What to tell my spouse?

Hi all,

I'm committed to getting a sleeve and was planning on getting it in early January, but agreed to wait a few months because my hubs is totally against it and thinks I can lose weight by going low-carb with him.  Marriage is compromise, so I gave him a few months but am still going to have the surgery.  He is concerned that my "quality of life" (his words) will be terrible after surgery.  What can I tell him?  Any ideas will help!  Thanks!

With the sleeve, your stomach is smaller...that's it....

Barring no complications, your quality of life will be the same, only you're eating less, and you can still do low-carb with him.

Take your husband to a seminar with you. Perhaps if he has complete understanding of the BENEFITS of the weightloss he'll be more supportive. 

Oh my...my quality of life increased 100 fold after my sleeve surgery and the weight loss. I could do sooo much more on every front. Had so much more energy, all of my co-moridities were resolved. No more sleep apnea, no more high blood pressure, was able to get off of cholesterol medication, etc. 

That was the BEST decision I ever made for myself. 

I lost more than 110 lbs...but I still never quite made it to goal. My surgery weight was 273 and I got down to somewhere around 160...probably a little less. I wanted to get down to about 130-135. In the past couple of years I've put about 40 lbs back on...and that was totally my fault not because my sleeve stopped working. I can eat a LOT more now than I could in the beginning, but I do still have restriction. My metabolism however is shot...and I can't seem to lose a lb now to save my life.  I'm scheduled for Nov 28th to revise to the DS which I consider to be the 2nd part of the whole procedure. 

Anywho, I hope you can get him on board. I don't know how much you have to lose but yes, most people can lose some weight going ultra low carb...but the chances of keeping it off are about slim to none. I played that game for years. 

Best of luck to you....like I said...the VSG was the best thing I ever did for myself and my health and would do it again in a heartbeat!!

Well I am banded not sleeved but my quality of life is indescribably improved.  I am slim, active, able to play with my grandchildren, climb hills, trek, run etc etc etc.  I enjoy my social life more as I feel good about myself and I eat just like all my slim friends! Good food in small quantities. 

Take him to a WLS seminar?  Print off information for him to read?  Give him a copy of Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies?  Education is key to acceptance, I think, so that's what I'd try.  Is there a support group that you can take him to?  

I agree that marriage is compromise, but, for me, that compromise ends at my body and my health.  So I'm glad you're going through with it.  

Before having my surgery, I had very low quality of life.  My health was lousy and I was miserable being morbidly obese.  Having any WLS procedure alone won't change your life, however, losing weight and improving my health did change my life thus my quality of life. 

Educate him so he can understand the benefits and why you are moving forward having the surgery. 

My SO was totally anti-WLS too.  I told him I had tried to lose weight before without success.  The process generally takes about six months and during that time I tried to "educate" him.  I told him losing weight was not the problem -- keeping it off was.  WLS was the tool I needed.

Yes, marriage is a compromise - for both sides.  You have to take care of yourself first.

I have no doubt you can lose some weight by going low-carb with your husband. The bigger questions are 1) can you lose as much as you need to? and 2) can you maintain that loss long-term?

People who are 50 pounds overweight have like a 25% chance of achieving both 1) and 2). If you're 100 or more pounds overweight, your odds drop to about 5%.

Most of us find our quality of life greatly improved by WLS. I doubt I'd be alive today had I not had my DS when I did. If I had managed to survive this long without WLS, I'd most likely be diabetic, on cholesterol meds, and in a wheelchair. Instead, my sugars are normal, my cholesterol runs around 100, and I can walk all day if I have to. (I prefer not to have to. *grin*) And---I still enjoy all the foods I loved pre-op, just not in massive quantities.

what about your "quality of life"now with a BMI of 51 does he think is so great. My.  BMI was higher than 51 and my quality of life was awful.