You know what day it is! B*TCHFest Day!

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B*TCHFest"  is provided as a public service to those of us who have gripes and grievances but whom, for whatever reason, lack a regular forum in which to air them. You are welcome to voice any problems - large or small, important, mundane or ridiculous -  that currently have your panties wadded, your shorts frosted and your gears ground. Don't hold them in and risk future medical issues, wrinkles and/or those pesky gray hairs.

ANY and ALL issues that are plaguing you are open for you to voice; there are no "scared cows." They say that "feelings aren't facts", so if you're feeling it, it's legit to you. NO ONE is allowed to flame a poster for something he or she writes. However commiseration is not only welcomed but encouraged. Please, no personal attacks against other OH members (at least, not by name.)

You old timers know how this works. For newbies, here's the deal. Just gimme a list of the things that are troubling you, that have you snorting into your coffee, that have your panties in a wad. It's cheaper than therapy, healthier than eating your feelings, and nicer than kicking the dog.

No one gets to flame anyone else: YOUR feelings are YOUR feelings. Let's begin.It's simple. It's cleansing! It's easy peasy. A piece o'cake. Ready? Go!

WARNING! Adult content ahead! Posts may (and probably will) contain "adult" content and language. I know that MINE will. Rated TV-MA.

- OMFG, if you can't pay attention to the road, GET OFF IT! I would prefer not to die in a ball of fire because you can't check your messages BEFORE or AFTER driving. CT has had a hands-free cellphone law for NINE years and they still don't do a damned thing about it. 

- If you're driving and don't know where you're going - fine. But PULL THE **** OVER and stop wasting my time! In fact, pull over, check directions and check your text messages while you're at the side of the road. TWO problems solved.

- There are some things I know a LOT about. Things I know for a FACT. If I tell you something, LISTEN TO ME. If you don't, do something else and then say, "Oh, you were right" - you're a putz. For example, if I tell you that a computer is down, don't spend ten minutes futzing around with it (and you know nothing about computers) and then tell me, "Oh, the computer's down." That's time in BOTH our lives that we don't get back! If you say that the TV's not working, I'll try everything I already know to try and figure out the problem. Then I'll go online and try to find the answer(s) and tell you the results. Those are the RESULTS. Don't turn around two weeks later when you and 4 other people who nothing about TVs reach the exact same conclusion I told you two weeks ago.

- I swear to god, if I see ONE more person losing their **** on OH because they're at a plateau or because they haven't lost "enough" weight in 2 months, I am going to explode. If you're one of them, I apologize. But for god's sake, RELAX for a freaking minute, will ya??

That's it. I'm done. (drops the mike)

That's it...I can't top that one today.  Just an addition...semi truck drivers....get off the damn cell phone when you're already going over your speed limit on the freeways!  If you're not speeding...get off the phone anyway!

OMG....thank you, thank you, thank you for the last one about posts on stalls/plateaus.  I can't even read those anymore because it makes me LOSE. MY. MIND!

OMG for all that is holy how many freaking times do I have to say No! I don't want to change my electric service! Yeah real slick banging on my door saying gas & electric service, like I'm falling for that, over & over I'm saying no, I'm not interested, on & on his sales pitch goes till finally I close, make that slam the door in his face. They keep coming over n over, I need a really slick sign to tell them no, knowing them they'll still ignore it.

Why oh why is it such a problem for the post office, ups to ring my bell whenever they have a delivery for me? It's really hit or miss whenever they ring my bell. The one good thing about working a rotating shift is that I can be home during the day so they can give it to me rather than my super, for which I'm very glad that he does pick up my packages. Do they think it's a great joy to go to the P.O and stand on line for a package I was home for?, oh yeah don't stand in this line (after I stood in it for the longest time), go to this other unmarked line & wait again for your package.

So now I'm debating on whether or not to get up at an unearthly hour to get my exercise in at the gym so I can be home to get my package tomorrow and play the game again or just say f--k it & sleep late like I really want to. Yeesh! 

Seeing food ads (especially carb loaded) on OH..... I mean really??

If you are not a doctor, do NOT give medical advice or specific instructions on what to do in regards to someone's health. OH or offline! There's a good reason why it takes so long to go through med school and get fully certified; one person's individual experiences are NOT enough to make specific recommendations on vitamins, food/water intake, medications, etc. I don't care how much you've read on the Internet, the only person you should get specific advice from is your personal medical team.

Express Scripps guy: I spent 50 minutes on the phone with your organization. I had to repeat information several times. I spelled out both drugs and offered you the J codes. I even gave you the NDC code, yet you couldn't find Mozobil and you barely found Neupogen. When you FINALLY came back on the line, you admitted you had been spelling it wrong, despite the fact I spelled it for you about five times. Why can't you LISTEN? I said the reason I asked for you, a supervisor, is because I was frustrated that the representative was asking me to repeat information multiple times. Here's a trick: write **** down. It's what I do when I talk to people.

People on Facebook: a whole bunch of you are about to get deleted, because you've revealed yourselves to be stupid, intolerant ******** who take FOX News as the gospel (pun intended) truth. This includes family members, so don't think that makes you exempt. In fact, you are the biggest offenders.

Loud Howard (borrowing SparkleKitty's term): shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup. I really don't care about anything you say, and I try to tune you out but you just won't SHUTUP. Also, how have you been here twice as long as me and know half as much?

And this is kind of an existential, crabby old ***** generalization, but here goes: Since when did it become necessary that we all be superlative in every ******g thing we do? It's not enough to have a nice house; it has to be a fantastic, House Beautiful-worthy house. Cars have to be the newest and best and only a certain make and model. It's not okay to be merely attractive; now we all have to be awesomely gorgeous. We have to be aces in every category except brains-then we can be dumb as ******g boxes of hair. Exhibit A: The Kardashians. Let's not know a damn thing but how to get a tv show.

Heaven forfend we know anything meaningful or have ever bothered to crack a book beyond the latest Fifty Shades of Puce saga as long as we are current on what popular culture is pushing. I like to think of it as the 'Modern Family Syndrome' (my apologies to anyone who likes that show, but I think it's a perfect example here).  Let's just all be stupid and pretty and not bother learning anything. Bah! *shakes cane*

ETA: And people who expect free plastic surgery after weight loss. Would I like a breast lift? Yes I would. But I don't expect my insurance to pay for it. It's cosmetic, so I will save the money and pay for it myself. And the pukes who start gofundme accounts and ask me to pay for it? Are your freaking kidding? You've done exactly what and I'm supposed to pony up for your plastics? Ha.

*shakes cane*  I choked a little laughing at that.

My brother and sister-in-law have Fox News playing 24/7. I want to scream.

I can't even bear to LOOK at Fox News. I would imagine that better, more intelligent reporting would come out of an actual FOX. They're all about as smart as fox with his head caught in a jar.

I've deleted all the nuts on Facebook that listen to Fox News.  They really got on my last nerve.  They posted some stupid **** and poof bye bye they went.