Not telling people about surgery MEANS YOU'RE NOT READY!

Cleaver, she definitely knew because the whole reason this topic came up was because I was apprehensive about submitting std info due to the confidentiality issue. I wish I could make some excuse I can come up with is that she took that opportunity to discuss the topic an play psychologist and paint everyone with the same brush. She need not quit her day job! Lol

lmbo @ your hubby! Men are so much diff than women! They don't seem to care at all!

The fact that your HR person, the one person most responsible for seeing that workplace relationships are respectful and your privacy is protected is the one who most concerns you is horribly ironic. Why is the fox watching the hen house? Simply put , you are right and she/they are wrong. End of story.

I think MANY WLS patients have problems with caring what others think and that won't change overnight .  Before anything even happens you need to flat out remind her that her job and the federal government prohibit her disclosing your personal medical info.  If she does it anyway, get proof, go to her boss , and have her fired!  Your rights are your rights  screw everybody else 😝 You will be so full of post op confidence you can do anything!!!!

Yes I would tell anyone who is interested in my health, and yes I have had 2 abortions.I wouldn't use that word , I use the term I have had two pregnancy terminations...

Wow, well I guess that is the difference between you and I.  To each his own...

How in the world would it be useful to tell your co-workers that you had an abortion?!?  

I'm not sure what kind of work you do, but in the office type settings that have worked in for 30+ years there are personal and professional boundaries and it would be considered over sharing (and might limit your career opportunities/advancement).

For a minute there I thought I was crazy!  I'm thinking, "Wow!  People are sharing the fact that they had an abortion????"  That is an extremely personal thing to talk about.  More so than WLS!

OK, that nurse needs to go jump off the nearest building....F*ck her and her judgmental opinions!

It really ****** me off that people assume because you want a little privacy surrounding your medical information that it means you're not physically or emotionally ready to have the surgery.  I only told my boss about the surgery and the HR Director because I knew she'd find out - and I made certain to tell her of my privacy concerns and that I didn't want to find out that ANYBODY in her department leaked the information.   She knew I was serious because I was the HIPAA Privacy Officer at that company.  And although it wouldn't be a HIPAA violation necessarily, it definitely is a violation of employee privacy to talk about the specific reason a person is out for disability or FML.  

I would have a serious heart-to-heart with your HR person and remind her of your expectations for absolute confidentiality.  You have legal recourse to sue her and your company if she doesn't keep this information absolutely confidential.  

Well  had surgery in 2006 and only told immediate family. Absolute rubbish to say that that meant I was "not ready" for surgery! I just happen to like my privacy and that includes the fact I have had surgery. 

The HR lady is breaking the law if she breaks confidentially. That is a concern that you should take up with higher management.

But if the biggest concern you have is whether or not people find out, then in my humble opinion, you may not truly be ready. This surgery is major and wonderful and traumatic and difficult and life-altering and all kinds of other things. People will talk about you having it. People will comment on how you look - constantly - regardless of whether or not you tell. People will look to you as a source of inspiration, counsel and advice. People will be jealous. People will treat you differently than they did before the surgery. People who were mean to you will suddenly be nice. People who were nice will suddenly be mean. People will say how much you've changed. You will want to punch them because you haven't changed but how you look has. Men will smile and linger and talk to you. Women will feel intimidated. It's a lot. I'm a 5 year post-op. I lost 240 pounds initially and am dealing with a 60 pound regain over the years for a lot of these reasons. People knowing about my surgery hasn't really been an issue. People treating me differently because of how I look has been.

I'm thinking this is the same line of thought as the nurse facilitator. She missed my point.  Of course, people will know eventually. They can assume and guess all they want. The point is...I want to choose how and when I tell people. Simple as that.

Obviously I plan to release tons of weight and of course people will notice. That has nothing to do with the tool I chose to accompli****