People are rude

Sounds more like sarcasm than kindness.

Nikki, I read your posting history.  It seems you have had some very difficult struggles.  I'm sorry to hear that you've gained back a significant portion of your weight, all the way back to 300 pounds.  But from what I read, you haven't been a very compliant patient.  Alcohol, chips, cake, soup, refusing to take supplements - do you think your choices contributed to your weight gain?  Could it be time for you to listen to people who have had similar experiences, and found a way to lose and keep off the weight, like LadyTazz?

Rudeness on the internet is completely subjective.  I find that those who are most upset by direct and honest criticism should look within themselves and ask why comments affect them so deeply?  Is it because there's a ring of truth to what others are saying?

A third revision won't cure what causes you to gain back your weight.  It sounds like you have some serious mental issues to wrangle, particularly the recent diagnosis of bipolar disorder. From what I've read, you claim to be low income so I'm wondering if that's what's holding you back from seeking therapy.  All the surgeries in the world won't cure what ails you, I'm afraid.  Your story is one that I will use to motivate me to avoid the pitfalls that you've encountered.  You're an example of what can go terribly wrong, and that's very helpful to those of us who are still in weight loss mode. 

 

I think sometimes support has to be brutally honest. Our friends and family will most likely not always tell us the truth for fear of causing friction.  

Many vets here have a ton of wisdom to give.  I've always thought having thicker skin helps a person, otherwise, my feelings would often be hurt! 

Much of it is down to interpretation. I find it annoying when someone a few weeks post-op appears judgemental. I don't feel aggrieved when a long time Wls patient shares her own very difficult experience and tells us what she has learned. At almost 9 years post- op, I still have lots to learn from people like Ladytazz.

But I read every post with an awareness that the written word on a message board does not always convey emotions and so, as a PP says, I give people the benefit of the doubt. 

I may be only a few weeks out but I know when someone is rude- especially when I recieve 3 pm's about how the woman is always nasty. That doesn't make me judgmental. Most people who are actively on this board are relatively newly post op. We don't know everything, but neither do those years post op. 

Interpretation! I really cannot see what I said to make you cross with me! So let's just accept thatm I didn't mean anything rude and I will assume you didn't mean to sound aggressive! 

Ha!  Not at all meant aggressively!  

A post-op person may not know as much as a surgeon, but undoubtedly more than a pre-op.

If the only people on the board were those shortly out of surgery, there would be exactly zero productive advice to read.

My Gram told me once that when my Mom was young that she told Gram.."Mom, Connie is trying to act big!" That was referring to my Mom's sister. So, of course some people are straight forward and then you have those who are just plain rude. I can't really say what I think they are lol

There is an important distinction to be made: someone posting facts and information that you don't like isn't being rude.  It's being honest.  And that is the very definition of being supportive.  Perhaps what upset the OP isn't the poster -- but her own insecurities?

To the OP, I wish you the very best, but if you had a problem with another poster (especially one with so much experience who took a lot of time to give you a very thoughtful response) then you should address it with that person rather than calling them out publicly to make yourself feel better.  Notice that long-timers are keeping it real while newbies (with very little experience) are hand-patting you.