Dating after WLS

Hey all! 

So I've been pretty curious....after WLS have you seen guys looking at you more or trying to hit on you more? I've never really had a bf or anything and I feel like it most likely is due to being overweight. So I was just curious. 

Also so has your confidence gone up? With relationships...how soon do you tell the other person that you've gone through WLS?

Cant wait to hear everyone's responses 

Guys on the street notice/noticed me a lot more after I lost weight. Even men that didn't act flirty or hit on me in any way were suddenly more accommodating and polite and nice... I noticed men holding open doors all the time for me, smiling at me, saying hello. It made me mad in a way because people in general treated me better after I lost weight. You also have to be careful of more men just wanting to have sex with you.

I was an open book about my surgery. I brought it up on the first date.

I was single when I had surgery. About 80 pounds into my weight loss I met my current husband. He loved me then. He loved me at my smallest. He loves me with some regain. He kinda loves me no matter what.

Well I'm pre op and I always have men hold doors,smile and be overly nice! I get hit on even when I look a mess I hate attention! But I never got it when big girls act like because their big their not beautiful! anywho I'm certainly sure because of my size I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I find myself saying "if I get this much attention now, I can only imagine what it's going to be like when I'm smaller" So I'm sure lots more people are going to be paying attention to the new you especially if your attractive hate to sound all superficial but it's the truth!

I am in the same boat.  Have had lots of men flirt with me and I've been big all my life.  (May be a cultural thing ).  

I'm sure the caliber of men who are attracted to me will change though.

My confidence has definitely gone up, but I haven't been "hit on" at all in the 7 years since my surgery. I do find that some men are more likely to hold a door for me, though (but many did that out of courtesy even when I was huge).

Lora

Confidence goes a long way.  When the lbs drop the confidence rises and people notice. I will agree with the other post abou****ching out for the guys who just want to hook up (unless thats what you want) versus someone who wants to date you long term. 

I havent started dating yet, but the subject of me having WLS will be one of the first things i tell them. 

They arent the type of guys you want! Guys who wouldn't look at you before surgery are only after one thing if they only start looking at you after surgery! I just saw your picture and you should be turning EVERY guys head now! You are very beautiful! You just got to be confident! And for how soon to tell people, thats up to you, wait until you are completely comfortable. I was an open book, i told anyone who asked how i lossed weight. I am not ashamed what so ever that i had weight loss surgery! Some people say its cheating. Well if thats the case, then i am now a super happy healthy cheater!!!! I did the surgery to get healthy! Its not a quick fix, its a tool! And just look any other tool, if you want the tool to work, you got to work it! So tell people as you begin to feel comfortable, but like i said you have NOTHING to be ashamed about, your doing this to get healthy and live a better life!

I usually run into men who will open doors for me, smile or be nice and "gentlemanly".  But, even though I know being so large is a definite downer, I also know that if I show my confidence, it reflects to others and men appreciate that. 

Notice I said "MEN appreciate it"  A real man isn't afraid to acknowledge confidence regardless of size.  You many not be their cup of tea but they see it.  A REAL man will be a gentleman no matter your look. 

Now a "guy"...is going to want to hook up with a skinnier version, absolutely, unless he is attracted to big women.  When you lose the weight, you will undoubtedly turn many heads but you have to have a strong moral code to avoid the boys in men's bodies. Cuz, face it, many of the really good looking guys will show up but what they want from you may not be good for you.

I am 58, blonde and blue eyed and turn heads on younger guys...until I get out of the car and they see my size.  At 360, I am not attractive to them.  Nor am I to many men.  But that's ok.  If they want nothing to do with me now, I will want nothing to do with them next spring. 

I was married for 15 years, divorced 4 years ago and basically sat in my house alone, (just didn't have the confidence to put myself out there****il 6 months after WLS 1 year ago. So once I'd taken off a chunk of weight, felt pretty good about me, so I took the plunge and went online.  I do recommend that you get close to your final size before you really get serious about dating post op. Rapid weight loss can cause relationship turmoil in SOLID relationships and you don't need to add a ton of stress while you're still trying to work out the "new you".  Been online or 6 months or so and though I haven't found someone "special", I no longer want for a social life! I've found Mr. Liar, Mr. Douchebag, Mr. Victim and Mr. ChipOnHisShoulder and Mr. LivesWithHisMamma along with a handful of nice men that I just haven't clicked with or they with me. It's all part of the process.  I try not to take any of it too seriously until I've known a guy for a while.  I even found one who had VSG 2 years ago! But he was not that into me. That one kinda made me sad for about 5 minutes! But no worries, there were another 10 behind him! Confidence?  Absolutely! I got CAT CALLS from a sports call full of rowdy boys on my way into the mall a couple of months ago!  I'm 48 years old!  I don't worry much about rejection as I know there are LOTS of possibilities out there! Have I been hurt? Once since I started this process, yep. But I'd rather get kicked in the gut occasionally than live a lifetime of "nothing special" and I learned a lot about what I want in a man from him for which I will always be grateful!  How soon do I tell? Sometimes if we chat a long while before we meet I tell them up front. Sometimes on the first date, sometimes I wait till the second, (if we get that far). I don't hide the fact I've had WLS from anyone, never have.  So last night's first "date" was "meh", but I have a new one tonight! Wish me luck!  You'll always miss 100 of the shots you don't take!