Not telling people about surgery MEANS YOU'RE NOT READY!

Hi - I had Gastric Bypass January 2009.  Not everyone knows about my decision to have surgery, as I feel that it was my personal choice to have the surgery and my personal choice to whom I share/shared with my decision.  I was completely ready for surgery and completely comfortable with my decision to limit those who knew / know. To this day, not everyone knows but if I feel like I want to share with folks, I do so.

I understand that everyone has their own opinion but I disagree with the nurse.

Best of luck in your decision - but there is no reason why you need to take out an ad to prove that you are ready for this journey (okay, being a bit sarcastic, but you know what I mean).

Good luck!!

Joy

I did not tell anyone I was having surgery 8 years ago because I didn't want the negativity from others going into surgery. I know that was a good decision for me.  I took off from work for 6 weeks but I planned for it all year.  Why would you go for short term disability.  Just take vacation days if you have enough. It's not their business and if your boss mentions your health issue to others she can be held responsible for sharing personal information and lose her job.  Don't allow anyone to force you into doing something you don;t want to do.  I suggest dont tell coworkers just certain family members.  Only my husband and mom and 2 of my closest friends knew I was having surgery.  I told my pastors a couple of days before my surgery.  Yes they were hurt, but that was my choice.  Be bless.

Your employer is notified that you have submitted a Disability claim. However, your detailed claim information is confidential and will not be shared with your employer.  And in regards to the nurse i bet you she was skinny and has no idea how going through this surgery process feels emotionally. I will be having surgery next month and have decided to keep it all to myself only me and my husband know whats going on :)

I'm still pre-op, but my thought process is this is a personal decision for surgery so it is no-one's business but my own.  There are people that tell everyone every time they have a hang nail and others who don't even mention when they're going thru chemo.    My husband, my children, and my boss (only because we're close) know - everyone else, regardless if I know they'll be supportive, don't know.  I personally don't feel the need to share every detail about myself with people, I'm extremely private.  Family or not. It is your decision.  Period.  No one has the right to tell you otherwise. 

I recently has this discussion in group and our lady was saying that we have to know what type of person we are. If we are private, then that is fine. She said that we may have additional support in those people, also they may not bring tons of holiday treats and food rewards to the office. There is no shame in telling or not telling. Don't mean you are read or not ready in any way. I personally did not want to tell people when I had first made the decision. For some reason this past week I have talked about it to new family members. It has also given me a chance to explain a little about it so that I don't get negative feedback. Family, friends, co-workers... no one has to understand. It is about you and your comfort level. Growing the ability to say F-It! Who cares what they know & think!

~Office gossip is unacceptable and I wouldn't tell in that situation. It's your hot body! Do what you want! 

I tell everyone lol  I really dont care who knows tho biggest thing I hear is ooohh your not even that big hahah really? Come one man you can loose the rest on your own...Im like listen my mind is made up I got my date for my surg so kick rocks!  Good Luck to you!

I am 4 weeks post op. I work in a pre-dominanatly male driven environment.  I decided to tell my boss and my direct employee that I would be needing to step in for me when I was away.  My weight loss journey is my personal business. In fact, I didn't even tell my parents before surgery. I told my children with whom I live with and a couple of friends.  I think its each persons prerogative to share what they want - on their own timeframe. Since my surgery I have chosen to tell a few more people - some from work - some not - but only because I want to.  I only took 1 week off work and therefore I just told people I was going on a vacation - or as I call it a 'staycation' taking time for myself - I felt like that wasn't a far stretch from the truth.

As for that blabbermouth - I would make myself VERY clear to her that if she violates your right to privacy - HIPPA laws - that you will take the matter further. I knew when I told my boss that not only would he not share my information - he couldn't if he wanted to because I told him in a professional capacity.

Lastly, for the leader of the group - like you said, sometimes we just disagree.  Just because that is her opinion - or even others in your group, there are plenty of people out there (including me) that agree with you, its for you to tell who you want and when. I believe its a personal decision.  Good Luck, fell free to add me if you need an extra 'phat friend' (lol)