Seeing the future

I go to the Dr tomorrow for the first appointment in the greatest journey of my life. I have always been overweight. Usually was just 30lb or so, I got pregnant, gained 100lb and now im like 130 or so overweight. I have been in a relationship for 7 years, one of the biggest things that has come between us is my weight. He loves me just wishes I was smaller. Wants to do things that are not physically possible being my size. We have worked through a lot and kept our relationship strong. I have had low self esteem since gaining all of this weight 8 years ago. Now that this is all becoming reality with the appointments and conversations I am worried about the future of us. Granted my self esteem should be reestablished rather quickly but I get a feeling deep down that this is also going to be the end of a relationship. I do not look forward to being picked up or carried that is far from what I want. He cant wait to be able to do that. little things that get me scared we are not going to work out. He is not overweight at all and is physically fit as well. Just nervous about the whole process and the end result. Though I cannot wait for the day that my son can wrap his arms around me for a hug (and this has to be before he is 10)

My advice to you would be to try and think of the positive possible outcome not the negative possible outcomes.  Aside from the relationship issues, you will find your biggest chanllenge is to change your thinking.  My head hunger the first couple of months was enormous.  And I had to battle to keep it in check.  Once that passed, and it does, you gain condidence from that success.  And as you go through this process, and you see the scales move and you clothes size change, it reinforces in your mind the changes that you are making are worth it.

My wife told me this weekend that my entire demeanor has changes as I have lost weight.  I'm happier, more opptomistic, and am willing to try new things.  She is right and some of it is conscious and some not so much.  I was at the dr the other day and around here now they all want to take your picture for the records.  I have always declined as I hated the way I looked.  I had to stop myself from saying no the other day.  Oddly, that was a hurdle for me and I'm glad I'm over it. 

As you go through this journey, you will find yourself able to do things you could never have imagined before.  As those thing happen, you will probably see an improvement in your relationship! Good Luck.

I am definitely focusing on the positive like HEAT for example. The summer is fast approaching in NC and I am tired of always being so hot. I know that some of my meds have made me more sensitive to heat but the extra weight does not help. I havent worn shorts in 6 years and I am desperate to just be comfortable. That is the biggest thing I am looking forward to. With that said the worry I have is that I am going to leave the relationship. Just a feeling I get. Tomorrow is the 1st appointment and I wish I was scheduling surgery. I am ready for all the pain and inconvenience that will lead to my optimum health and comfort. Congrats on your loss I wish you well.

Have you talked to him about your feelings and what you actually want/don't want?  That seems like a good starting place if you haven't already.  

Therapy, therapy, therapy...get in now and start working on all the emotional stuff.  Believe me, there isn't enough hours in the day to work on all the stuff needed before surgery.  It's an ongoing process.  

Fear not! 

Relationships can be difficult in good times, and very stressful when one person is making drastic changes.  Definitely start talking to a therapist.  Your surgeon's office should be able to recommend someone that deals with these issues. 

You don't have to lose the relationship, but you do need to do the work to keep it healthy.