New here and confused.

Hi All. This will be my first post as I am new to all of this and very confused. I do apologize if you have seen these type of messages 1000 times before and that I should be posting somewhere else. I appreciate anyone who is willing to take the time to read my story and give me any advice and suggestions.

I am 26 years old I am 5'2 and I weigh 230 pounds with a BMI of 40.6. I have been on every diet possible and live a very active, healthy lifestyle. Ive always wondered why i am unable to lose weight, even though I try so hard. I do bikram yoga 3-4 times a week and also walk on my treadmill. Anyway, the past couple of years have been very rough. I feel like I am suffering from depression and its getting harder to walk. I cant sleep, I have no energy. I could go on and on..

I met with my primary doctor and told him my story and he referred me to Doctor Srivastava in Celebration Florida, she is a bariatric doctor. She told me things i had never though of or heard of before about why I cant lose weight. She asked me if my parents were heavy and I told her that my mother has been 120 pounds her entire life and my dad is a size 32. No one on either side of my family is heavy, I am the only one. She then asked me if my mother gained a lot of weight with me when she was pregnant and i told her that yes, she in fact gained almost 70 pounds. She then told me she pretty much knew what was wrong and asked if anyone ever talked to me about biology and genes. She told me that there are many reasons my mother could have gained weight when she was pregnant with me, but that i took on all those genes and absorbed them into my body when my organs were growing and i was in utero. Anyway, long story short. she told me this is why i struggle. And that she can see that i have been on every diet, and try very hard to lose weight and wanted to put the breaks on this process and recommended me for surgery. She told me that yes, i can diet more and yes she could put me on prescription medications to help me but I will only lose about 5-10 percent of my weight ( which always happens ) and then I will stop losing. She said so, the only way for my body to reset is to get the surgery. She also said if i was to get pregnant now, I would pass this on to my children.

So here I am! I already attended an online seminar and gave my insurance information. I have Cigna. I also am going to a live seminar on weds. I already have meetings with the dietician, psychologist and a sleep test scheduled. I am excited to get this process started but from what I have been reading, I shouldnt get too excited too quick? The doctor told me i could potentially be getting surgery by the end of the year if we get the ball rolling now. What is the likely hood of insurance not covering the procedure? How often do they tell someone that they have to diet for six months before the surgery?

My family is fully supportive of me, aside from my fiance. I think he is afraid of the consequences of the surgery and something happening such as death. He doesnt understand because he is thin. He doesnt understand what its like to wake up everyday and be miserable and not want to get out of bed or not have energy. He doesnt understand what its like to be at risk for so many illnesses. He is able to go shopping and enjoys life. I understand that he fears the procedures but at the same time, this is for me. Has anyone had trouble with their spouse supporting them? He supports me, he just is not excited about this, and thinks its unneccessary.

So these are my questions and concerns. The doctor did not recommend one surgery over the other, but I dont think I want the lap band just because its a foreign object. Im sure we will discuss what surgery is best for my body, but has anyone prefered one over the other? In celebration hospital in florida, they do not do the duodenol switch. How long was everyone out of work and in recovery?

What are the risks with surgery? The only fear I have is death, obviously. Is there always the possibility that your body will reject the surgery? How risky are the procedures? From the research that I have done online it looks like the mortality rate is 1:1000?

What about life after surgery? Can anyone give me an example of what they eat on a daily basis and how much they eat. I always eat healthy already so i dont see this being an issue. My Fiances fears I will not be able to enjoy food any longer.

Any personal stories would also be great. I am trying to do all the research I can so I am not going into this cold turkey. I really would like to be educated 100% before any decisions have been made.

Again, thank you to anyone who is willing to respond and try to understand. This is all very embarassing for me and something that I never thought I would have to think about. I am excited and open to any suggestions and advice.

I never heard the theory about inheriting fat genes because your mother gained a lot of weight. 

Surgery would be your best opportunity to get rid of the weight and get to a healthy weight.  What surgery does is put you on a level playing field with people who are not obese.  Once you lose the excess weight you have to work to keep it off.  That will take diet and exercise for life.

Many people take two weeks off of work.  Everyone is different.  I took one week off, but could have gone back sooner.  I was 59 years old, had other surgery before weight loss surgery and felt good three days later and felt better every day after that.

I had spent my life on unsuccessful diet and exercise programs trying to lose weight.   Eating after surgery was the same as before.  I ate small meals with high protein, exercised and drank a lot of water.  The only difference for me was that this time I was no longer hungry, the diet and exercise worked and the weight all came off. 

Now I weigh myself every morning.  If I see a gain I take steps to correct it immediately.  I eat much smaller amounts than most people. A restaurant meal gives me leftovers for two more meals.  And that is without the bread or starches.  I still do not eat cereals, potatoes, rice, pasta, sugar, ice cream,  or noodles.  I avoid sugars and fats.  I few years back I started eating bread again because I needed the fiber and bulk.  I eat very high fiber whole wheat varieties.  Most people who say they eat healthy are incorporating the foods that I do not eat. 

Giving up the white carbs after surgery is easier when there is little or no hunger. Going back to eating the white carbs again causes cravings for them and is the reason why many people ultimately fail at the surgery.  It takes a change that must be sustained for a lifetime if you want to remain at your ideal weight for a lifetime.

A meal for me could be a small hamburger without the bun, lettuce and tomato and cucumber.  Sometimes I can only finish 1/2  of the hamburger, other days I can eat it all.  If I did no****ch, I could easily go back to eating like others do and I would gain the weight back.

Check out what your insurance requires in order for you to have wls. Call them, I have Cigna & was approved, but my ins is probably different from yours. I was also at a higher weight & had a co-morbidity(diabetes). Most ins will have a waiting period in which you'll have to get tests,etc & be on a medically supervised diet for a few months. I had to wait 4 months although I heard others had to wait 6. Really finding out what your ins requires is what you have to do to start & find out if it's only 1 wls they'll cover cuz if they won't pay for a revision, which some people need, you'll be paying out of pocket, which makes whatever surgery you choose that much more important.

Good luck & don't be embarrassed, you're doing what's best for you, the yo-yo dieting doesn't work & ends up being where you gain weight and then some more on top of it, at least that's how it has been for me. Good luck in your weight loss journey. 

Okay, this is going to be hard to explain.

Your genes are determined at conception, and you did not absorb any genes from your mother while she was carrying you. What you may* have absorbed, which affected how your genes are expressed, are hormones. There's definitely a link between large weight gain during pregnancy and the child's future obesity.

Now, your mother's weight gain during pregnancy, the fact that you're reached a BMI of 40 at age 26, and the fact that while you eat right and are active yet can't seem to lose weight all point to you having a super-efficient metabolism---one that can run your body on far fewer calories than 'average' people need. Then your body stores the extras as fat.

Here's where it gets worse---dieting actually encourages your very thrifty metabolism to get even more thrifty. It's a vicious circle---you diet because you need/want to lose fat, and losing fat makes your body think there's a famine, so it becomes ever more efficient, making it harder and harder to lose fat.

What you need is something that will 'break' your metabolism back to the 'normal' range. The Sleeve is a great procedure for those who lose well with only portion control, and it doesn't sound like you fall into that category. The RNY/gastric bypass does make some small changes in your metabolism, and it does cause you to malabsorb a small per centage of the calories you eat---but only for about 18-24 months. The DS makes a dramatic, permanent change in your metabolism, and causes permanent malabsorption of calories.

I know you say your local hospital doesn't offer the DS, but I still suggest you research it---along with the Sleeve and the RNY---in depth. Do NOT base your choice of procedure on what's most convenient, right now. If you decide that the DS is your best choice, do whatever you have to in order to get the DS. Many, many DSers have to travel in order to get it, but it's far more convenient to do it now than to be looking into a revision a few years from now. (Have you visited the Revision board?)

You can learn more about the DS at www.dsfacts.com, on several FaceBook groups, and at www.bariatricfacts.com.

Good luck!

Hey there! I sent you a private message - would love to chat more :)