Not telling people about surgery MEANS YOU'RE NOT READY!

That's RIDICULOUS!!! You don't have to share anything with anyone! No one is entitled to your private & personal health information.

I only told my best friend at work and my boss about my surgery. I manage a team of 11 and they know I had surgery but not for what. It is none of their business! Most didn't ask any questions. The few who did I politely told I'd rather not discuss it. Obviously, I went through with my surgery and I was "ready" in every sense. 

I am sure there will be talk & gossip. If someone directly asks me if I had weight loss surgery I'd like to think I'll be honest about it but I didn't want anyone to ask any intrusive questions or bring any negativity into the situation. 

Do what you are comfortable with. Also, with regard to your boss/HR person remind her that there are HIPPA laws which protect your personal health information and she is not to discuss your information with others as it would be a violation.

Man what a horrible thing to say in a support group. If the nurse said something like that to me i would have been discouraged from going back. I have only told my close family and friends and I fee good about that decision. I totally understand the blabber mouth boss too.

I do feel a little discouraged from going back. But I will in the hopes that this subject comes up again. I feel armed with some good comebacks thanks to all of you! :)

Of course this nurse is way out of line, but I can't get past the fact that your boss is an HR manager who "gossips" about information that s/he is privy to for their job. This is incredibly unethical and maybe illegal. You have the right to expect confidentiality with your private HR records. 

I am in the same boat. I have shared with my closest of friends my hubby and one of my children ( the rest are to young to understand). However people like my mom and the majority of my family and people at work will not know until some time after.  I am not ashamed of what I am doing, but because they have always torn the idea apart and criticized anyone who had the surgery done.  They believe no matter how many times I had attempted to release this weight that ultimately if I had better control and will power I could do it on my own. They also believe every surgery is an auto fail on the person. I was told I would gain weight back no matter what and it would make me look horrible. I have seen them criticize their own siblings, coworkers and friends for failing and choosing the cheap way out.  Their perspective I believe has encouraged all those people to fail ( many have stalled fairly early) and I do not need that.

I am choosing this because after all my other failed attempts and I do try, I realized I cannot do this on my own. I know if I do not do this I wont see my babies grow up and get married, I wont meet my grandchildren, Ultimately I will lose this battle if I do not go this route and I am not willing to give up my life to make them feel they are right in their opinions. I am not ashamed, I am also however not stupid enough to tell people who will make it their purpose to bring me down .  I am doing this for me, my family and ultimately my health. The rest I say screw em...their opinions matter not. Be yourself and believe in yourself. You deserve that!!! We will make this journey together! Good luck!

Brandi, I say "release weight" too! I've never heard anyone else say that (except my group of friends who practice HR/RR).

i wish you the best on this journey also!

I'm so sorry you have such negativity in your life.  

Statistically, only around 5% of people who lose weight through non-surgical means are able to keep it off.  We all know how much higher those success numbers are with surgery.  This is not the "cheap way out," this is the proven most effective way out.  Like the rest of us, you've chosen a drastic, life-changing surgery because it is what will give you the best chance at a healthy future.

I am saddened that people can be so clueless and negative.  I believe that you will be fabulously successful.  When these rude people come to you later and ask about your wonderful success, I hope you feel free to tell them that it is absolutely none of their damned business.

Lol! Thanks Holli!

Hmmmm sounds to me like miss blabber mouth needs to be blabbed on!!! How unprofessional. How do people such as this keep their positions!? You need to rat her out. She definitely needs to be reported to someone. I disagree COMPLETELY with her comment!!! And in my opinion, sounds like she's just a nosey busybody with no life! Makes no sense at all to tell someone they aren't ready to have surgery if they aren't ready to share it with strangers!!! What a dumb comment! What you are embarking on is a personal journey, which some desire to keep private. There are some who feel the need or desire to share with others (and some, unfortunately, feel as if they have no choice but to tell others). Both choices are fine. When I had my wls, I knew from the start that I would NOT be sharing it with many people and ESPECIALLY ANY of my coworkers! I work at an elementary school, and the particular staff I work with are very judgmental, cruel and catty, always looking for "juicy" gossip and/or spreading some around. I work in a VERY toxic environment. I was 100% ready for my surgery, but I sure wasn't gonna share it with any of those vicious people! That was back in 2005, and none of them know til this day, and if I decide to have revision surgery, I will stick to my original decision of not telling anyone there, because I still work with the same people, and they have not changed for the better. In fact, after all these years, they are actually worse. So sad. I wish you the best, and hope that your desire to keep your personal and private business to yourself is honored.

Wow I'm so angry and upset for you!!! That's bs and way over crossing the line!!! This is your journey and NO ONE should tell you how you should choose to experience it.... it's your choice... and for anyone in your office or family or friends or on this forum to tell you how to do it is wrong!!! I not for 1 second was I embarrassed .. but I choose not to say anything till about 1 month ago ..that was my choice and for me it was the perfect choice...I had the sleeve done not DS but I can tell you I was out of work for only 10 days ... I was a bit tired after that but everyone is different ... not very many people I know needed 4 weeks just saying unless there was an issue ... so best of luck to you and I'll keep you in my prays and thoughts !!! :-)

♡ Kelly