By request: Your B*tchFest, M'lady!

HERE ARE THE RULES: "B*TCHFest"  is provided as a public service to those of us who have gripes and grievances but whom, for whatever reason, lack a regular forum in which to air them. You are welcome to voice any problems - large or small, important, mundane or ridiculous -  that currently have your panties wadded, your shorts frosted and your gears ground. Don't hold them in and risk future medical issues, wrinkles and/or those pesky gray hairs.

ANY and ALL issues that are plaguing you are open for you to voice; there are no "sacred cows." They say that "feelings aren't facts", so if you're feeling it, it's legit to you. NO ONE is allowed to flame a poster for something he or she writes, however commiseration is not only welcomed but encouraged. Please, no personal attacks against other OH members (at least, not by name) and please - NO SURGERY WARS!

I'll start you off with one of mine, and you all can join in at any time! No limits - come back as many times as you like!

WARNING! Adult content ahead! 

- Sigh. People at work. If you take the last copy of something, PRINT ANOTHER BUNCH. If you put the toilet seat up, boys, put it back down. And I swear to god that if ONE MORE person in the world pees on a ******g toilet seat without WIPING IT OFF, I am gonna lose my ******g mind!!  If you're one of those "hoverers" you have a pathological fear of touching your ass skin to a toilet seat, fine. But wipe off that goddamned seat. Why should *I* have to clean up YOUR urine? It's disgusting.

- Ends never meeting. Ends never even coming close. Every time I think we'll have an okay week, some other ****storm hits and all the $ disappears.

- People who do stupid **** then act surprised and want everyone to feel sorry for them. "Fire challenge"?! What a great way to thin the herd.

- Ugh. Everything else. I am suffering from a massive, massive case of ennui, and I see no end in sight.

Okay, your turn.

-When someone who had the lapband (nothing against it, but it's way different than VSG) tries to tell me what dumping is or what vitamin deficiencies I WILL have from my surgery!

-when people in the grocery store leave their cart in the middle of the damn aisle to walk five feet away to get an item! The freaking aisles are not made for two carts that way!!! Move your cart with you or move it to the freaking side!! 

-when you see someone is walking fast in a hurry beside you and you move out of the way or tell them to go first out the door and you don't even get a thank you!

-parents who make their GROWN children feel guilty for moving out of state for a job! Omg, I miss you too, but why guilt?!!!

WHEW! Rant over.

-When a week goes by and the scale only moves a half a pound and it's only been 4 WEEKS SINCE SURGERY!

-People who drive the speed limit or under in the left lane on the highway and don't get over no matter how many cars are lined up behind them.  Hello!!!! It's called the FAST LANE! Speed up or get out of the way!

-When the man in the house uses the last of something and puts the empty carton/bottle/box/jar BACK in the fridge! Or how about when the dishwasher needs to be changed and the sink is full of dishes so the man in the house puts his dirty dishes IN THE MICROWAVE!

Coworker: If you ask me a question and I tell you what I think, why spend 10 minutes second-guessing me? If you think I have my head up my ass and my mind in neutral, just don't ask me. It won't bother me-really.

People everywhere: If you do not understand the correct use of whom, that's okay; but for the love of Lynne Truss, don't misuse it. The same goes for the misuse of myself, semicolons, and commas.

People who text and drive: Cut it out!

This isn't a rant, but I love that someone out there loves the correct use if "whom" (and Lynne Truss) as much as I do!

She cracks me up.

I  you for referencing Lynne Truss.  She is my hero.

I love her idea of being punctuation vigilantes. I definitely want a black magic marker and a loudhailer with which to correct egregious usage

If you haven't read, "Talk to the Hand", you should. It's fabulous, too!

I really liked it!