Losing Friends?

Stellar advice! I can see how dominating all activities and conversations with weight loss chatter could be taxing on a relationship. I'll be working extra hard on maintaining our friendship at least until my wls honeymoon period is over haha. Thanks! 

I didn't lose any friends after surgery.

I do believe there is some jealousy when you lose the weight. I also think they were just friends we ate with that was all we pretty much had in common. 

I also feel we get stronger and have been treated badly from some people we do a spring cleaning of friends and get rid of the bad ones.

I haven't lost any friends but my bff is no longer someone I'd call my bff. 

Part of it is because he had been completely non supportive of my efforts. But a larger part is that his life has completely changed in the last year (as mine has) and I don't think we've changed in compatible ways. 

I haven't lost any friends, per say, but have chosen to limit my association with certain people who haven't been supportive of my efforts.  One neighbor of mine continulosy calls me a "skinny *****". this same person tried to talk me out of surgery several times, so I choose not to socialize with her anymore. 

The way I see it - I worked hard to qualify for the sirgery and have continued to work hard to get to achieve my goals. I don't have time or energy for people in my life who aren't supportive. 

I have a little insight on the other side of this. I had a friend who lost a lot of weight. She didn't have surgery but that is besides the point. We are still technically friends but...we rarely talk or see each other. After she lost her weight, she actually made me feel very uncomfortable because she was constantly talking about her weight loss, what she was eating and how good and healthy it was, and the worst part, was that I felt she was constantly trying to pressure me into joining her weight loss plan. She did so well that she was selling the stuff. I felt like she became more of a salesperson than a friend. Sometimes it felt like she was always showing off that she could do it, when I couldnt. I know that part of the reason I felt uncomfortable was ME. I couldnt deal with having to face my own eating and weight loss issues when I wasn't ready to. I couldnt deal with feeling guilty to eat something unhealthy when she was eating soooo healthy. I felt bored when we were getting together because a big part of it had been going out to eat and now she didn't want to go. I was VERY happy for her and her new healthy life. I was never jealous of her weight loss at all. There were other things at play. I hate it that we were so close and that it faded away. I know it was partly MY issues with MYSELF that made me feel uncomfortable being around her, and I also know it was partly HER fault for being a little bit insensitive to someone else and constantly trying to pressure me to lose weight when at that time I didnt want to. I think people lose friends for a variety of reasons. I think it is just too complicated to completely understand. I have had my surgery and I have been losing weight. I think I will learn from this and try to make sure to be sensitive to others around me so as to avoid making other people feel uncomfortable around me. I don't know if our friendship can be fixed at this point but maybe I can just try to make sure to keep my other friends! 

Thanks for your input from the other side of the coin! I personally will make every effort not to throw my new lifestyle in my friends' faces. Thanks!

I have really appreciate reading this entire discussion.

My best friend is bigger than I was pre surgery. I am 7 mos post op and she barly started being distant. She was really rude with me about plastic surgery. She was gonna go with me to help me out to mexico for plastics. The other day she told me shes not going and I told her that's fine. She than said I had some sort of mental problem because I'm too skinny and I look sick and now I want plastics to be skinner. I was so hurt it took everything to not cry. I just feel I worked really hard at this and I'm rewarding myself with plastics. I don't feel I'm too skinny but I do think if you compare me to pre surgery yes I'm skinny. My bmi is still over weight. I hope our friendship doesn't change because I would really miss her. No matter how excited I am about losing weight I just wont discusse with her anymore. I can loose any friend and be ok but I don't want to loose her. Hope your life is filled with good friends that support you.

I hope that you guys can get your friendship back to normal soon. Sounds like heart to heart talk time! I hope all goes well!