You're not 'that' fat?!

I'm at the point where I'm making these last decisions and letting certain friends and family members know about my plans for surgery. Things that I keep on hearing; Have you really tried hard to lose weight? I don't think you're that fat! Don't you think this is the easy way out? Needless to say I'm very disheartened by the lackluster support I've been receiving. I understand that some people are just afraid for me going under the knife but I need my mind put at ease. I guess it's time to seek professional help to put my thoughts and feelings in perspective. God, it feels like 'coming out' of the fat closet! But I'd like to hear from anyone who's been here. Did support come easily or was it a struggle? How did you overcome it? 

I haven't had my surgery yet, my date has been moved to March 23rd. But, for the longest time my mother tried to talk me out of having surgery. She would tell me things like " my friend told me it doesn't work, she had it & gained all her weight back." She would also say things like "I'm worried for your health." 

I told her about the statistics involed with weight loss surgery. I explained how I had researched all the pros & cons. The biggest thing is how it is the best thing for my health because with out it I will die sooner from all the medical problems I have. It took some time to get her to understand how life changing this will be. Hang in there, read all the success stories. Listen to the veterans here, they've been there, done that & would do it all over again if you asked them!! 

My husband has been very supportive, but I haven't told my family yet. This website really helped put my mind at ease:

http://asmbs.org/patients/bariatric-surgery-misconceptions

Thank you for this link. I read and appreciated it.

My husband, family members and friends tried to talk me out of having surgery for a long time.  My husband has always been extremely supportive, but he was scared of the complications until I had him watch some  YouTube transformation videos.  I finally made my decision a few weeks ago and I'm hoping to have my surgery next month.  I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

"My body, my choice." Repeat and memorize! I think many of us deal with it, but in the end it's nobody's decision but our own.

^^^^ What Julie said.

I didn't solicit or encourage the opinions of anyone.  Nor did I keep it a secret.  My husband was concerned only from the perspective that I could die on the operating table.  Then again, anyone can die undergoing any type of surgery.

I don't really care what anyone else thinks about my decision.  I knew it was WLS or living in pain for the rest of my life and I wasn't ready for that.  Don't give the opinions of others too much validity.  Do your research and find out if it's right for you.  Then do it and go full steam ahead.

My surgery is this this Thursday. Regarding your support question: I've read a couple of things about the ridiculous thing people (including MY people say). One, my mother suggested that at 45 years old I still have a significant weight problem b/c I "wasn't ready" to lose weight.  Yup. Chose this all these years....haven't "really" tried until I decided on this.

Second, re: taking the easy way out. First of all, going from the premise that it IS the easy way out......WHY would you intentionally take the "hard" way out?  and why would anyone criticize you for choosing a easier path?  And, surgery is a tool.....a power tool. You can build a house with a hammer or a nail gun. I'd like to meet someone who chooses hammer.......

Finally, I also hear that it's NOT the easy way out.  It's a different and effective way out.

Good luck to you!

I kept my first WLS a secret from everyone but my husband, father-in law and after surgery, my parents.  Even my children didn't know.  It was a heavy burden to go it alone and when I had complications and regain I felt very isolated and blamed myself for allowing food and fear to dominate. 

With my revision to RNY I told everyone who needed to know before surgery and then anyone who asked after.  The difference for me was night and day.  The support is overwhelming at times but I can't imagine being as successful as I have been without it.  I think it has made the difference between my reaching and surpassing my WL goals this time around and struggling and hiding and pretending with my Lap Band.  

Everyone's experience is different and I really hope you find a happy medium and get the support YOU need and deserve.  Don't let fear decide anything - believe in yourself.  You are worth it!

When people asked me if I thought having WLS was the 'easy way out", I replied "I sure as hell hope so! The hard way has never worked for me, and I've been doing it for 35 years now."

People who've never been morbidly obese simply have no clue. Try to look at it like this---they see you facing MAJOR surgery, and because they care about you, they worry. Take it in the spirit it's intended, not the way it actually sounds.