Getting depressed

As I type this, my surgery is a little over one month in the past and I am getting a little depressed. It didn't help that I was back in the hospital the weekend after I was released. The real problem I am having is with the eating process. I am 55 years old and I have to undo all those years of eating habits. Therein lies the problem and it is what I need advice. First I started with liquid/pureed foods and now I am on soft foods. Being on soft foods now gives me a limited choice of what I can eat. Question 1; I have never had to cut up my food into small bits before, any ideas on how I can remind myself/ remember to do that? Question 2, how can I remind myself to eat slower? Sometimes I can feel what ever I eat or drink go down and sometimes ( not all of the time but sometimes) it kinda hurts any way to prevent that? Thank you in advance.

Serve yourself from the kitchen.

Weigh or measure your food, cut it into tiny bites before you ever get to the table.

Put the food away before you go sit down to eat so you don't go back for more.

If you are eating foods that you don't need to cut, buy some baby spoons and use them.

As far as slowing down, I did not use a timer, but I did take a bit, set my fork or spoon down, chew and swallow completely, and then think about the next bite.

It is a learned behavior and will take some time.

Seriously, my husband can eat an 8 ounce steak in about 6-8 bites and in just a few minutes.

I cut my 3 ounces of steak into about 32 tiny bites, and take about 20 minutes to eat it.

I got used to my food cooling off before I could eat it all

I'm 5 weeks out with RNY.  I am also 56 1/2 years old.  I am in the same phase as you are, soft food.  I am weighing and measuring my food, I am only aloud 1/2 cup at a meal.  I tried steak and it was tender but did not agree with my stomach and that was the first time I got sick.  I ate beef jerky no problem.  Chicken, ground turkey in chili and fish are what I am adding back to my menu.  The size I cut my food up is a toss up.  I never know how small is small enough.  So I follow the Dr plan as best I can.  I try to focus on my eating/ chewing, when I am eating.  Good luck I am still struggling with this too. I still have a hard time with 1/2 cup filling me up but it really does. 

It will get better. It's hard in these first few weeks of phasing back into "normal" eating. It is a little overwhelming thinking so much about something that required little thought... when to eat, when to drink, when to take certain vitamins, when to take other vitamins, and the small bites and chewing and waiting to drink... for most of us within a few months it will be like you never lived any other way... it will become rote again. 

For awhile don't do anything besides eat when you eat... no TV, computer, reading just mindfully eat. Easy to get distracted and take too big a bite in, not enough chews, etc.

Cut yourself some slack... it took me 7 weeks or so till I felt not like a patient and somewhat normal again (LOL whatever normal is) and I didn't have to be readmitted so take one day at a time... or one meal at a time ;) and aim for better than the day before. 

Best to you. ~Michelle "Shelly"

P.S. Not sure if you are on any actual meds for depression but FYI to those that are that maybe reading as you lose weight those will need to be adjusted, also if you had a malabsorptive procedure that may factor in as well.

It is easier once you are on solid foods. Then I suggest you cut a small piece, put it in your mouth, put  your knife and fork down, chew, swallow, cut another piece and so on. That way you control the size of each piece and cannot eat fast.

i was 56 when I had surgery and know how hard it is to change after so long eating like a mechanical shovel. 

To answer question #1:  post a note or something to physically remind you to do it.  

For question #2:  I found a simple egg-timer worked best (one of those that has the and in it and looks like a tiny hour glass).  Time how fast you eat and space out the bites you take using that timer.  

It's a habit like anything else.  If you don't do it - your stomach will remind you why you should have.

Answering both of your questions.....

You won't have to cut your food up forever.  The further post-op you are, you won't have to.  However with that being said, you'll need to take smaller bites.  It took me a few times to learn this but getting something stuck will drill in your head that it is something you need to do.  Getting food stuck is miserable.  Taking small bites and chewing food really well is just a habit.  I still do that now and don't give it a second thought since it is an engrained habit now.

As far as depression, or feeling down, is normal.  After having surgery, we've lost that coping strategy of using food.  I went through it at about five weeks post-op and then periodically the first year.  After you see the results of improvement in your health and losing weight, you'll feel the results.

Depression and roller coaster feelings are very common because besides losing your coping tools your hormones are also going crazy with the weight loss and will for awhile.

Small bites is such a relative thing and hard to picture. I was told to cut my foods in pencil eraser size at first and then you can go a bit larger as you get farther out. It is so much a habit now that even tho I no longer have my lapband I still cut my food that way and chew till it's liquidy in my mouth. That alone helps me slow down but if you need a reminder on the table maybe get a small figureen or a toy that will remind you to slow down. I'd use a piggy myself but anything that will remind you is fine. Good luck, it takes 21 days to change a habit so keep at it you'll get there!