Has anyone had their husband not approve of their choice to have surgery?
I have an excellent marriage (we've been together for 17 years) and my husband was completely against the surgery. He wasn't worried that I would leave him, wasn't a stuffer or anything mean or diabolical. He was simply scared that I would die. He was used to me as obese -- he didn't see it. He just loves me. He was so scared that I would die that he was largely unsupportive -- although he did try to be. Obesity is so insidious -- and it's consequences sneak up on you. He is a naturally thin person -- so he really believed that I could lose weight without taking the risk of surgery.
Frankly, I believe that you shouldn't go to the hardware store to buy milk. Since I knew my husband didn't really understand and couldn't be the best support, I looked elsewhere for encouragement. Most of all, I worked on myself during the pre-op stage, examined my relationship with food and prepared to be my own best friend. I made it clear that I was having the surgery, that I was saving my life and that I expected him to be supportive around me. Honestly, he tried his best. Our epiphany moment was actually minutes before being wheeled into the operating room. I jokingly told him that I was soon going to be the wife he always dreamt of. He looked at me earnestly and said, "You already are! Please tell me you aren't doing this on my account! We can still back out right now!" I told him that I was very unhappy being obese. From that moment on he was completely on my team.
Now, 10.5 months later, my husband has taken this amazing journey with me. He has watched me become able to fully participate in things that I was never able to do before. He even carried me over the threshold for the first time on our last anniversary. My husband sees how much healthier I am and readily admits he was just scared. He recently told me that he was sorry he was scared and that he's proud I was courageous enough to have the surgery.
"What you eat in private, you wear in public." --- Kat
Thank you for your post, It made me cry, it was so sweet. God bless you and your DH. My husband died suddenly just 6 months after my gastric sleeve surgery, and he was very supportive of me and my decision to have the surgery. He was not afraid, and always trusted my decisions (because I am a nurse, and he was not in the medical field). I had lost over half my goal weight when he died, and he was very proud of the progress. We were married for 37 years.
Wishing you all the best, Carol
count your blessings!!!! At goal weight. I am 5 ft 3. 
Well, he was right about it with the band, you don't want that. I had mine removed this past summer and am almost ready for the sleeve.
I began this time at 377lbs, after regaining all of my lost weight with the band and then some. I am now at 358, need to lose a couple more pounds then away I go to surgery.
If your spouse is not supporting you, I would wonder why. What is he afraid of? If he still cannot wrap his head around it, after you do your homework on the different types of WLS and make your decision of what type is best for YOU, then do it for yourself anyway! This isn't about him, it's about YOU. And you can be a better partner to HIM when you feel better about yourself and are healthier.
All posts that I make on this site, any forum, are a result in my having experience and caring for anyone having to go through life as an obese person. If you have medical issues, please see your doctor for medical advice.
Karen
I am 5'10" and was 298 when I started this journey. My husband was not supportive of it. He thought I could do it on my own. I went to a seminar and brought the information to him. I would save money and I was actually at a higher risk for death with my morbid obesity than the actual complication rate of WLS. Basically I brought him the statistics and he got on board better. He has been as suportive as he can be. I was going to tell him that I was going to do it without him, but I didn't have to.
