I don't know how to be anything but fat

March 23rd is my surgery date. As I sit here I find myself thinking about how I have been fat all my life. Even as a small child I was fat. I have memories of my mother getting mad at me because she couldn't find clothes to fit me. I've adapted to my size. I have a false sense of self confidence. I am the biggest I have ever been right now but that is about to change. I'm not scared of the surgery itself what I'm worried about is how much my life is going to change. I don't know how to be anything but fat. But, I'm willing to find out how to finally be a normal weight.

Good for you for thinking about the emotional journey. We have a list of foods to eat, exercises to do but the emotional stuff... a lot of that is unchartered territory. For me... I blamed a lot of "stuff" in my life on the weight. when the weight was gone... I blamed the excess skin for awhile... got some of that removed... eventually... I had no choice but to really look at the why's of why I gained weight, the emotional journey has been THE HARDEST PART... uncovering and chipping away at those lifelong demons. It was long overdue. 

Get a strong support system in place... family, friends, Dr, therapist, support group, here... whatever you need and know that you aren't alone figuring it all out.

Best wishes on your upcoming surgery. It was truly the best gift I ever gave myself.

~Michelle "Shelly"

 

When my surgeons office called me to schedule the surgery I was asked if I wanted to participate in their Angel program, which is what they call the support group. I immediately said yes. I also plan on attending the conference in Raleigh/Durham and can't wait to meet others who have been through this journey. I look at all the before and after pictures and think one day that will be me. I grew up in a restaurant family, my parents, uncles, cousins all own/owned restaurants. I am the only one in my family who is obese. I'm also the only one who has PCOS, heart disease, and Hashimotos. I need this surgery to save my life and with that will come changes. Thank you for your support, I truly appreciate it. 

There are many people here who were in the same position, so there are many who can provide suggestions and support.

Unfortunately, being fat often becomes part of your identity, and it CAN be difficult to navigate the waters of change.  I second what Shelly said. I would strongly encourage you to find a counselor who can help not only with the identity aspect but also changing a lifetime of bad habits.

Lora

Thank you, Lora!! I will embrace this change like a life line and appreciate the support available in this forum!!

I was overweight for about 10 years so my experience is different.
But allow me to share how much you impress me!

I so respect you for your insight to yourself. I am impressed! Changing habits are difficult but awareness is the beginning point. Just had to comment about how your post truly indicates you're dealing with the lifestyle changes that are so necessary! I hope your journey is the best yet!

The emotional/mental aspect is critical and you are so ahead of the game by thinking about it pre-op!

It is a good sign that you are reflecting on this now - before your surgery.  I think the mental aspect of the WL phase goes largely untreated and in my case I completely underestimated the impact being thin would have on my sense of well being.  For my entire life, I was under the impression that all I had to do was get skinny in order to ....fin in the blank.  Little did I know that getting skinny was only a tiny part of it.  It has been a huge learning curve for me to figure out how to live my life not being fat.  I am still figuring it out.  I can say that is is night and day different and for the most part, hugely more satisfying and more fun.  But it can be scary and unsettling too.  It isn't a cure all either.  

I applaud you for your courage in seeking support now and hope you find what you need to help you and support you through the entire journey and maintenance of your WLS experience.  Coming to this forum, lurking, reading, posting and sharing the good, bad and ugly have been instrumental in my success and helping me navigate through the world of thin with people who "get" it.  

I'll be thinking of you on the 23rd and hoping for an uneventful surgery for you with a smooth recovery.  Come back often and let us know how you are doing!  Good luck - Ash

Congratulations on deciding to have WLS. You came to a great place for support. There are a lot of people here  who want to help.

When I read your post I must say you are being totally honest. This is the start of a new chapter in your life. Your life will change. The head part is the hardest. But it is totally doable.

I will say my life has changed for the better. Life is always going to have stress and other things that were there before surgery. Learning to cope with them in different ways than going to food for comfort.

Best wishes to you

 

 

The mental struggles can be the hardest part. Check out the support groups. I happen to have very good ones, although not everyone has that experience where they are. There are also several community based groups in my area that are better than the hospital ones. I feel going to them, coming, on here, trying to eat right is my job right now. I made this big decision I want to do everything I can to make it work. I also have been heavy my whole life. So I get it. I had the realization a couple of weeks ago I am one of those people who will always have to watch what I eat, but I would rather do it thinner than stay fat and have all the problems associated with that. Good Luck!

I'm with you though I had periods of life where I dieted myself to a normal size, only to regain.  To this day, going on my 5th year of being a normal size, a record that I've never even come close to before, I still feel like a fat person in a thin suit.

You have your eyes open and are lining up your support team.  I think you will do fine.  Just buckle up, you are in for the ride of your life.