Husband and I BOTH 2 Mos. Post Op and VERY Depressed

Hey, there---we see you; big hug.  Now, I don't have anything to say that hasn't been so well said in above posts, only to point out that MOVEMENT is so very important in dealing with depression.  For me, depression is that seemingly inability to move-change-get somewhere mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually--whatever level (sometimes all) --it's like I'm stuck in a terrible place with no chance of change.  Re-read the replies to your post-there are some excellent suggestions to help you move!  Then, be your own best friend, and do it!  We're rooting for you!   OH< yah...  Google in "I Had A Black Dog His Name Was Depression" --it's an animated video found on UTUBE.   ABSOLUTELY the best ...please watch it...says a lot!   Bonnie

I work from home too, and my wife doesn't work. It's summer time and kids are home too. I know what you are going through, but there are great options.

Here are places you can go that will help to lift up your spirits.

1. Go to public library. It's a great place. Fun, you can get internet there, you can get some fresh books, it will change a lot.

2. Drive to a nearby hiking place and hike, enjoy the nature. We live not far from the mountains. Every Saturday we go to a nearby mountain park and have a picnic there. May be you are closer to the beach. Go.

3. If you have faith, go to church on Sundays. Connect with the one who gave you life. Get involved. Take this seriously.

4. Focus on the positive. I have lost some weight and gain it back. But I remember how happy, light and joyful I was after the weight loss. let's focus on the positive. 

Feeling helpless and hopeless are major warning signs about your mental health.  Thoughts about harming yourself are also.  Please call your Dr ASAP.  Call the 800 number listed above in the meantime.  All of the suggestions above can be very helpful but when you are in the middle of this kind of hopelessness it is hard to get past it enough to do anything about it.  Been there.  Sometimes the only way to get past it is through a Dr.

When you are well enough, volunteering is great.  It can help put things in your own life in perspective and help with self esteem.  It can also provide a network for a job search.  Try having dates with your husband.  A picnic in  a park.  Cheese sticks and jerkey on a picnic bench just taste better!

It is not uncommon at all to feel this way as a result of the hormonal changes your body is experiencing now that the rapid weight loss is starting.  What's important is that you talk to your doc about this, because post-op depression is indeed treatable, and quite easily so.  Call today!

Hi apriljoy,

Everyone has given you GREAT advice and suggestions. It sounds like you are overwhelmed and feeling alone.  Does your surgeon offer a support group?  If so, please attend if not find one in your area, we can help with that.  This process is 80 mental and 20% surgical in my own opinion.  If you were being treated for depression talk to your doctor about these issues and adjustment in meds if you are taking them. If not, please contact your surgeon and or PCP and get a recommendation.

Now, for my personal suggestions.  Make a bucket list! This list was my holy grail for all kinds of speed bumps during my weight loss.  Get wild and crazy and make a list of everything you want to do before you die.  Start small and work up. My first item on my bucket list was being able to walk without my left side going numb, to traveling out of the country, hiking, marathon and other wild and crazy stuff. This will give you something to look forward to.

You are lucky you have your husband to go through this with.  Put on some music and dance together, laugh, have fun!

GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!  If you can walk do so, if you can ride a bike do so, if not try finding a Y and do water exercises.  Walk around the mall and make a list of all the stores you are going to be shopping in.  The more you move the better you will feel.  Try and do so around calming, beautiful areas like lakes, trails, parks.

You can also make a list of things you want to do around the house, maybe take one room and clear it out and make room to exercise in there.  Get any unclean foods out of the house. That way when you open the fridge to stress/depress eat you will only have good choices.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing, as you can see everyone cares.

Regards,

Kathy

Not only are there hormonal reasons for depression after WLS, but there really is a mourning period as we adjust to losing our best friend, i.e. food.  How many of us used food for everything but nutrition.  We used it for comfort, entertainment, companionship, celebration, etc.  Therapy is an awesome tool, but free help is available at WLS support groups (hopefully your surgeon's office runs one or can recommend one), as well as the completely free program of Overeaters Anonymous, which deals with food and life issues.  Exercise is the best anti-depressant, so keep moving as well. 

You may need to check you labs/ some mineral- vitamin deficiencies may manifest as depression ( proteins, iron, Vit D, B12, B1, etc) 

If that are good (low normal in those is NOT good for me) then real post op surgery / lifestyle change depression is in. 

I take natural suplement Tryptophan -500 mg every morning and every night ( together with my multi) that seams to helped me more that when I was on RX Lexapro.

I friend of mine takes 5-HTP - supplement (made from tryptophan) . 

Getting outside in the sunshine really helps me also.  

Most of us have a strong affair with food. There is a lot of evidence that eating is also an addiction. Before your surgery, did you spend a lot of time at home eating? I personally love to eat! I also have an addictive personality. A year after surgery, I turned to alcohol. I have been battling my love for both food and alcohol for several years now. If you are having depression, it would be a good time to see a doctor, but a good counselor can help you through this transition if you do not want to take medications. Medications for depression often cause hunger, and other side effects, but if you have severe depression, then you need to talk to a doctor about this. Wanting to die is a symptom of severe depression. Finding new hobbies and developing a strong support system will also help.

Insufficient vitamins and minerals are linked to depression.  Also, getting outside in the sun helps.  Do a little research and some blood tests to see what may be lacking.  

Best wishes!  

Congratulations on you and your husbands weight loss surgery.  Weight will come off and as time goes by you will both be able to move around and do more in your lives.  It is important to remember that FOOD is what kept many feelings from surfacing in us who have had been filling the void of problems or incidents in our lives that we did not want to address.  Year after year the real issues got buried because most of us found that if we stayed sedated with food we hardly every thought of things that hurt or bothered us.  But, now is the time to make yourselves put one foot in front of the other.  Now is the time to fill that void with good healthy habits and fun that you could not do before.  If you have not read about "transfer addiction" NOW is the time to do so.  Remember, our stomach's aren't what they used to be, fatty foods, sugar, alcohol will cause different reactions in us then before because anything that goes in you gets on a FAST TRACK HENCE: Why we have to carefully put things in our body that will give us the biggest bang for out bite!   LOOK, even skinny people get depressed....you are not alone.  But, it is up to you to do something about yours.  I swear to you, get up, make yourself go outside, go for a walk...short walk, whatever walk, breathe, look around at life and think about the things you want to do as you progress on your journey.  I know that YOU know that the cheats were the attempt to bury the depression....it did not work.  So, it is OK, just think of the saying, one day at a time...it works regarding any issue.   If after a gallant attempt to make these new baby steps on your own you can't then of course see your Dr.  But, make the try.  Good luck, you guys can do it!!!!!