Support is ......

Being honest without being nasty.  That  means telling the truth, not just patting people gently and saying that eating steak at a week post-op won't have done any harm and doesn't matter. It might have done harm and it does matter. Saying you were stupid would be nasty. Saying you were wrong to do it is support. Extreme example, but I have genuinely seen this and lesser examples are equally dangerous/ misguided. Saying it is absolutely fine when it is not fine is NOT support. 

Giving advice which might be unpalatable.    Telling someone that guessing portions, having regular alcohol (large amounts) etc are good reasons for lack of weight loss is support; warning people that they may be on a slippery slope is not nasty. Saying they are idiots would be nasty. 

Reacting to past threads is supportive. If readers know a poster has been asking for help for months but keeps coming back, it might look to a new reader as if replies are unsupportive, check out posting history before assuming this. Support is taking past issues into consideration. 

Referring posters to the professionals.  This is being supportive, not passing the buck. If someone says "I am seeing my doctor tomorrow but has this happened to anyone else?" that is a sensible question. But to post (and I promise people this does happen) to say "I can't even swallow my own saliva/I am vomiting constantly/I am bringing up blood, what should I do?" requires no answer other than sympathy and " see your doctor". 

Telling people to use the search function is support. It is not a brush off. If there are lots of threads on a topic, the reader can read hundreds of replies rather than the maybe half a dozen on their own thread. Newer posters may genuinely not be aware of how to search this site.

Some people reading this may think I am simply re-hashing an old controversy, trying to get attention. Some may think I am being rude/unsupportive/unhelpful. But that's the internet! You can't see me, hear me, you don't  know me. So all you can do is give me the benefit of the doubt and read the content not the phraseology. And, of course, if you do think all those things, you have the option to block me. I hope you don't because as a vet of well over 8 years, I have a lot of experience to share as do many of those vets who sometimes get criticised for not sugar-coating unpalatable things. So even if I personally really get up your nose (do you say that in the US?), I may someday be the one who can offer you that bit of help you need!

Well said....

Finally, a well thought out perspective!

I have never heard the phrase "getting up your nose".  LOL  It's funny

Lol!  But you knew what I meant! And I bet we laugh louder at your fanny packs!!!!!! Especially with bananas in them! Joys of a not-shared language!!! 

 Ha!!  I laugh at them too, think they look so funny!  And yes, I got your banana thing too.  :)

It's not the way they look. It's that in English English a fanny is a vagina! 

" Some may think I am being rude/unsupportive/unhelpful. "

Anyone who knows Kate for more than a minute knows that this is the LAST thing she ever is.

Gee thanks, Bette,  but I am regularly told I am for saying "see your doctor" or "here's how to search".  Got a really abusive PM not long ago telling me I was a disgrace and if that was all the advice I could give, I should stop posting! Only she said it a bit more rudely than that!