How do I break this habit?

The others have given excellent advise and I just want to toss out a couple of thoughts:

1. Please don't count on surgery to make these huge changes that you need to deal with. Surgery only changes your tummy not your brain, the majority of the work is mental and it will be the hardest. Stick with your therapist and keep working the head aspect. Being thinner may help your self esteem but it won't change how you see things unless you change your mental thought process.

2.Something I didn't really learn until I was an adult was this little saying "You don't have to like it, you just have to do it!" It wasn't until I was a mom myself that I realized there was only me to deal with what ever problem I had. If my baby daughter needed something it was up to me, whether I wanted to do it or not. I didn't have to like it, I just had to do it. I raised her that way so she would know earlier than I did that we don't have to like doing things, some things just have to be done, like taking your dishes to the kitchen. If you don't take them to the kitchen you don't get to eat the next meal.

You have survived in life so far by playing the game of avoidence, now it's time with your therapist's help to face those things and learn a new way of dealing with them that allows you to gain self confidence and control over your own life as a young adult. Best of luck to you!!

Definitely try for that internship!, it would be great if it was a paid one, but unpaid ones might be what you have to settle for, but you gain experience!, that's something you need & what employers look for, can any of the volunteer work at the cat & dog clinic be added to your resume? Skills like time management, working under pressure, etc, maybe it can help you land a job?

Keep up the work with the therapist & I think having your own set of dishes & using just that will motivate you to keep them clean. Good luck in getting a job & your own place. I know when I was younger I couldn't wait to get out. I didn't even have my own room, I had to share it with my grandmother & when I got a job I had to pay rent! It was only a hundred dollars but at that time it seemed like a lot & I told my father but I don't even have my own room! He said hey you live here, you gotta chip in. A valuable lesson learned. Best of luck to you!

Get paper plates and plastic silverware and clean up after yourself when you are done. Very simple fix.

I am doing better with this already. I've been more in control, and I feel better than I did when writing about this.

Kudos to you for dealing with this and being in therapy! Being an adult still living with your parents is always difficult. I think parents and children, no matter how old, tend to fall into those roles rather than being 2 adults in the house. You need to be respectful of others when you live with anybody and it sounds like you have gotten a lot of good suggestions... paper plates, buying your own set... My question is, why are you eating alone in your room so much? Do you eat with your parents? Eating in the kitchen and paying attention to your food might be something you want to practice before surgery. Good Luck!

Why are you eating in your room? Are you hiding the fact that you are eating? Eating there so your mother does not know how much you are eating? I think you should eat in the kitchen. Eating does not take that long. And like the others have said, get a job. any job and start living. If you really want to get out of your mother's house make a plan and stick to it.

I read the initial post and only a few responses.....for one thing I would NOT recommend paper plates or getting your own set of dishes. Those can very well pile up just the same as your mother's dishes and that doesn't stop you from being lazy. What I would recommend is you stop being lazy and selfish. If you can walk to the kitchen to get a glass, plate, bowl, cup, fork, spoon, mug, jug, whatever....then you can walk back to put it in the sink and clean it to your mom's/hygienic satisfaction. I don't agree with her calling you stupid, nor do I agree with her allowing you to eat in the room that she allows you stay in while living there. (If you were in my home you wouldn't have a room since you can't keep it SANITARY.) What you are doing is nasty and unhealthy. Do you realize you are allowing mold and bacteria to build up in addition to chancing your mother's home being INFESTED with rodents, ants, roaches, maggots, and who knows what else. The infestation would be in one place....YOUR ROOM. Who would pay for extermination other than your mother? You want to move out into your own place but sweetheart you can't even maintain a small personal space so what makes you think you can maintain an apartment. There is nothing cute, adult-like, lady-like, responsible-like about sitting/living in filth. Your mother already lets you get away with not doing the dishes because clearly you don't wash them well. Then taking into consideration when someone else in the home needs a dish there aren't any in the cabinets or drawers because you have them piled up in your room, that is being selfish. Your mom purchased those items for the household, not to sit on a floor or under a bed for days at a time so yes I can definitely see her frustration. You mentioned that you're tired of the yelling and judgement but clearly you aren't because you still do the same thing. I wouldn't call you stupid but I would LOSE it if someone lived in my home....the nice home that I've created for EVERYONE to reap the benefits of and enjoy and then there is one person that is mistreating things that I spend hard earned money on. I don't care if it were free it is still something that should be appreciated and not abused. When I first started reading this post I thought you were going to say you sometimes leave dishes in the sink overnight. I totally didn't see this coming. As far as you saying you don't want to be called stupid over something you can't control.....ummmmm you can't control because what!?!?!? I am only reading this and I am upset so imagine how your mother feels. Especially when she knows she didn't raise you like that. Not making up your bed is one thing but piled up dishes with food residue...come on now. Imagine not washing your body for the amount of days you leave those dishes unwashed.