Keeping surgery a secret

Hi, 

i am new to this page, but have been scoping out posts and reading other peoples entries for a few weeks now.  

my job recently switched to Cigna insurance & according to their guidelines(and after calling,)  i should qualify for gastric bypass to be covered without it costing me anything.  I have been interested in this for quite some time, but i am really nervous.  I have not even started the process or anything yet, but i am really hoping someone out there can help me with some of my questions.

i work for a company where the HR person is basically the workplace DEVIL. she gossips all day and wants nothing nice for anyone.  i am very very very private and what is keeping me from going through with starting this whole process is that she will find out and tell everyone my business - whether it be legal or not. if i do go through with this, i plan on keeping it between myself and my sister and boyfriend. i have asked both of them to not tell anyone.  the girls i work with were all talking about how they know someone who has had the "fat girl surgery" and how it is the"easy way out."  i dont care if it is or isnt - its something i really want, but i want to do this all at my own speed and have privacy.  

i do not want anyone at work knowing anything, but i am curious if the higher up people in the company will end up finding out. does insurance give my employer this info ? do i have to ?  

i have a desk job where i am not required to do ANYTHING physical so i am HOPING to get this done and be back the next week or so and just play it off as me feeling ill and then really starting to "diet."  i sit alone in the back of the building so nobody can see what i am eating or doing, but i do see people when i walk in or go to the front for items.  

also, if anyone knows - i have been paying into aflac short term disability - if i did decide to take like a week or two, does my job find out what for? 

im really not nervous about things on the medical aspect, but im sad to say that im nervous about what people will say.  i have never been skinny. working out has been awful and i lose NOTHING - even with dieting. 

i am just hoping i can find out if my job will end up finding out because of paperwork and that kind of stuff. 

thank you

Your medical information is 100% protected by HIPAA. If she was to violate those laws she would be fired in a heartbeat. Your insurance company is not going to report anything to your employer.  From what i know about aflac I beleive they just pay you directly a certain $$ for each day.  Unless you need to to apply for a leave under FMLA there is no reason to divuldge this information to your employer at all. If you have paid time off just go on a 2 week vacation ;)  I would recommend the 2 weeks off. I have a desk job too but there is no way i could come back after 1 week i was still so tired and napping everyday. A full day at work would have been impossible. I can see coming back at 3 weeks barring any complications.

I thought medical ethics and being bound to confidentiality was only legally binding for medical professionals. HR people are just office staff, however high their company position. They would be unprofessional to spread private information but would not be breaking any law. This comes up quite often on here and every time, people working in medicine/law/HR post to say medical confidentiality rules do not apply to HR personnel. 

You are correct. I used to work HR in a medical clinic. There's a clear distinction between HR duties and medical professionals who are bound under HIPAA laws. Keep in mind also, HR laws are different in every state, so take what I and others tell you here with a grain of salt. You can find more specifics about labor laws online at your state's labor force site, and the federal HIPAA FAQs are here.

The main thing we had to do to be in compliance was keep a medical file for each employee separate from their main employee file. That was in case someone needed to access employment files, i.e. an I9 audit, who didn't really need access to the medical files. Many companies do have internal policies about keeping employees' personal info private, and many HR professionals would be in violation of internal policy if they were so indiscrete and unprofessional as to discuss ANY of an employee's private information with anyone who was not on a need to know basis. For example, I could share an employee's past disciplinary files with a new supervisor, or discuss their medical history with their supervisor--but only to the point to inform the supervisor the employee had the proper paperwork on file to have a doctor's excuse for an absence. It was frankly none of my business WHY the employee was out.

It is sufficient for your doctor to state you are having surgery and need so many weeks/days off should you need to apply for FMLA. I don't recall if the FMLA forms require them to specify exactly what type of surgery but if they need to get more specific I'm sure your surgeon's office knows exactly how vague they can be. I would have accepted anything as long as it was a legitimate note/form/letter from a real doctor. (We did have the case once where an employee forged a note to cover an absence. I simply called the doctor's office to verify the note was legit. They do keep records of who they give notes to, and that is all they can verify.) Now, if your HR person called the doctor's office to try to get details out of them (say you turned in a letter with the doctor's info on it), that would be way out of line, and your doctor's office would be violating the law if they should give out any information about your condition. 

If you feel more comfortable simply taking your PTO and going in shortly after surgery, my main concern is pushing yourself too hard. If you go in before you're really recovered enough to do so, you could then need more time off to recover--and you'll have just blown your PTO. If you had FMLA coverage in place it could save you and your employer some stress and scrambling to cover should you need to unexpectedly be out for another extended period. Also, some companies require you to use your accumulated PTO concurrently with FMLA and some don't. If your company doesn't then you could potentially save some of your paid time for the future rather than blowing through all of it at once and ending up back working before you're really recovered.

You're correct.  HIPAA only applies to health care providers.  Many people in the US mistakenly think it means no one is allowed to give out any medical information about you, but that's not true.  It just covers what your Health care providers can divulge.

ugh i just imagine this woman calling down here and asking my coworker how i am.  its stupid, but i dread it.  i work with a terrible person who is shallow and just all around awful.  we share A LOT of the same friends outside of work and i really just dont want people in my business.

i didnt know if my insurance tells my job i had surgery and if so... what kind.

id love 2 weeks to nap and just work through it, but my boss needs me to answer phones and things.  if i am out, nobody is here.

this woman has been here 30+ years and i know she cant keep her mouth shut.

and working with this girl - i find myself with a huge issue that this isnt all just going to be chatting at work, but my whole life.  i dont want people knowing.

you seem like a real peach :)

thank you 

The only thing I have to say regarding secrecy is that if you tell your story, YOU have control over what you say, rather than a bunch of ninnies twisting it around with fallacy and fancy. People WILL talk to a certain extent. The less of a big deal you make, the less fun it will be for them.

I don't know if you are old enough to remember when Madonna's SEX book came out. Instead of playing coy, she basically said, "Yeah, this is me. So what?" It took the wind right out of folks' sails. She was matter of fact, so there really wasn't anywhere for them to go.

Then Starr Jones had surgery and lied about it. When her lie was exposed, she lost all credibility.

You don't have to tell everyone, but be aware that people will ask how you are losing weight, and if you lie, it will come out.

I also think you are making this more stressful than it has to be for yourself.

i get myself all worked up about this because i work with someone who i share a lot of mutual friends with outside of work. i dont want them knowing - no real reason, but i dont. nobody knows that im bothered by my weight. i dont let anyone know that this annoys me. ive never even mentioned my weight to my boyfriend or sister until this past week. my boyfriend said to do what i want and my sister said she has can see that it could be something good for me. 

i work in a place where this woman who used to work here had gotten the surgery and people still talk about it.  it was before i even worked here - ive never met this woman, but people have told me her life story.  

this isnt something i want. 

id rather tell people that i am just eating better. 

im ready for it, but im surrounded by d-bags that i dont want in my business 

As Rosy says.  The trouble with keeping it secret is you have to lie! And personally I hate doing that! And if you are "found out", people are understandably annoyed to have been lied to!

But you can minimise the number of people who know. I only told those I felt needed to know, a very small number. But if asked directly if I had had surgery, I was honest. If I was just asked hiow I was losing weight, I was partly honest and just said I had cut all my portion sizes.

But after a few years, somehow it stopped mattering. After all, I am slim. No- one asks me now why I am slim!  But somehow now I am more comfortable in saying I have had surgery. 

Hi,

I am an HR person and we are not told what kind of surgery a person is having. Besides if I even tell another person that an employee is having surgery (regardless of which) I can be terminated and the company can be sued.

I am having mine in December and I also do not want people to know but I'm not going to risk my health by returning earlier just to appease them. This is going to be a hard road and I don't care what others think about where I'm going, doing, done or will do. They will all be jealous of you anyway soon and may treat you differently because you'll be knock dead gorgeous!

I am just going to say I'm having surgery and it's a private matter. enough said.

jr