overly supportive mom?

I have pretty much not talked about having surgery with my mom because she still treats me like im a child and it gets on my nerves so I really dont tell her much about my life she knows I am having surgery she knows what it entails she knows that after I cant eat solid food for awhile she knows the basics but at first she says are you sure you can handle this....yes I am I am 25 and am more than capable of doing this. so now I have a surgery date and she tells me I wanna take u out to eat at your favorite place before u cant have it again......I dont want a "last meal" I just want to have surgery. then last night a family friend was over and asked if we had plans for thanksgiving and she said no I wasnt going to make dinner because carla will be 8 days out of surgery and cant eat that. so then the friend says well we are going out to eat if you guys would like to join us my mom says maybe I will carla cant she will be on liquid food.....yeah and I also might wanna spend time with people in my life who cares if i dont eat what everyone else does I dont like turkey ham or potatoes anyway......so tonight she says to my friend who lives with us maybe we should all just have turkey flavored protein shakes lol...........I just want her to stop talking about it I am ok with my choice and she thinks she is being helpful and I dont know how to tell her shes not...

any ideas?

Ummm, tell her she's not being helpful?

It's good to have boundaries - draw a line and let her know where it is ...   It doesn't have to be an argument - just a conversation where you tell her what you are willing to listen to and what you aren't - what upsets you, what makes you happy etc

If you don't tell her she won't know and my favourite quote?  "You teach people how to treat you" (Dr Phil)!   Time to pull up your 25 year old big girl knickers and let momma know you are a grown up and while you love her and would love her support, if necessary you will do it without her help and love!

2nd what Citizen Kim said. If you want to go out for Thanksgiving with your family friends then let them know. You don't have to clear it with your mother.

(My parents are the same way which is why I live thousands of miles away from them. No matter how old I am - at their house I'm treated like I'm 12. It's crazy making.)

Have a talk with her, set your boundaries, & when she oversteps remind her. Keep to your plan & focus on doing everything you need to do in prep for your surgery & beyond. Good luck!

Sounds to me like you should be talking to her. It doesn't seem like she's treating you like a child but treating you like her child, if that makes sense. I wish my mom made those gestures. How can you expect your mom to know what you don't tell her? I feel this is an over reaction and youre being sensitive, which is fine because I was the same way, but your mom loves you, educate her and let her help you. This is definitely something you will need support with. Good luck

Talk to her. Like two adults talking to each other. 

I had to have a conversation with my mom last time I saw her since she was bragging on me to everyone - while I was there!! So awkward and embarrassing. When we went for a walk that evening (omg, I love going for walks now!!) I started by saying, "mom, I know you're super proud of me but...." and we came to the agreement that she can brag on me all she wants as long as I'm not there :P

We'll see how this works when I'm visiting next week!  

But the point is - talk to your mom as an adult. Set boundaries. Be patient, but firm, with her if it takes her time to adjust to those boundaries. 

First of all, assure her that you will be able to eat ALL foods again once you have this surgery.  Maybe not right in the beginning but by this time next year you will happily be eating whatever you want...just not as much of it.  

As for telling your mom that what she's doing is not being helpful, man up for goodness sake!!  You said it:  you're 25 years old, if you can't explain to your mom in a mature, adult way that what she is doing is making things harder and not easier then you're going to have bigger problems post-op when it becomes super important to be assertive about what you want and need.  

TY everyone for the bits of advice =) It is not that I cant talk to my mom its just that I feel bad because I know she is trying to be helpful and I dont want to upset her by telling her shes not but I guess perhaps I need too. 

As long as you are calm and respectful when you tell her she's not being helpful she'll probably be glad to know. Be specific. Tell her what would be more helpful instead. Difficult conversations are part of being an adult. If you want to be treated like an adult you have to have them.

I would chose going out on Thanksgiving and not eating over having it at home and it being a day long affair you can't get away from. I went to a wedding 10 days after surgery. I ordered water with a splash of cranberry to make it pink, and had them put orange slices and lemon and limes in it. SO many people said, What is that?- it looks so refreshing. Ummm...Water...LOL I took a few tiny bites of some soft food during the ****tail hour and had my dinner wrapped. I just explained I just had surgery and couldn't eat. (Didn't say what kind). I  wanted to be there, so I made it work. But I did give myself license to leave if I needed to. I left when they rolled out the dessert buffet, but I was there for most of it. You can make Thanksgiving work as well.  Good Luck with your Mom...