Surely I'm not the only one struggling when it comes to mental & emotional health and...

This is a great reply. thanks for sharing your story.

You have expressed my greatest fear - what happens if I go through all this, and then my issues with food put me right back where I started. I read posts where people talk about working with counselors and therapists, but where do they find them? I was having depression issues related to work, weight, finances, and asked for a referral through my EAP. They have me a list of about ten names. I called them, each one. Specialists in play therapy for children; couples counseling; gender reassignment issues; touch therapy; new age therapy (whatever that is), etc. Even the one specializing in addiction was focusing on drugs, not food. Not taking new patients, only taking patients in their specialty. Etc. I gave up. 

Kaiser has a social services department of some kind, but if I go see them, does that impact my ability to get surgery? What kind of support can I get after the surgery? I desperately want to work through the issues that helped me get this way, but how do I find that help? Surgery is a big part of the solution, but only a part. Failing at keeping the weight off would create a hole I'll never get out of. I'm not afraid of the surgery, just of failing, like I've failed every diet I've ever been on.

Please oh please don't give up Briardlady!!!!  I know there ARE counselors out there... I know it.  I just haven't cracked that nut yet.  But as I uncover more tricks and steps in the right direction, I'll be sure to pass them along to you!

Go here: http://locator.apa.org/  Choose "Health" for "Area of Specialization," run a search, and call every health psychologist that you find until you find one who takes your insurance and is taking new patients. I can't tell you how much of a life changer it was for me to find a psychologist TRAINED in health-related issues, and I've seen a lot of therapists in my life, starting as a child. I'd also recommend finding one who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy -- it's a well-proven, evidence-based method for changing habits, behavior, and thought patterns. Not having luck with one therapist doesn't mean therapy doesn't work, I promise!

Great link! Thank you 4FurKids!!!

There are lots of people in the same boat as you, so you aren't alone. I see the same story on OH all the time. The posts ALWAYS start with, "I haven't logged in for a long time, and I'm back because I've regained xx pounds."

You won't find a fix overnight. Just take a step at a time. For now, come here and spend a few minutes reading and replying to some posts everyday. The accountability will help get your head back where it belongs. It's a very small thing to commit to. If you can do that, it will help you take another step.

Good luck, and I hope to see you around.

This is great wisdom - thank you Grim_Traveller!

None of us got morbidly obese without underlying issues. We have to figure out what they are.

I keep stuff out of the house that I have a hard time with. I examine my reasons for eating. I am eating from boredom, etc. I get off my ass even when I don't want to. These are things I do. They aren't pearls of wisdom, but sometimes the simple answer works best for me.

I knew going in that I would always have to manage my eating. It helps me to think in terms of benefits and drawbacks. Example: cake is delicious but makes me feel crappy and sets off a storm of carb cravings. If I can stop myself before mindlessly shovel in cake (or whatever), I can usually gain control and ask myself if I really want to eat X. The answer is usually no.

There are a lot of mental health professionals out there who can help. If your insurance doesn't cover it, look for one with a sliding scale.

I find my struggle is cyclical. Sometimes it is easy, and sometimes it is harder. If I limit simple carbs, watch portions, and eat lean protein first, it is easier. 

Good luck

I weigh myself every morning and stress over 1/2 pound gain and rejoice over a 1/2 pound loss.

I found the best way to keep my weight at goal is to never let myself be in denial. 

I come to this board every day.  Mostly just to read, sometimes to offer a comment if I think it might help.  If I want to lose weight I reduce my calories by 500 a day and lose one pound a week.  Sometimes I reduce by 250 a day and lose 1/2 pound a week.  I always know what I weigh and what I am eating. 

Food is only fuel to me.  I enjoy what I eat.  I never get cravings because I allow myself to eat anything.  I just eat the bad stuff very rarely.  Mostly it is meat, cheese and vegetables.  I drink a lot of water.  Easily 100 ounces a day. 

I know that I will maintain 136 pounds at 1400 calories a day.  Every morning I make sure that I did maintain.  If not, then it is time to cut down until the scale says what I want to see. 

I know if I regain I will be depressed and miserable and so never let it happen, plain and simple, I know my mental state could not stand the failure of regain after wls, so I made sure, at all costs that I do not regain.  Eat less and move more.  Yup, that's what I do.  I quit food.  I broke up, I make myself not crave food because I do not let it rule over my life any more.  You have to do this again for yourself.  It isn't fun or easy, you aren't unique in the slightest way, but you have to figure out for yourself why you went through all this surgery just to let yourself fall back into your old eating habits.  I am sure you can find a counselor to help you, but if you don't believe in that sort of thing, you have to do it for yourself.  It means you have to stop eating crap and keep reducing your calories until you lose the weight back and then live that way forever.  If weighing you goal weight is meaningful to you then you must work for it every day.  Never let your guard down for a minute, don't live in denial, live with the assumption you can and will regain the second you go back to eating as you did that got you to 362 in the first place.  Good Luck.  It isn't easy but its up to you where you end up, no one can do this for you.