Big Mouths!!!!!ahhhh!!!!

Thank you for all the responses. I do feel betrayed. My ex husband forced me to gain weight after I had worked so hard to lose 110 pounds on my own without surgery. He degraded me every day. "I liked you better when you were fat!" He would say. He said he would leave if I didn't gain the weight back. I tried everything to save my marriage. He would visit other women and control me at home. It was hard to leave him. But I am so glad I did!

Now I am happy and changing myself for the better, for me. No one will ever be allowed to make me feel like that again!

That is why I am so mad that someone told him!

Wow. Just---wow. I'm so glad you got yourself out of that awful situation.

But this worries me: "My ex husband forced me to gain weight after I had worked so hard to lose 110 pounds on my own without surgery." (Emphasis mine.)

The "without surgery" concerns me because it makes me wonder if you think, or someone has been telling you, that WLS is "the easy way out," and how you feel about that.

I personally chose WLS in the hope and expectation that it would be the easy way. (*grin*) Turns out it's both easier and harder than traditional dieting. I have always been very open about having had WLS. Since having others seems to be very upsetting for you, perhaps you need to get your head in a different place before surgery, since the cat's already out of the bag.

"Forced" concerns me too. A big factor in WLS is acknowledging that me have to take total responsibility for what we put in our mouths.

I'm not saying this to discourage you from having WLS. I'm just saying that maybe you need some help to let go of this. You'll be much happier if you can.

Maybe no one told, maybe he assumed and you confirmed it by asking him who told you.... I do that to my kids sometimes to get the truth lol (what  It works lol) 

There are no secrets -- if you tell one person, you might as well announce it in the newspaper or facebook, etc.    

But, I must say this comment in your post bothers me:  My ex husband forced me to gain weight after I had worked so hard to lose 110 pounds on my own without surgery.  My SO tried to talk me out of having surgery, and really gave me a hard time.  He's singing a different tune now though.  I told him no matter what he said, I was having surgery.  He would try to entice me with various foods, etc. - but I had my mind made up that I was going to take care of myself first from now on.  Now that you've had surgery, I wish you the strength to stand your ground and take care of yourself.  Since you've divorced, you'll probably do well !!!!

Good luck to you!!  

I'm not sure, but I read somewhere that revealing this kind of medical information might also be a violation of HIPPA.

Only if they are her medical professional or insurane company.  

I have a different perspective. I don't think anyone told.

When we lose like 100 pounds over several months, most people assume we had surgery (this is one reason why I just put it out there - I'd rather everyone talk to me face to face about it, otherwise it will be behind my back). No one will be fooled and think it was just power yoga that took 170lbs off me, they will just think i'm less forthright, so I just put it out there to begin with. 

And I think your ex surmised you had surgery either when he has seen the new smaller you, or talked to someone who has (and again, anyone who has seen a large, unexplained weight loss usually assumes surgery or dire illness). I also think you told him for sure when you asked who told him, and if he's like my ex, he said your mom to get some drama going between the family just to be a dick.

I may be way off, but something similar has gone on with my ex's family, as they are all gossipy drama loving ****stirrers, and my ex has done something ohso close to this. 

So, is there any chance of this, and he is delighting in causing a rift with you and your family members??

Well, I haven't seen him in 2 years. I have lost 80 pounds but only just had surgery three weeks ago. Considering the fact that We live 2600 miles apart. I find it unlikely that he assumed because he saw me. But IDK. He does like to stir the pot and create Drama!