Another family support issue

Some of my family is really supportive of me having my WLS and are willing to be there for me through my journey. However, this is where it stops. My family is not very supportive in the mental food aspect. What I mean by that is that they aren't willing to change the way the eat around me to support my WLS goals. For example, I had a BBQ for the 4th at my house and naturally we bought sodas and things of that nature. When I went in the part of my fridge that I never look in yesterday, what do is but over 3 dozen sodas, ice cream and strawberry shortcake sitting in there. The ice cream and strawberry shortcake are easy because I am not a big sweets eater. I have to have a craving in order for me to even touch it but I'm addicted to caffeine. My family knows what I am doing and yet they insist (and I say this lightheartedly) on tempting me by leaving it in my house and not taking it with them.

I don't keep sodas in my house at all because I know exactly what will happen to them if I do -- all gone in a few days. I typically keep 100% juice (cranberry, orange or grapefruit) and filtered water. I haven't even started my pre-op diet because I am waiting for my approval but I have been trying to prepare myself mentally for the changes I will have to make and have even stopped keeping juices so now I am down to jus****er.

I'm curious though how do you deal with things like this? I know a lot of people have families they have to cook for and things of that nature so how do you handle these situations while not making them feel like they are on a strict nutrition plan too?

I make it clear that any cake, cookies, candy, soda, beer, etc. left in my refrigerator will go in the garbage.  If they don't want it in the garbage, then they take it with them.

I would be very angry if someone threw away food that I bought and put in my refrigerator.  When you share a home with someone, you have to respect their right to have the food they want and to store it in the shared kitchen.

I read the original post that the family didn't live there. You are right, if they are under the same roof, you need to find a way to coexist, but if they are visiting, I'd say it goes in the trash when they leave!

laurie

My family doesn't live with me they just come over very frequently and tend to leave things that they don't want to take with them or my mom will clear out her fridge into mine. I know she does it to make sure I have food and all but it's not usually stuff conducive of eating healthy.

I think part of the process is learning to say no to my temptations. It is a struggle but just because food is there in front of me doesn't mean I have to eat it. I find I have enough trouble changing my own habits much less trying to change the habits of my family.



As WhiteDove says, I have had to learn to throw food away. That is part of my new lifestyle. Good luck.

(I am a fluent signer)

My doctor permitted me to drink chai tea and caffeinated espresso coffee a few days after surgery .  I had esophageal issues too .. lots of overflow acid via a hernia so he had to sew me up REAL tight .  Despite this I have been pain-free in the ( almost five ?)  years since surgery .  I have unfortunately gained some weight back and am thinking of revising to a DS ( now have RNY ) . I'd love to be a skinny hottie again lol :)

I love Chai Tea and always keep a pantry full. It's good to know that I may be able to enjoy some of my bad caffeine habits 

My BF keeps sodas in my fridge all the time. Plus I have at least 50+ varied cans of sodas in my pantry.    He also has in my house candies, chips, chocolate.   I buy that for him also.  I cook for him food I don't eat - potatoes,  rice, pasta, cupcakes, brownies etc..

I HAD The - WLSurgery - he did not.  He is a strong healthy person.  He does not eat a lot - and he has no problem with moderation.

On another hand - we don't keep bread at home - unless it is frozen in garage freezer.  And when we go out to eat - he makes sure the bread basket is far far away from me...(I can't - don't eat it but still wish I could) 

Your house - your rules - if you don't like what is in your frtidge - toss it, or like me - give it away (work place, neighbors, etc.) And if someone ask you later - where is it ? Simply look and say - I drank/ate it and the rest went bad/ flat /tasted funny...and smile...

When I have friends over - I make sure they take leftovers I don't want in a house - I tell them that unless they do - I would toss the food... I did that a couple of times (potatoes, pasta, desserts, etc.). In front of others... I didn't want it - thery didn't want it - trashed it!!!! 

Short term - toss it.  But.....long term learn to deal with it. 

 

 

I think you're reading too much into their behavior here.  In my circle of friends and family, if you bring food to an event that someone else hosts, it is customary to leave behind the leftovers as gratitude of them being the host.  Some will transfer the food out and take their dish home, but the offer is extended to add to another container for the host.  I don't see anything having been done wrong there.  

Now, since you are  pre-op, you're new to all of this.  You need to understand that this is YOUR journey, not theirs.  It is completely selfish and downright rude to expect them to change to suit your lack of self-control, then get all pissy about it.  Perhaps you cannot handle hosting events for a while and that's okay.  When you go to someone else's just bring something that you know that you can eat without a problem, and it's up to you to avoid the rest.  I love the recommendation of announcing that all leftovers left behind will be trashed.  I'll bet someone else may have loved to bring home some of that strawberry shortcake and soda.  They didn't know, so they did the polite thing and left it behind.  

Finally, get rid of the fruit juice.  It might as well be soda, for it's full of sugars, natural and added, and has little or no place in the post-op diet.  As for feeding the family, you can easily cook for them very similarly to how you cook for yourself.  If you are eating high protein and low carb as many of us do, it's not that big of a deal to replace the side of pasta/rice/potatoes with an additional vegetable.  They can eat the other stuff at other venues.  My son's wrestling coach was quite pleased when he found out that's how we ate, for he was trying to get the other boys to do the same.