Pre-surgery worries

hello, 

scheduled for surgery in 2 days. I'm so nervous. My biggest problem is I have the most unaccepting family. I haven't even been able to tell my father. They do play a huge role in my life but I can't speak with them about it because they constantly make fun of people who do this. Also doesn't help that I'm only 21 so they think they can still make all my decisions for me even though I do live on my own. Just need some advice for upcoming birthdays and family functions how can I avoid them notcing? 

Well the only way you can keep them from noticing that you've lost massive amounts of weight is to not lose the weight.. and that's not really viable :)  

Instead, I'd suggest that you add a therapist to your team and work on figuring out better ways to deal with your family.  

Well obviously, but I've already lost over 15 pounds and they know i'm on a diet.. Its not that I wanna hide the weight loss, I just need to avoid the eating in front of them without any questions.

That doesn't sound like it will be possible.  So your best bet is to pick a script that works for you and use it to reply every single time that someone comments or questions.  Then change the subject immediately to something else.  Eventually, if you practice this tactic long enough, it will get easier for you, and your family will get the point that it's a topic which is not up for discussion.  

For example:

Family member: asks or comments about how you're eating.  

You: Yeah, this is how I prefer to eat right now.  How about that local sports team?  (Or "how about the latest Dancing with the Stars episode?" or whatever subject change you pick.)  

Do this EVERY SINGLE TIME.  And eventually it'll sink in that this is not a topic you're going to discuss with them.

Okay that sounds like I can do that thank you! I'm just so nervous.

Best wishes on your weight loss surgery. 

As Gwen said I'd start working with a therapist to help with the family issues.

Not going to say don't bother telling him till after that a really big personal choice but ummm well I personally wouldn't... added stress of arguing whether you are making a good choice based on lack of information and education about weight loss surgery (I'm guessing him making fun of people who had WLS is based on that and not being a ;) poop head)... anyway your choice but generally people come around when they personally know someone who has had WLS versus my sister's cousin's hairstylist's dog groomer who had THAT surgery. 

You will probably have to tell him at some point or they will worry you have cancer or are on drugs or something because of the rapid weight loss. 

At parties, holidays... some tips: http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2013/11/eggfa ces-10-tips-for-surviving-holidays.html

Hope they help. Check in and let us know all is well. Good vibes & prayers for speedy healing.

~Michelle "Shelly"

Thats the problem! He will argue with me and he gets extremely angry. I just feel like I can't deal with the added stress right now. But thanks for the article! Appreciate the advice. 

I don't know how to keep them from noticing.  Perhaps you'd do better to learn how to set and maintain healthy boundaries.

Just tell them you are no longer eating carbs and are cutting back on fats. Head straight for the protein!

 I always jump ahead and think what would be the worst case scenario? That they all find out? Well, there's not much they can do then anyway! If they tease you, you can just tell them their triple chin is wobbling and you didn't want that to happen to you! Lol :-p

It would be helpful for you to work with a therapist.  Family issues can be difficult and after you've had your surgery, it is important that you're able to deal with them in a non-food way.  WLS post-op can be an emotional time of ups/downs and mix in family issues, it would be good for you to have someone to help you.  

All the best to you with your surgery in just two days, and a speedy recovery.  Please post updates.