I'm Angry

You are each on your own journey.  Bubba has you and his mom to hold his hand, and you feel alone. You have us, even if all you can do is to vent online.  It's OK, we've all been where you are.

You can tell Bubba to quit speaking to you in a disrespectful manner.  I think he'd be surprised to hear you speak up!  There's no need to whine or cry--just tell him to quit in a calm voice and then walk out of the room. You are entitled to respect.  

Food is fuel.  You can find other means of soothing yourself.  Find an activity that you enjoy and that is fun.  Some people enjoy hobbies such as scrap-booking, others like to exercise.  I found that something that kept my hands busy so I could distract my mind from thinking about food was the best thing.

Missing food is part of the journey;  I'm sure Bubba has the same problem.  I myself was amazed to see how much time was spent on food in advertising.  No wonder we focus on food so much.  TV advertising is simply brainwashing us!  

You are both going through the same process.  Hang in there, Kid. 

Thank you MickeyDee. I certainly had no idea just how difficult this would be in the light of daily barrages of food commercials, my mother-in-law who seems content knowing that she can now eat anything she wants and we can't have it. Trying to laugh about it but today, it is really getting to me. She lives with my husband and I. I'm trying not to be upset with her. I've been running a consistent temp of 99.7 all day today and just feel really out of it. Trying to keep up with the fluids and protein. Abdomen and "stomach" have a burning sensation right now I can't explain. Is this part of it?

You might well have a slight fever--you just had surgery! If it gets worse, don't hesitate to call your doctor.  They want to know about problems.

Your MIL is being an asshat.  (Don't tell her I said that--but it's ok if you say that to yourself.) Just ignore her. 

You also need to be aware that post-op recovery from surgery includes getting over being anesthetized. Some of the poisons they use in surgery can take a couple of weeks to be flushed out of our systems.

Take a nap if you really get out-of-sort.  Your MIL won't disturb your nap, would she?  And if you think you're kind of out-of-it now, just wait until your body starts eliminating all the hormones stored in your fat cells--look out, world!  You and Bubba both have to contend with max menopause, and he's not going to be used to that at all.  Irritation, anger, mood swings--welcome to RNY post-op recovery.  

Who the hell is Bub?

My husband and I had surgery the same day. I was angry. So I would take with a grain of salt anything I said earlier.

you don't say anywhere what surgery you had. If it was the VSG,that burning feeling could be excess acid.mare you on a PPI,like Nexium? If not I would ask the surgeon for one. 

Take a lesson from BUB. You just worry about yourself and nurturing yourself and making sure you have what you need and quit worrying about him. Looks like he is taking care of himself just fine and you need to do the same. Take care of yourself first. If you don't,nobody will. Sad fact,but true. 

Hi Regina!

take a breath, love. It will help relax your nerves and also it will help your physical health. It's so hard to tell what's going on in someone else's mind, including Bub's and MIL, but hang in there. Don't be afraid to ask for a hand. 

From what I have read, it is normal to have feelings of regret after surgery. You're going to have ups and downs. I just had mine on 2/17 and find myself a little irratible one minute and euphorically happy the next. I also struggled with a fever for a couple days and it eventually went away. Cut yourself some slack. You just had a major surgery to fix one of your biggest life struggles. It's going to be q challenge, but you got this, doll! Try and take it as a compliment that Bub and MIL are forgetting to ask about you. It's because they know how strong you are, but don't be afraid to ask for help either! 

Speaking of food... Have you been hungry at all since you had the surgery? What kind of surgery did you have? What kind of powder are you using? I hated the protein powder during the preop diet. It was gross and all I did was talk about how gross it was lol. I got a different flavor and it's actually good. Even my boyfriend (who isn't on any diet or anything ) tasted it and thought it was delicious . It's Bariatric Fusion Cappucino. Maybe you'd like that better. It make all the difference for me. I mix it with a little almond milk and water and it's delish!

hang in there! Food tastes good, but healthy tastes better!

Thank you so much!!! My husband and I both had the RNY on 2/16. He's had a tough time finding a protein supplement that he can handle. Me, on the other hand seem to be struggling more on the mental side of this whole thing. I had no idea this would be so hard. I can't honestly say I've been "hungry" to speak of...just CRAVING! It's hard that I have my Mother-in-law in the mix who is eating her normal stuff whi*****ludes (corn dogs, cookies, etc.) Bub keeps telling me that this is working to make us stronger. Right now it doesn't feel that way. It feels like hell. I'm trying to breathe. I feel like I'm losing it. We've been using Body Fortress since we started the post op. I'm eating the popsicles, jello, broth. Nothing seems to satisfy the insatiable cravings.

Ugh - I always wince when couples want to go under the knife together.  Even though you had wls at the same time, your experiences from here on out can be very different.  I agree with the other suggestion to concentrate on yourself - and don't hesitate to ask for help.  Also - just like the rest of married life, don't expect anyone to read your mind.  If you don't say anything about hurting or needing anything, don't expect it to magically appear or be resolved.

Fluids are extremely hard, but dealing with dehydration is harder and dealing with kidney stones because of dehydration is agony.  Keep a cup in your hands at all times and sip constantly.  It can be anything wet and decaf.  Try different flavors and temperatures.  Something won't suck completely.  Stick with that, because nothing will be at all pleasurable for a while.  Whatever you need - ask MIL for.