You guys...

I need help. Im so super upset with myself. I had RNY in 2012....I was doing really well. Between pre and post op lost 180 lbs. in the last year...Ive gained almost all of it back. My mom was my biggest supporter...she got sick last July and died in November. I was heartbroken. Still am. I dont know what to do. My surgeon left very suddenly. I got a letter saying, basically, Im leaving the practice. Dont call unless you want your records. No referral...no explanation. Nothing.

I'm so sorry for your loss~but do you think your mother would want you to lose all the progress you'd made?  

Sometimes we just have to be adults and take responsibility for our actions.  Your mom didn't make you eat the wrong foods or stop exercising, so now you know what you need to do.

Your surgeon isn't responsible for you, either.  He did his job when he did the surgery.  If you need help, go to Weigh****chers, or find a support group (either online like sparkepeople.com or any nearby community group) and restart your journey.  I know this sounds harsh, but it's said with concern and empathy for your situation.

Step one:  find a support group.  There is one here on this site specifically called backontrack--check the forums menu at the top of the page.

Step two:  Journal EVERYTHING you eat. All too often we tend to "forget" what we've eaten.  Be honest with yourself.

Step three:  restart your exercise.  Even if it's only for 10 minutes at a time, just do it.

Good luck.  I know you can do it.

I am so sorry for your loss KelKel.  A lot of people when faced with stress and great sadness turn to food for comfort.  If this were me, I would look into counseling as I am also an emotional eater.  I find that having someone listen and ask questions (with no judgement) is helpful in finding out why we do this and how we can stop this horrible abuse to ourselves.  As stated in the last comment, food journaling is also great.  It keeps us accountable to what we are really doing.  Along with writing down your food when you eat it, write down your emotions too.  I bet you will see a pattern.  You can do this!!  Don't give up just because your surgeon left.  Find a new one.   If you ever need someone to talk to (free of charge) we are all here for you.

When my father died, it was the most poignant time in my life.  Truthfully, there were times when it took everything I had inside to even get up in the morning.  I am also an emotional eater and quickly turned to it for comfort.  I would often justify my eating by telling myself, "I deserve it."  My father was my biggest supporter in life -- there was literally nothing that my father wouldn't do for me.  If only he could have held my mouth shut!

I don't know if you have children, but I do.  I will tell you that, as a mother, the last thing I would ever want for my son is to be unhealthy.  I know my father loved me with that same depth and wanted me to be as healthy as possible, too.  Indeed, I came to the realization that part of really loving people in our lives is doing our very best to as healthy as possible so that we are here as long as we are able.  

I began working on my emotional connection to food by seeing a counselor who specializes in eating disorders, compulsive behaviors and addiction.  I had to become very honest about what I was eating and why.  At first, I kept a food journal and wrote my feelings next to what I ate.  A pattern emerged.  Secondly, I became active in my support group through my surgeon.  Sometimes this felt like a waste (it still does at times) because so many there were NOT following plan.  However, I started paying attention to what people were doing right vs. wrong.  I use it to learn effective coping devices, to keep myself in check and to learn as much as possible.  

I guess what I am telling you is this: I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.  Only someone who has lost a parent that they are very close to can understand how horrendous it is.  Hugs to you.  Second, you honor your mother's love by taking care of yourself.  You also show love to those who are still here by taking the best care of yourself possible.  Third, it sounds like you need some external support to help get you back on track.  Finally, you can do this.  Don't give up. 

 

Wow! Beautifully said!

I am so sorry for your loss (and regain).  I have found a proven, workable (and free) method of arresting my disease of compulsive overeating using the 12-step program of Overeaters Anonymous.  I also went back to my WLS support group meetings.  The reason(s) for the weight gain are not important.  What is important is finding what works for you so that you can once again use the wonderful tool you were given. 

I am so sorry for your loss, getting support like a therapist or a support group can help you get back on track. A lot of us turn to food during times of emotional stress & it's a habit that is hard to break.

It's too bad that your surgeon didn't give you a referral just in case you run into problems down the road but you'll have to do your own research to find a good dr if you have to. If you haven't been seeing your surgeon recently for anything he might not have felt compelled to refer you to anyone or it could be he doesn't have anyone to refer you to. I'm not making any excuses for him, but you have to take charge of your health, just tell the nxt dr what the situation is. You should get a copy of your records to give the nxt dr b4 this guy disappears off the map completely!