How did you tell your kids about surgery?

I'm still a few months out from having surgery, but I'm trying to prepare for what I will tell my 11 & 13 year old girls about WLS. I'm not someone who is planning to tell very many people.  Any tips?  Advice?  What worked for you?

My kids were younger than yours when I had surgery.  

I think it depends on their maturity level.  If my kids were that age, I would explain to them that I've struggled with my weight for years and are concerned about medical conditions that might (or have) happened.  I would let them know that you have decided to have weight loss surgery and have selected an excellent surgeon.  You are doing this because you want to be healthy for yourself and both of them.  If they are worried or upset, I'd tell them the name of your surgeon and that he/she is excellent.  I'd probably have their OH profile up on your computer so they can read about him/her.  I would let them know that you have done lots of research on the surgery too.

Assure them that this is your decision and you want their support.  If there is something that they enjoy doing that you can't do now, let them know you look forward to doing it together.

Hi there!

I told my 14, 11 and 7 year old that I was going to have WLS and that I was doing it for myself so that I could be healthy and happy .... My older 2 were fine asked a few questions ... My 7 year old cried ... Only because I was going to be away from him for a week.  I also have an almost 5 yr old who I didn't tell ... I just told her I was going to see a doctor ... She knew I was on a special diet before ... She saw my incisions after ... I told her the doctor had to check my tummy out ..... She is a very talkative kid and I didn't want the whole town knowing ... I live in a small town of 3000 .... This seems to have worked out ok so far!

Good luck with your journey!

Janet

I actually just told my 11 year old daughter and 12 year old son today that I have an appointment tomorrow. They just asked how much it would cost, and I told them that my insurance pays for it. My daughter asked "why?". I explained that I wanted to play with them more outside and jump on the trampoline longer, etc. I told them that I wanted to feel better. They know that my health has gotten worse over the years. I'm always making them eat good foods, and I do too, but I eat late at night and I love sweets! I told them I need a doctor to help me get on track and to achieve this goal. Their only reply was.... But you won't be "fluffy momma" anymore. LOL! so cute! I'm around 230 lbs, 5'6. I have my first appointment tomorrow, and haven't made the decision yet to choose the sleeve or the lapband. I'm just beginning this, and I don't want to keep anything from my kids. I asked them not to talk about it at school. They said "ok mom". I trust them because I have taught them the importance of keeping things private in your family. I told them I wasn't sure when it would be happening. My daughter asked to go the appointment with me. I told her "no" of course. She wants to be a nurse when she grows up and enjoys medical talk and drawings that are scientific in nature. She is excited to see what materials I bring home. She is ready to take care of me... so sweet.

I told my 14 year old daughter once I was approved and had a surgery date for the next month.  I explained that even tho I had been successful in losing weight in the past, I could never keep it off and in fact would gain even more back.  The surgery was a tool to help keep that happening in the future although I would always have to be careful with what I eat.  My husband showed her a youtube video of the procedure. 

This was her primary question: "Does this mean we can never go out to eat, again?"    She didn't express fear about surgery risk but wondered how long I would be in the hospital.  Over time, she has had questions about what would change at home because of the surgery. Kids want to know how they will personally be affected. 

I am pretty private, as well.  We discussed that this is my personal health business and it wasn't her place to tell other people. I also told her that there are people out there that think this is a terrible thing to do.  However, my doctors all thought this was absolutely the best route for me. 

Good luck!  I think kids, especially your 13 year old, are very well aware how the extra weight so negatively affects us.  I bet both of them will want to be supportive. 

~Shel

Don't tell them anything right now.  Be as vague as possible and don't make a big deal about it so they don't worry and fret about it.  Girls this age are particulaly emotional as a rule. 

My son was 11 when I had my DS and I was very casual about it.  I told him the weekend before that I was going in the hospital to fix something - no big deal - and I was coming home by Thursday and I expected him to help more around the house when I was sore and healing.  I specifically did not want him visiting me in the hospital and seeing me in such a weakened state.  I was his rock and I wanted that impression to stay with him.  When I got home, I gave the full explanation, complete with pictures and showed him my incision scar.  He thought it was "cool" to see it all after the fact, but he never had a day of worry over it.

My kids were 15 and 18. I told them a few days before surgery that I was having surgery to help me lose weight. I didn't go into detail, but I needed my older kid to transport my younger one to school and had to make sure that her schedule would allow for that. I had hubby text them both periodically through the day to keep them updated and also asked them to keep the surgery private, it isn't anyone's business outside of family and very close friends. I called them when I was awake and alert so they could hear my voice and KNOW that mom was fine.