WLS personality

Thanks everyone for the advice and words from experience. I truly appreciate it.

Back in 2007 I lost a bunch of weight after my husband died.  I turned in to a real A-HOLE.  I am trying this time around to not be like that.  I've learned a lot in the years 2009-2014 when I put on all the weight I lost plus some.  

I appreciate the honesty. I am just really perplexed by this and I certainly hope I have not lost a friend.

My center required me to attend a session on the emotional effects of weight loss surgery.  They had speakers and also interviews with people that we watched on a TV screen.  These issues are common and something that we need to be prepared for.  It is difficult to keep a marriage together when there were already problems and then one partner changes drastically.

There is a book called the Emotional First Aid Kit, A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery.  It is a gift that I buy for friends who are having surgery.  I have read it many times and turned to it when I was experiencing things like negative reactions from family and friends. 

People have called me months or years later to thank me for giving them that resource and have told me how the advise in the book helped them to deal with marriage, family, friends as well as things like sticking to exercise and not regaining.

As the others say. Especially Valerie!

For some people, being obese brings very low self-esteem and that can mean taking second place in relationships, not putting yourself forward, settling for relationships which are at best second-best. For people like that, weight loss may reverse the low self esteem. Depending on the individual, this increased self-confidence may either make them go too far to the other extreme and they may in time "re-adjust" and be the person you always thought they were! For others, the "real" self which emerges may be one you don't like!

But I agree with the suggestion of responding wirh humour to make your point!

A lot of us get a little "full of ourselves" after losing weight (including myself). For most of us we do settle down and get back to reality. 

If I were you, I would just nod and smile when she is giving you advice and then change the subject. Hopefully she will get the message that you are not listening.