Moms not supportive. At. All.

The world is full of people who feel exactly the way your mom does. Most are too polite to say it to our faces, but are thinking that we are fat, lazy people who took the easy way out. I don’t waste my time caring about what they think or say.

If someone says that I took the easy way out, I heartedly agree. It was a lot easier than being on diets and exercise programs that never worked long term. The best way to win this battle is to have your surgery, follow your program and then let her see your success.

You know that the diet and exercise programs do not work without surgery. You have an opportunity to do something that does work. Make it one of your goals to astound her with your success.

I'm sorry that your Mom is being unsupportive/hurtful, but glad to hear that you have other support systems in place. 

I'm sure in time, your Mom will see that this was the right choice. After all, being morbidly obese with co-morbidities...there's a good chance you'd live a short life. Unfortunately, there still seems to be a lot of mis-information out there that surgery is the "easy way out", which to ANYONE that's done any research at all, they would see that it's certainly not! I'd give her a couple of days, and try talking to her again. Try to educate her on the surgery, how your life will be post-op, and just how surgery will change your life for the better.

She's scared for you, and that won't change, but I hope she comes around, and in time will become a support for you. *hugs*

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with negative and hurtful comments from someone that I'm sure despite the comments you love. I understand how that feels !! I have some family members and a close friend that said similar things. I am just starting this process myself and have told very few people but even those people are not being supportive so I get it but I like yourself have a fabulous hubby who is behind me 100% and my kids are 100% supportive too so it makes up for it. I have being doing research upon research upon more research and I don't see anything EASY about what we are choosing to do. It's major surgery with a long recovery period it takes weeks for our tiny new tummy's to heal and with that comes strict eating guidelines for our own safety. Plus a liquid diet for days to weeks before surgery depending on your surgeon, How in gods name can that be considered EASY !! We still have to deal with emotional eating issues as well so it's very important to get help and support now so you don't turn to food in times of stress later down the road. REALLY !! as if starving yourself is an easier way either or a healthier way. I agree with the previous comments your priority is you and getting yourself healthy again and it's going to be a full time job just concentrating on drinking enough and getting enough protein, you will not need to deal with negativity post-op just delegate let your hubby handle it for awhile :-). I'm sure in the end her tune will change when she sees how much healthier and happier you are but if not it's still all about you !! Good-Luck you will do great, keep us updated on how your doing !! Congratulations, I'm sure the girls are warming your spot in the losers bench :-)

I am sorry that your mom is not supportive of your decision to have WLS. She obviously does not realize what a hard decision it is to make. Keep your positive support system close around you. This is not an easy road to walk, but the results are so worth it. 

You didn't mention what your co-morbidities are but I can tell you most of mine sleep apnea, high blood pressure and severe arthritic pain constantly have resolved. It is such a freeing feeling.

Good luck in your decision. 

I'm sorry that your mom is unsupportive.  In good news, you don't -need- her support to rock this.  Of course, it would certainly be nice to have, eh?  

I had an issue with my parents in the past, thankfully not for surgery but something pretty important, where my parents opted to be non-supportive.  I sat down with them and told them, "Hey, you don't need to agree with my choices, but you need to respect the fact that they're mine to make.  And you can either do that, or you can lose me from your lives.  That's your choice, mine has already been made."  It would have sucked had my parents chosen to continue to be jerks, but, thankfully, they didn't.  This was about 17 years ago and we've never had another issue.  

Focus on the people who are supportive and don't waste your energy on people who aren't.  

What it boils down to is you've made the decision to have the surgery.  It would be great if your Mom supported you.....but you will be successful with or without her support.

We've got your back.  Keep coming here!  

Damn, your mom said some pretty harsh things.  I would tell her that I'm not interested in talking about my choice with her anymore and if she can't stay off the topic then the conversation is over.  At this point in my life, my capacity to put up with anyone's bull**** is really low.

As of this morning my mother texted me as if nothing happened... I'm a little guarded to say the least. I've decided if she brings up my surgery I won't be talking to her about it. 

Thank you all soooo much for the support I really needed to hear your feedback you're all 100% right. I'm going to focus on the positive and let the results speak for themselves. 

I will keep y'all posted. It almost feels like she has multiple personalities at times...

I'm sure once you have the surgery and your mother sees how much healthier and happier you are, she'll come around.  And the question remains, does she love you less because you're choosing a better life for yourself but doing it in a way that some view as non-traditional?

Mom is scared and obviously doesn't have very good coping skills (or darned good manipulating ones).  Bravo to you for standing your ground in a respectful way.  You got that chore done, now dust off your britches and get down to business.  Your day is only a week away!  Mom will come around, or she won't...so it's a good thing you're not doing this for her.  Just keep your questions and complaints to the understanding eyes out here, and throw a victory or two her way to see if she's wiling to celebrate with you.  If not, we will.