weight gain

I need to start over. I had survey in 2002. I have kept between 150 and 170 the whole time. I have gained 30 lbs in the last 10 months. 

I lost my 18 year old son in march 2014 and let myself go because of severe depression. Please help me start over. I can't even remember where to start. Liquid 2 weeks...pureed 2 weeks...and then solids???? Help if anyone can. I have to concentrate on getting back on track in honor of my Cody. 

Thank you all

First, let me start off by saying i'm am very sorry for your lost. Its amazing that you made this post my first day back to OH asking the same question. I, too had a great loss November 12, 2013 of my Mom due to stage 4 lung and liver. Advice? i'm actually trying my fitness pal and i cut out breads and carbs. I am looking for advice as well. Since Mom passed, i have  put on 55 lbs. 

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. That had to be devastating. They may have bereavement groups in your community or speaking to a therapist can help as well. It may be good to have help to deal with the pain and depression. 

My suggestion with the food is you don't need to go that far back to get on track, just remember the rules. Protein first meals, get minimum 60-80g protein a day, and drink 64oz water. My Doc always says "Protein first, then veggies and if you have room a little fruit or carbs(starchy)" Maybe go back to adding a protein drink a day if you need it to get the protein. Myfitnesspal is a good idea, even just for a little while to get back on track.

Come on here for support everyday. There is a post called "What are you eating today RNYers?" that I find very helpful. Gives you ideas too.  If there is a local support group too go to it. Get all the support you can get. You are in a very difficult time of your life, but good for you for wanting to move forward. You did a great job keeping off the weight for many years, you can do this!

So very sorry about your son.

Going back to liquids etc. wouldn't really help; that was for post-op healing. You need to remember what you ate a few months after that when the weight was going well. Protein, veggies, small amounts of complex carbs. 

The loss of a child is huge, as you know. I am so sorry!! I would keep a food journal. I was told 60 - 80 grams of protein per day, 42 - 64 ounces of fluids per day and under 50 grams of carbs per day. Once I started paying attention more to limiting carbs, the weight started coming off again like it used to (I am only five months post op). Maybe a nutritionist could help. Also, exercise no matter how little it is. This will help with the depression also. My lifelong friend lost her daughter and it was devastating for all of us so my heart goes out to you. I know when my sister died it was so hard to be motivated and to care about anything. Rejoice in your successes no matter how small and be forgiving of those times when you don't make the choices you wish you had. It is an honor to Cody to get back on track. It sounds like he was proud of you for your efforts. Also, even though you have regained 30 pounds back, you have recognized that the time to do something is now and not when you have regained even more so good for you!!

I'm very sorry for your loss - I sincerely hope that you're seeing a therapist to help out with your grieving and depression.  

As for getting back on track - you don't need to start over!  You've only regained 30 pounds, not all the weight you lost, right?  And the best news is that you've done this before which means you CAN do it again.  I'd suggest that you start by tracking every single thing you put in your mouth using something like MyFitnessPal.  That'll give you information about what you're eating and what you need to change.  

From there, it's a matter of getting back to your basics.  I'll share mine, yours might be slightly different.  

1. Prioritize protein and water
2. Deprioritize carbs, especially the refined and processed ones
3. Make the most of healthy fats
4. Eat three meals a day with no snacks
5. Avoid liquid calories (breakfast protein shake is the exception)
6. Weigh portions
7. Eat mindfully and with no distractions aside from real live people
8. Move as much as possible
9. Weigh myself daily
10. Be kind to myself

Remember, though, that you CAN do this.  Have faith in yourself :)

Gwen,

I love when you write this little list.  I am going to print then cut and paste on my little important book.

Thanks and Best,

Layla

You're welcome!  

Wow,  be kind, loving, forgiving, and patient with yourself.  I am so sorry for your loss.  Just do our post-op lifestyle soft, nice, and easy - Remember lots of water,  your vitamins & supplements then protein first, vegs 2nd, and if there is still hungry space in your lil stomach,  fruits  . . .  and complex carbs (or not).

(((HUGS)))

Layla

Shelley and Yangie -- so sorry for your losses.  I know they are monumental - I still grieve over the loss of my husband 12 years ago.  It gets better, but it never goes away.  But I dwell on the happy times we shared.

As far as restarting - others above have given good advice.  I make it a point to post my menu in MFP the night before, so I know what I'll be eating the next day, and make sure I'm meeting my plan guidelines.  And I always have water or tea right by my side.

Good luck to both of you getting back on track.  Stay strong.