Almost 2 years Post Surgery and Stuck

I have been diagnosed bi-polar for over twenty years.  I do it without meds and sometimes I have to hang on for dear life while I'm riding that emotional rollercoaster.  It is not the cause of my weight gain and it hasn't caused my weight loss.
It's all about knowledge, willpower and calories with a big help from WLS!

You may not be able to control your depression but you can control what you put in your mouth.

 

Is the depression new - or were you already being treated for it at the time of surgery? If so - what has changed? You were able to lose 100 pounds ...... You've got to get a handle on this - maybe, as Julie said, your meds need to be adjusted. Emotions/depression play a major role in our weight loss ... It's not easy - but the answers are within you. You've got to get the professional help you need, otherwise the 100 pounds will be back, and you will feel even worse.

I guess I don't understand what you are looking for?  You know the problem, and the solution. The answer is pretty simple, it's just really, really hard to do. That's why we're all here. The problem is, you want to lose some more weight, but you also don't want to give up the comfort of food. That tug of war inside your head will make you nuts.

You're exactly right about the tug of war inside me.  For most of my life the food has won.

What Grim said.

I understand how depression can cause a type of emotional and behavioral paralysis (BTDT), but you have to get to a place where getting the weight off is more important than what you get from eating comfort food.

If the meds aren't helping, keep working with a psychiatrist to change dosages or medications.  If you are not getting sufficient help from the therapist you are seeing (if (s)he is not helping you deal with your issues and isn't challenging you to break the paralysis), perhaps it is time for a new therapist.  A therapist who makes you feel cared for and supported but doesn't help you find ways to make the changes you need to make despite the depression isn't doing anything but enabling you to stay stuck.

Lora

Well, I've tried just about every medication in the book, am currently on quite a "****tail" of meds.  recently I tried the new Fisher Wallace Stimulator and it just gave me migraines.  It's very hopeless.''

Well, since you have apparently tried EVERYTHING (except, of course, actually finding a way to NOT eat crap),  I guess you're right and it IS hopeless.  

So... What is it exactly that you want from us, then? You have a rebuttal to every suggestion that has been offered.  I suggested a new therapist (since the current one doesn't seem to be helping you with finding ways to alter your behavior) but then you respond with how you have tried just about every medication there is.  

It sounds like you just want someone to tell you that it is hopeless, that you are a helpless victim of mental health issues that are beyond anyone's control and are resistant to every single medication available, and that you are, therefore, not responsible for your weight. Ok, I give up... consider it done.

Is there anything else you need to hear?  

Sarcasm aside, ask your therapist about Prochaska's Stages of Change model. Perhaps if you can jointly identify where you fall inside those first three stages you will gain some insight and then will be able to take some of the suggestions offered without just giving reasons why they aren't  doable. I do sincerely wish you success in getting the psychological issues under control and finding a way to meet your weight goal.

Lora

Yep, you're probably right, I feel it is hopeless and I am wanting others to tell me I am right.

Like i said before, I was also looking for mutual support...sharing the emotional battles we experience and finding a way to help motivate each other.  Like having a buddy that you can call when you're really tempted to eat.

I think I picked the wrong forum to post on. my mistake for taking up everybody's time.  Sorry.

I wish I knew how to do this technically, but I don't so I will just write it.

I'M CLOSING THIS POST.  PLEASE DO NOT POST REPLIES.  THANK YOU.

Poohbear, OMG!  PLEASE DON'T BE DISCOURAGED.  It is in no way hopeless and I cannot believe that there are such heartless people on here that could even lead you to that thinking.  As such, I felt that I had to comment to your post. 

I can somewhat relate to your situation.  I'm over 3 years out since my surgery.  I lost the majority of my weight in the beginning and now, I'm slowly watching the numbers go back up.  Although I don't suffer from depression, I do find that since the weight gain, I'm slowing slipping back into my "unhappiness" that I felt when I was heavier.  Unfortunately, I'm seeing all of my old "demons" rearing their ol' heads again.  I've been trying to analyze WHY I feel this way, and WHY I'm making the same poor choices that I used to make before my surgery. 

I've realized that food is an addiction for me too.  It always was, and apparently, always will be.  I'm an emotional eater.  I'm happy, I eat.  I'm sad, I wallow in food.  You name an emotion and I have an excuse to eat.  Well, I realized that my alcoholic aunt has the same tendencies but with alcohol.  Watching her drown herself over the years has disgusted me because I always thought, "it's self-inflicted.  She can just stop drinking and get better."  I now know it's not that simple.  Addictions suck.  Whether smoking, drinking, or eating, they control you.  I've realized now that I have addictive tendencies, and as such, know that food will control me if I let it.  So, this is what I've proposed to myself. 

If I'm going to be addicted to something, then I will choose what I'm going to be addicted to.  I told myself that I am going to redirect my "addiction" to something that is better for me. 

When I was at the peak of my weight loss journey (doing my best to do what I was supposed to), I was diligently going to the gym and putting in my time.  I felt great when I went.  If I didn't go, my ass dragged.  I actually missed it.  Apparently, I was addicted to working out.  (Who ever knew that could happen!  LOL).  So, I've agreed (with myself), that I am going to redirect my "addiction" to the gym.  I know that it's going to be rough getting back into synch with it again, but know that those old feelings will come back after a little while. 

So, I guess what I'm suggesting is that if you too know that you have an addiction, then maybe you too can find something else to be addicted to.  By all means, that does not mean to pick up things like smoking, drinking or drugs, but to find something that is good for you.  Maybe walking, or jogging, or weight lifting.  Heck, even crocheting or knitting is a better choice!  Do something that you enjoy doing, and give it your best. 

I hope this helps. 

Laura

Hi Pooh! 

Here is the good thing: you have recognized that you are headed down the wrong path when you only are 30 lbs away from goal. I often see people on here who have gained all of their weight back before they come here and try to reverse the pattern. So pat yourself on the back. You have taken the first step in the right direction! 

Who do you have in your life that is supportive of you and your lifestyle? I know from having family members who struggle with depression that having something to do and positive people to be around are key components in recovering from depressive lows. 

It it seems to me, based on what you have said, the depression is really the actual a problem and overeating junk is a symptom of the depression. When you did the pre-op testing, what did the psych evaluation determine before surgery? Was there anything that you did to battle the depression? You obviously did something right because you were successful in losing 100lbs. That's amazing and you should be proud of yourself  

I know where I live there are support group meetings for Bariatric patients who are post op  could you look into something like this where you live? It might motivate you to meet people in the same boat as you who you can support and they can support you. Maybe you could find a walking buddy closeby? You guys can share your experiences, which makes it easier than going through it alone. 

Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy that can help keep you busy and away from snacking on bad food?

you have done the right thing by coming here early on before it gets out of control. Believe in yourself and know that you CAN do this!