& supportiveness vent.

Theres days I feel fully supported by my family & my husband. Then there are days I do not. One day my mom seems to be on board with my decision, I know she's worried and she has alot of questions. As I would expect her too. She just changes her mind an awful lot, "get surgery" "don't get surgery." Yesterday, I became quite witty with her. Now, foremost you have to know we at most times have a sarcastic family. When she was asking me what the side effects of surgery could be I told her - I'll be thinner, more confident, I'll be at less risk for high bp, diabetes, and other sorts of health problems - How's that for your side effects?

I know everyone is worried and they have no idea what it's like. I am the odd one out in my family, the only overweight one. I've lost weight before, so they don't understand why I possibly just can't do that again. "you gave up, you can do it if you don't give up again." I hate those negative thoughts. They give me negative thoughts. I've never done anything for myself, and I know I am at my last resort. I just wish I had full support and not ups & downs. The more downs I get the more I think too much about not getting surgery.

So do yourself a huge favor...JUST FOR YOURSELF.  Stop waiting for them or anyone else to approve of the choice you made to have a better life.  I didn't look to see your age but I'd bet you are younger than 45 because if you were older, you would (or should) already be at that point.  :)

As much as we all want our family and friends to support us, the truth is we can only ever depend on ourselves for that.  And nobody's opinion should be more important than your own if t is good for you.

Think back to the other times you lost weight. Was your Mom as doubtful then, too? When I was in my 20's I lost 75 pounds in 6 months with a stringent diet. I weighed 145 pounds at 5'5", which was fine (and my doc said I could lose another 10!) My mother was alternately convinced that I had anorexia and that I'd joined a cult (I was in Overeaters Anonymous). She was upset that I refused her desserts and meals and basically stayed away from my parents because of Mom's food-pushing.

I maintained the loss for about 3 years and she got used to my 'weird' eating patterns, although she admitted on my birthday, when I refused a cake, that SHE was the one who wanted a cake. Not me.

Family will always be the hardest and aren't likely to change much, you just have to make the changes to yourself and let them get used to it. You're doing this for yourself and your better health. I just had the surgery on 6/30 and my conclusion was this: I have diabetes, hypertension and my family has a history of heart problems. If I don't do this I will certainly become sicker and sicker over time and will die of it. If I have the surgery, I might have complications, but will probably live longer and will be healthier during that time. So what's it going to be? Certainly die after a long illness or live a long and healthy life? Not a hard decision after all.

Ignore your family. Talk to your doctor's office and see if they can offer support and pick up some friends online.

Stop talking about it to people who don't understand and research the reality of living with wls, the changes you will have to make forever for you to stay successful.  Food is going no where, it will always be all around, the only thing changing is you, and no one can hold your hand forever, eventually it's all your responibility.  YOU can do this, doesn't matter what anyone says, YOU make this happen.  I totally get where you are coming from, I always did everything for my ex husband and son and not so much for me.  I had to change that to have wls and committ to being successful, and I have been for 9+ years.