Reality Check

I'm just getting started with all of my requirements for surgery. I'm hoping to be sleeved in July or August. Some days that seems like so far away but then other days I'm thankful to have time to really digest all of the information I can and prepare myself (as much as one can for the unknown) before then. Last night I took before pictures so I can document my journey through photographs. After the pictures were taken, I was afraid to look so I put it off until tonight. WOW! How depressing and eye opening. It's not like I didn't know I was overweight. I know how much I weigh, I know what size my clothes are, and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror now and again. It's funny how you can look in the mirror every day to get ready but not really be looking at yourself. I can't believe I'm the person in these photos. How did I let myself get so out of control? I know I'm doing something about it. I know I'm about to embark on a life-changing journey. But wow oh wow are these pictures a huge dose of reality.

Thank you for reading. Sometimes just knowing there are people reading this that can relate can make this process seem a little less lonely.

Nichole

this happened to me but one year post op. I hadn't looked at my before pictures at all or even at my progress. I don't know why, I guess I just didn't want to look at myself. A year later some one asks me to show them a before picture. I look through my phone images for the first time since before my surgery and I swear I was floored at how different I looked. The pictures I had in my phone were pics I looked at often and had for a long time. Its like I had body dismorphia where I saw my body as smaller than it was. If you had told me some one broke into my phone and photo shopped all those pics I would have believed them because they looked nothing like what I remember. I was truly truly blind to my weight and appearance. I am still dumb struck because the way I look 100lbs lighter is how I thought I looked back then. I would suggest to pre ops the consider not looking at highest weight pics until a year post op because at some point you will fall off the wagon and having that secret weapon will get you right on track real real fast.

I wanted to add that any one who does have diagnosed body dismorphia or similar psychiatric disorder, please be careful because I can see how this can make that situation worse. This is all about mental and physical health and happiness. Be kind to your self and love yourself first and foremost

I can completely identify with this. I was always *shocked* when I saw pictures of myself at my heaviest. I don't think I ever felt like that person in the pictures was really me. It's weird now, because I feel more like myself now than I ever did at 323 pounds - even though I've never been this weight in my adult life!

It's fantastic that you're doing research and preparing now for your post-surgery life. I think my pre- (and post-) op research has been a big part of my post-op success so far - seeing from real people what works and best practices for success (and sometimes, what not to do!). You're right when you say it's life-changing; it is, in the best possible way. :) Good luck to you!

In a few months after your surgery, you will be glad you have those pics.  You aren't alone - pre-op, I could have written the same post.

What was also interesting to me is that all of my mirrors were from the chest up, no full length mirrors.  Talk about convenient denial!

Congrats on starting your journey.  I am hoping to have surgery about the same time as you.  I was looking at the before and after photos on the site and thinking about how inspirational they are.  I was wondering if I even wanted to take some pics.  I think I will take some especially for myself.

I am currently at my highest weight.....so high that I don't know what it is.  I remember seeing a pic last 4th of July.  I had two thoughts: 1) I am seriously short lol (5' 2") & 2) I have gotten huge.  I have been what is now considered super obese mostly my entire life.  We have pics where I have a big baby booty in diapers I swear.  I think when you are big for so long, no one is shocked when they see you fat one day whereas I have family members who it seems they woke up chubby one day and it comes out of nowhere.

I plan to keep some pics and also atleast one pair of pants I can fit now so I can see how far I have come when I do start.  I am ready to start living life more an enjoying the simple things like a walk in the park or riding a rollercoaster again.

Thank you all for responding. I appreciate all of your kind words and experience. As hard as the pictures are to see, I am glad I have them and I know I'll be even more grateful when I can put them beside my after photos.

Nichole