Want to be more supportive

My wife has just started the process of getting the vertical sleeve and will be going through all the pre-op counseling and Dr. Visits.  What is some advice I could get to make sure I can be as supportive as possible for her in this life changing journey. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Try to learn right along side of her.  Troll these forums and let her know about interesting posts that you see.  Go with her to the doctor visits if you can.  My husband went with me to all the support group meetings pre-op.  And don't be the "food police" if you notice her eating something that isn't necessarily on her pre-op food plan.  

Most importantly, learn enough so you can defend her decision to have WLS to any of your family members or friends who start bashing her.  

No!  Please don't troll the forums. Lurk or trawl. Trolling is bad :P

You've already done a special supportive act by joining OH and making the post you did. 

Be involved by attending doctor appointments, nutrition appointments and support group meetings with her.  Talk with her about any emotions and concerns she has.  The WLS process, especially newly post-op, can be a roller coaster of emotions. 

Don't be the food police. 

After she's progressed to solid foods, check out WLS-friendly recipes that both of you can enjoy.  Check out the Recipe forum.

Together, review (and post) on the VSG forum with other pre and post-op VSG'ers.

When I had my surgery, my husband was the same way as you are in wanting to support me.  He did and it made a big difference to me.  It will for your wife too!

• Learn with her.  Read the articles, ask questions. Go up to the Forums link at the top, and select Vertical Sleeve under Surgery Type.  You'll see what people are asking about, ranting about and raving about.
• Don't be the food police - I love that one!  If she wants a treat, and has eaten the protein portion, then there's very little room in her stomach to go butt-wild, and she won't feel deprived.
• Eat with her.  She can eat the same things in smaller portions, but should limit consumption of the simple carbs like bread, pasta, rice, sugar, etc.  With my family, we added a second veggie to the plate in place of the starch, and they ate the unsavory foods when we went out to eat.  
• COOK - avoid processed foods.  Instead, cook wholesome fresh foods.

As the others say. Go healthy with her. Eat the same foods most of the time, just more! She won't  expect you to deprive yourself so find out how she wants you to handle that. Will she want a tiny bit of the treat herself? Prefer you not to eat it in front of her? Have treats often/rarely/never? 

But in fact, she may not know herself for a few months. But as others say, saying "should you really be eating that, dear?" is a recipe for disaster, maybe divorce. 

If your interested in helping, these are some questions I jotted down to ask the (my) Surgeon I got of this site.

ask the Doc how many sleeves he has done?

what is his leakage rate?

any of his patients die on the table/complications?

what is the success rate of his patients after 4 or 5 years?

what is your post op support plan? do you have  wls support groups?

how long is the typical hospital stay?

how are emergencies handles?

can I see your post op meal plan?

ask what he thinks he can do for your wife as far as can she lose all the weight she wants, or if this is the right surgery for her.

I jotted these down and I am going to ask my surgeon at my next appt. hopefully we will set up the surgery then.  Best of luck to you and your wife, I wish I had someone that was that interested in my surgery.

Love her        just a suggestion good wishes coming your way

About the above post.  Just trying to be helpful, the more I learned about the process the more I felt in control.  There is a lot of information  out there.  You can also go to utube others have, also ask your friends and family someone may know of someone who had the surgery and could relay info.  I found the most info on the OH forums.  You take what you can use for yourself and use it.  Also good recipes on  theworldaccordingtoeggface.blog-spot.com, bariatricfoodie.blogspot.com

Best of luck

THANK YOU for being a supportive spouse!

The posts here pretty much say it all - education, support, encouragement, and LOVE!

Good luck to both of you.

Everyone,

Thank you so much for the advice, questions to ask and the supportive comments. I am so hopeful for my wife because she works so hard to keep our family working that she nevers gets time to take care of herself.

I am in active duty army and over the past 6 years I have deployed for over 36 months, which has been stressful for her with me being in Iraq and Afghanistan, plus during that we also added two additions to our family with our 5 year old and our now 2 year old boys. The amount she has had to do as basically a single parent off and on the last few years has not helped her health or her stress level.

SHe is such an amazing person and will do anything for anyone plus she puts up with me. :) I am now in a place where I just work nine to five and I am not deploying again anytime soon so I am taking up the slack and working to make sure she has the time she needs for her and not just me and the kids.

I know that may be oversharing but I just wanted you all to know a bit more about our situation.

Again thank you all so much.