful. I know other know that I did not tell, but all in all I really don't care! It's my body, its me and it's my choice. I am the person that has to live  this body...not them. And I got news for them....it's not the easy way out!!

Hi congrats! I'm so excited about all you said. Thank you:)

my mil is my problem. I too have lost a lot but quickly gained back. And she was always the one to point out my weight. But because it's day after Easter is the problem. She will want to tell everybody.. Part of me dies not care but the other is I don't want to be topic of conversation all day ( during Easter ) with surgery next morning. I want her to know just after Easter. But my husband insists she knows. I don't know. Like you said its in no way an easy fix! But in her mind will not be a big deal. She's 82 but has more of a social like then my 24 yr old son! Thankfully I have 3 amazing sons( 24,22 and 14) and all very supportive... I'm nervous and just don't feel like I have to put her first. Anyway thank you so much for your help. Good luck with the rest of your journey ! You made it threw the hard part! I can't wait to get there! Thanks so much!!! Really appreciate not feeling alone. You helped me a lot. All the best! 

Just keep focusing on yourself honey. Can you not ask your husband to wait until after Easter for you? Tell him you don't want to be the topic of conversation at their Easter dinner. Tell him as far as why you are not their with them is that you do have some things that you needed to work thru and didn't want to partake of the dinner.  Heck tell him to tell them you are dieting and don't want to mess it up!!! If he will wait until after the dinner at least you will not be the topic of the day that way! :) Keep your chin up, you are going to do great and be on the winning side very soon.

My surgery is the day after yours and the only people I have told are my husband and my mother. I started the process a year ago and he has been encouraging and supportive the whole time. I just told my mother 2 days ago. My husband feels I'm going to have to tell people sooner or later because of the weight loss and the change in eating. My mom says it's up to me who I tell and what I tell them. Her suggestion should any ask is to tell them I've changed my eating habits and started exercising again which is the truth. If I want to say more it's up to me because it's my news to tell. The question to ask your husband is why is it important to him that your MIL knows right now? It is your news to tell when, what and who. You have enough to think about preparing for surgery and the lifestyle change afterwards.

I have found tremendous support here so stay in touch. I'll be thinking about you and look for you since we will be starting our journey at the same time.

Hi thank you!I don't get why it is imperative he tell his mom. But says it will.be held on earth if he doesn't tell her!I think it's the timing. Easter is a touchy subject. For 30years every Easter is some kind of feud. However this year I don't care!he can go it's out on the IslAm (75 miles) away I'm not stopping him. But I'm.not going. He just insists she knows.  He's been great with me but this is causing unnecessary stress!!!at this point I just can't worry about not being there. Those people don't care if I'm there. Uh huh such stresses! 

I'm ex tied we are journey together! Are you from Ny ?

I'm glad we can go threw this together! I suddenly don't feel so alone!I'm ready ! I just want to get past surgery part. Gotta run but thanks for giving me a life line and friend. We can do this!!! Then get our lives back!😇😃😂

I'm on the other coast in California. 

Congratulations on your surgery date!  

Here are some links to information you may find helpful:

http://www.obesityhelp.com/articles/photographing-your-weigh t-loss-surgery-journey/

http://www.obesityhelp.com/articles/weight-loss-surgery-hosp tial-stay-what-to-pack/

http://www.obesityhelp.com/articles/four-on-the-floor-self-c are-after-weight-loss-surgery/

I know it's hard but focus on you. It's about you not the family.  Stay strong and look forward to the day when she announces to the family your weight loss!

We can't wait to hear from you post-op!