I'm so ashamed!

I recently had the vsg (12/19/2013) I'm 20 years old and I'm just going to be flat out honest! I am doing horrible, my dieting has been horrible and I don't really work out. I haven't went to go see my doctor because I'm just too ashamed of what she will say. I'm lost and don't know what to do. My Portion size has increased SO much! Sometimes I don't even feel like I've had the surgery. I really wanna do the right thing and lose weight like I sho be doing but I just don't know where to start. I have a hard time knowing what to buy at the stores. I'm just really lost, any help would be nice. And please don't be mean to me. 

At 15 months out you are able to eat more than you were initially. I suggest you post on the VSG FORUM to get help. They have a daily "What are you eating" post that can give you ideas. If you are not weighing or measuring your portions, you should start. Protein first, then some veggies. No bread or other crappy carbs. Track every bite somewhere like myfitnesspal. Most VSGers seem to limit their calories to 800 and carbs to 40 in the losing phase. Forgive yourself and believe you are worth the effort.

Do not feel ashamed of yourself, ever. Especially here. Staying on track is easy, sometimes. Other times, very difficult. I am struggling myself. It seems sometimes we can conquer anything, and other times, not. Life can be like a roller coaster. Like I said, I'm having a hard time too -- my SO is having major health issues, I'm worried and depressed, and I've turned to comfort food. I'm trying to get on track, one step at a time. First, getting water and vitamins in every day, and getting protein in too. What I have to do now is eliminate the carbs I've let back in. It is a struggle, but I will not accept defeat....I will continue the battle. And I will succeed. I have not come this far for nothing. Stay strong and stay committed -- we can do this. Feel free to p.m. me or add me as a friend.

So many of my fellow VSGers refuse to go to their follow-up appointments because they think they are going to get "yelled out" or will "disappoint" their docs.  Basically, they are ashamed too.  

If you do nothing else, GO TO YOUR DOCTOR!  This is your health we're talking about.  If you're not going to the doc then you're not getting your bloodwork done and you have no idea of the risk you may be putting yourself in.  Vitamin and mineral deficiencies are nothing to mess around with.  

It's also your doc's office that can give you guidance on how to get back on track, what to eat, what to buy.  

No shaming from me.  You are human.  I've been there.  Before I had my revision I felt that I could eat as much as I did before my surgery.  And the same crap, as well.  What I've learned since is that most people can eat a lot of things like chips and candy.  They don't take up a lot of room and they have a lot of calories.  I don't do good at moderating so I avoid those things that I can eat in moderation.

It is true that when I eat protein I do feel a lot of restriction.  If nothing else can you commit to eating at least 20-30 grams of dense protein per meal, before you eat anything else.  Some chicken or steak will fill you up and then hopefully you will feel that restriction again.

Anyway, don't give up.  You do have a tool and it's not going anywhere.  You can pick it up any time you want.  I know how hard it is to start.  The first few days are the hardest but if you can get detox off the refined carbs you will find it a lot easier to eat better.

Good luck to you and don't hide from your doctor.  They have seen it before and they might have some good help for you.

Thank you so much. That really helped me. I just feel like a complete loser! But I will get back to it. What do you recommend I buy to eat? I'm a college student and have a very tight budget. 

You can buy cans of chicken breast and tuna.  Whip those up with a tiny bit of mayo and use it in lettuce for a lettuce wrap or just eat it plain.  I did that for months!  String cheese, cottage cheese, hard boiled eggs, Luna Protein bars ($1 ea.) are all affordable protein options.  

Do you have use of a kitchen?  I buy meat and chicken in bulk, cook it all up at once and then portion it out and vacuum seal it.  I'm not big on cooking and it is so nice to come home, pop a packet into the microwave and have dinner ready.

A few weeks ago Walmart had some rotisserie chickens on sale.  I bought six of them (at $2.50 each) and brought them home and cut them in quarters and vacuum sealed them and I had 24 dinners all ready.

Cheese is another good thing to have on hand.  String cheese is great for a quick snack.  Beef jerky is high in protein.

Eggs are also a great protein source and not too expensive.  Look around and I'm sure you will find other things I'm forgetting about.  Just think protein when you are shopping and I'm sure you will find a lot of ideas. 

I almost forgot Greek yogurt.  I love the Dannon Light & Fit or I get plain and doctor it up myself. 

It is great that you are focusing on fixing your problem!  Go back to the basics... find your original plan and follow it.  As others have said - post on the VSG forum because the rules and what works for me as RNY may not be necessary for you.