Freaking Out about pending surgery

Scheduled for a RNY 8/11.  I'm freaking out.  Panicked about what I won't be able to eat, no solid food for the first 28 days, pain, surgery itself and possible regret after.  Any advice from those who have had it?

Note: I'm not having this surgery because I WANT to lose weight.  I competitively lift weights and being large makes that easier.  I have lupus and have been having major complications with it due to my weight and that is why it's being advised.  I actually have no desire to get thin.  :(

Not to sound terribly harsh, but if you don't actually have a desire to be thin/healthy then I don't see you actually being very successful with this surgery.  It takes a lot of effort to get your head in the game and not hurt yourself immediately after surgery by overeating/eating what you're not supposed to.

What specifically will the surgery do for your lupus just out of curiosity?  I'm not 100% familiar with everything lupus...are you having problems with major organs?  Will losing the weight stave off, let's say, a heart attack for example?  You have to weigh the pros and cons and understand that you won't be able to lift weights for a long while.  Did you get a psych eval for this surgery?  I can't imagine they'd approve you if this is how you're feeling...

with Lupus and complications from it - VSG - sleeve - would not than be better for you then?  just curious.... 

(I had RNY  - and now I can't take NSAIDS - really miss them -) 

Maybe I'm misunderstanding here. You're making the choice to do competitive weightlifting, and thereby making the choice to stay large (because it's an advantage). Yet being large hurts your health, and you don't want to be smaller. So that's one deliberate and voluntary strike against your health. (No judgement, many of us deliberately did things that kept us from losing weight pre-op.)

The goal of surgery is to lose weight become smaller; I don't believe there are any other advantages (other than weight loss) specific to lupus. The weight loss would presumably make your weightlifting harder. Since weightlifting is apparently more important than managing your condition (again, a leap from what I'm reading here), why go for the surgery at all?

It's your body and your call. If you don't want it, don't do it. If you feel like you're being told to do it against your will, maybe it's time to seek a second medical opinion.

Well, being an adult, you get to make choices in your life,

You can chose to lift weights as a heavy person and risk death from complication due to obesity AND Lupus.

You can lose weight, get healthy and live well, even with Lupus, while lifting weights.

My husband competed on a state level power lifting and he was ANYTHING but heavy. He was muscular and healthy.

YOU and you alone get to chose your path.......it can be long and very difficult if you chose not to be as healthy as possible.

Frankly, I don't see you being successful with such a negative attitude. Surgery is not for everyone, and that is okay. It requires commitment and effort, and those can be hard to sustain even when someone is eager to have surgery and make lifestyle changes.

Why are you having a medical procedure with which you are uncomfortable? You can flatly refuse; no one can force you to have it.

I would like to point out as well that a lot of us who had surgery didn't have a desire for thinness but rather health, and surgery was our last hope of accomplishing that. It sounds as if you have some worries about lifestyle changes as well. You might want to step back and think about this before having surgery. While it is possible for a surgery to be reversed, it is difficult and not many surgeons are skilled enough to do it.

Any weight loss surgery requires commitment. None is an easy option; all require lifestyle changes.

You really don't sound ready for this.  I think you need to step back and really look at what surgery entails. 

You should have a chat with OH member not sure if she is that active on here anymore but... http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/lesleeinglastonbury/ Leslee Gero who is a bodybuilder post weight loss surgery (I believe she was a lapbander) http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/leslee-shed-102-lbs-took-con trol-of-health.html

Though I also think you probably need to have a conversation with a therapist that works with your bariatric surgeon and work through what you are sharing before it's too late... you've got 10 days before your life changes pretty dramatically I'd either put the breaks on that or get calling ;) Best to you in your decision making, soul searching and health in whatever choice you make.

~Michelle "Shelly"

Everyone is different of course. I had RNY 10 days ago... 2 nights in hospital, first night home took Percoset...next day Tylenol and no pain killers since. Biggest complaint is nausea, which has gotten better although it is still there sometimes. Peppermint tic tacs are my friend:) You are either not hungry or even if you are hungry it's not a famished hungry. sat there while my friend ate a crepe today and I had coffee. I was only on total liquids at home for 3 days. Then they added yoghurt, cream soup etc. This week I move to chopped/puree. yay!

You do want to lose weight or you wouldn't be having the surgery. You just don't want to lose it for the same reasons as other people. I was very happy with my life, I always had friends, went out, dressed fashionably etc... I wasn't disgusted with myself or anything. I just realized I wasn't getting any younger and my weight would begin effecting my health. I knew i had diligently tried traditional methods and it wasn't working. You need to own your reasons... and health is a great one.

I lift weights, and I have an autoimmune disease.  I am surprised the doctors will give you the surgery considering you DON'T want to lose weight. Autoimmune disease will NOT be helped a ton by weight loss (some yes) If you take NSAIDS, then RNY is not for you.  I have Myositis, Arthritis, am a cancer survivor and still lift weights. But my myositis did NOT go away, (nor will your Lupus) you may require LESS meds, but depending on what you take (Infusions, Biologics, Methotrexate, Prednisone, etc) the surgery won't be a "cure all". 

Also, as a weight lifter, I can say i FEEL better! Less flares, less meds, less pain and problems....But I am not able to lift the weights I used to. So you need to really think of what you want. I am 50 years old, after awhile you will not be so competitive, but you have to be at a place where YOU want the surgery...Not others. I wanted the surgery because the pain, medical problems began to interfere in all aspects of life. I wanted to live not be in pain and misery.

Talk maybe to a sports psychologist (or any therapist) and see what you want to do.  When I was heavy I was just able to throw my weight around to lift weights and what not...Now, I use a lot less weight and concentrate more on "form and technique"  I had a devastating injury in december (shoulder dislocation and break) and that made me have to stop a lot of gym work and cause muscle atrophy....BUT, my autoimmune disease has been feeling better. I used to be on 18+ medications (when I was obese) now I am only on 4.  If you aren't ready mentally to do this for YOU, it won't work...You'll just "out eat and over eat" your surgery and accomplish nothing. Just my honest opinion.

Best of luck.

Warmly,

Ducky