I'm pre-op but a little scared

Hi,

I'm new here so I thought I would give a little background. I'm 47 yrs old, I got up to 324lbs at 5'9". I have many medical issues. Although I have always been heavy for my weight, I was never obese until I got hurt and could never go back to the physical job I had before. I am now a desk jockey and in the first year I shot up over 100lbs. It has been 8 years since that injury, and 6 years ago I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and had to have three stents installed in my heart. I have arthritis in ALL of my joins and back, so I am in pain all of the time. I can barely walk 100 yards without having to sit down due to the pain. Over the pas year and a half, I have been in the hospital 12 times, due to A-fib and chest pain.

The Drs say that I have to have WLS or I may not be here in a very short time. The Dr also said that the RNY procedure is the best option for me, due to my medical issues. I guess it has a better success rate for eliminating the diabetes and other malodies I am afflicted with.

They are fast tracking the procedure for me. This is good and bad for me. My insurance only requires one visit to a nutritionist, which I already did, and a psych eval, which I am waiting to get the results back now. Once those two things are finished, I can schedule my date. They are trying to get me in before New Years. Maybe the week between Christmas and New Years, however, they won't schedule anything until they get the results from the psych eval. They also had me do a stress test to evaluate my heart. I could't finish the treadmill portion, they had to chemically induce me.

Although I know I have to do this for my best bet at living a long full life going forward, I am on an emotional roller coaster. One minute I am so excited about the "possibilities" my new life will bring, and the next, I think of all of the food I currently enjoy, that I can never eat again. Then comes the fear of complications or even death during the procedure. I am married and have an 11 year old daughter. I don't want to orphan her and widow my wife. But then again, I will do that anyway if I don't change the path I am on now.

Does everyone go through these fears and concerns? I want to do this for me and my family, but I am scared.

Sorry for rambling... Just typed as it came to me.

Thanks for sharing your story.  You sound just like me before I had my surgery.  I was 366 pounds and suffered from chronic leg and back pain. As I gained weight, I developed an irregular heart beat and had to be monitored for that.  After a while, I just got tired of being tired and decided that I needed to do something about my weight. Like you, I'm married with young children that I don't want to leave behind.  

In the months before my surgery, I kept changing my mind about whether or not surgery was a good idea. A part of me felt that I could make changes and lose weight on my own. I've lost weight in the past, but the problem is that I kept falling back into bad habits and I would regain what I lost plus extra.  

I've been in your shoes so I know how you feeling.  It's normal to be nervous about the surgery and having complications, possibly dying from the procedure, etc.  But think of it this way - are you really living now?  No matter how much I tried to convince myself that I was living, my reality was that at 366 pounds I was only existing.  I did a lot of research about bariatric surgery death rates, and they are extremely low. There's a very small risk of dying on the operating table.  

My advice to you is to not focus on what can happen during surgery. Think about what will happen if you don't have surgery or lose weight.  Keep this at the forefront when making your decision.  I have the RNY surgery on 8/26 and although I was nervous as hell, I don't regret it. I would have this surgery 100 times over if I needed to.  

I thank you for replying so quickly. Thank you for your encouraging words. Thanks for letting me know that I am not the only one who is experiencing these fears.

You are right. I am only existing and ask myself often what the point of it is. I am depressed all of the time. I'm tired, and would rather just lay in bed than get up and work. (I work from home from a laptop and phone. I can work from my bed if I want to, however, I force myself to get up and go downstairs every morning to work from the office.)

I have contemplated WLS for many years, but always thought the Lap Band procedure would be for me, because I know it is reversible. Maybe the Dr is right though. I need something with better results over the long haul. 

It's completely normal to be afraid of the unknown. I was afraid of the surgery going bad, not being able to enjoy the foods I love, all kinds of things. So many questions and thoughts ran through my mind leading up to the surgery; it was crazy!  

I considered the Lapband at first for the same reasons you did. After talking to my surgeon, she helped me to see that RNY would give me the best results considering my size.  You're in same weight range that I was starting out, so I definitely recommend RNY over the Lapband. Don't get me wrong - the lapband will give you results, but not nearly as much as the RNY or gastric sleeve.  

Be sure to ask your surgeon questions and make an informed decision.  As someone who's recently had the surgery (8/26/14), I can tell you that it's definitely worth it.  You don't regret having the surgery - that I can promise you!

I understand that you are happy with your decision to have the surgery, however, as with all things, there are some negatives. What negatives have you experienced? Does it really mess with your mind that you can't eat the things you want?

Don't get me wrong. Eating is a very social thing in my upbringing. It is family time and a time to reflect on the day. I grew up on steak and potatoes and lots of veggies. I am not a sweet eater for the most part. I love Oreo cookies with peanut butter on them. I'll eat 6 or 8 of them in a sitting, but then I am good for a few weeks until I get a craving again. I assume this will be something I can never have again. Not that this is the end of the world, but it will be something I will miss.

Will I be able to eat a good juicy steak again? And being that this is the holiday season and on my mind, what about a turkey dinner with the trimmings? I understand the portions will have to be small, but can I eat these things once I am healed up and back on solid food?

I hate the unknown! 

Thanks for your help, and keep up the good work on losing your weight. It looks like you have lost lots. ;-)

For the first month I was an emotional wreck.  There were times that I regretted having WLS at first because it meant not enjoying a lot of the foods I love.  As an emotional eater, that's been a  HUGE obstacle for me to overcome.  Three months into this journey, I can say that I'm finally starting to adjust to my new way of eating but it isn't easy.  The problem is that surgery fixes our bodies, but it doesn't fix our minds.  That's where hard work and commitment comes in.  In all honestly, there are times now that I wish I could eat whatever I want. But then I start thinking about all the problems it caused and how it resulted in me weighing 366 pounds.

There will be a period of time where you'll only be able to eat liquid and soft foods.  My surgeon had me on this stage for about 10 weeks, but it depends on your doctor's recommendations. It was one of the hardest things I've done, but I got through it.  Most surgeons recommend avoiding excess amounts of carbs and sugar because it can cause weight gain and/or dumping. The good news is that once you have surgery, it's highly likely that you won't crave the bad foods much (at least that's been my experience). Like you, steak is one of my favorite foods in the world. I actually enjoyed some steak a couple of weeks ago; however, I was satisfied with a very small portion.  In fact, my husband and I were able to split a steak at Outback and had leftovers to take home!  

My advice to you is to enjoy what you like in moderation.  After surgery, you won't be able to eat as much and you may not even crave the foods you think you'll miss. For example, I loved Pepsi before surgery but I don't even crave it now.  I actually prefer water over anything else (can't believe I just said that lol).   Be sure to do your research on surgeons and surgical procedures so that you can make the best decision for you. 

Thank you. I can empathize with you about being an emotional eater.  That must be hard. I am lucky that my weight gain and eating was not most of my problem. My issue was the lack of movement. Also portion control is a big thing for me.  Before being hurt I burned off all of the food I ate because I had a very physical job.

After my injury I still had the same appetite but I couldn't burn the calories and I ballooned up about 100-110lbs the first year and even more since then. I fully expect this surgery to "cure" my problems. I also think that the full feeling I will experience will make me eat less.

I seriously forget to eat. It's when my blood sugar falls low that I get dizzy and have to eat something. Except for dinner. That's when I eat the most. I know that isn't the right way but I believe this will force me to eat the proper portions at the right times of day and I will become healthy.

One thing I forgot to mention and haven't yet discussed with my surgeon. I now take 13 meds in the AM and 11 at night. They are for a range of things. A-fib meds, cholesterol meds, high blood pressure, anxiety, and diabetes meds to name a few. How will this affect me after surgery? Will I still be on these meds? or will I be med free? I have seen on some other posts where meds cause problems, especially if they are large pills. What do you do to overcome this if I still have to take them post-op?

Oh yeah, I also forgot to mention that I have obstructive sleep apnea too! Yes, I am a poster child for this type of procedure.

I saw an article in a magazine when waiting in a doctors office that asked; Are you a candidate for WLS? It asked many questions about the health issues you have. Including; Do you have diabetes? Do you have high blood pressure? Are you more than 100lbs over weight? Etc... I checked all but one or two of the boxes, and those were questions for women. LOL

Sleep apnea is a common side effect of obesity. Most of my weight gain in the last few years was due to having 2 children within a year and inactivity.  I gained about 110 pounds after the birth of my 5 and 6 year old.  

When you meet with your surgeon, he/she will ask about what medications you're taking and give you instructions about how to take them. The good news is that after surgery you'll start to lose weight rapidly, and you won't need most of your meds anymore!  If you still meds after surgery, your surgeon may switch you to either liquid or chewable meds.  

Mike, with diabetes and high cholesterol, the VERY BEST form of WLS for you would be the Duodenal Switch. I'm guessing your surrent surgeon doesn't DO this procedure, hence his suggestion that the RNY would be the 'best' for you.

Please, for your own sake, research ALL your options before you go under the knife. It's MUCH easier to delay surgery a little while and get the right surgeon and procedure for YOU than to undergo a revisions a few years down the road.