Reflections and Question

Hi All,

I am so glad I found OH. There is a wealth of knowledge here and I try to poke around at least 5 times a week.

The other day I was walking around town (which I now love, BTW). I was feeling pretty good and then I had this thought. I was angry, angry at myself for letting my weight get so high. I look at before pictures and I say to myself "how could you let yourself look like that?" I know why...I would give myself permission to eat when I had a bad day. It was an reward for making it through the trials and tribulations of daily life. I would eat whatever I wanted and convince myself that this one steak and cheese sub and onion rings can't possible make me gain weight, NOT THIS ONE MEALl!  But, it was ALL of the meals that I rewarded myself with that added up to being MO for over 10 years.

I can try to blame other factors in my life: being on anti-depressants; PCOS with insulin resistance; bad genetics, etc.  But what it all boils down to is my love of food and my love of eating. I know I am a food addict (even if the psychologist at my WC disagrees with that theory). I know I will always have demons that will haunt me everyday for the rest of my life.  I am okay with that! I hear from those demons quite often, actually.

What I am excited about at 6 months post-op is the fact that I can still eat, even eat foods that I like! Just not everyday, all the time, but in occasionaly. I consider myself fortunate that I have never had any problems and have limited intolerance to food. I don't tolerate bread, pasta and rice, but that is okay, I need to stay away from those anyway. I think back to before the surgery and marvel at the volume of food I could eat at one meal...amazing! I don't want to go back there, ever! I love seeing food left on my plate, I get excited about left-overs. When I find myself faced with bad choices, I remind myself that I will survive not eating a cookie, that the world will not come to an end if I get double broccoli instead of a starch. I couldn't have imagined getting double vegetables before? WHAT, no starch?

I am down 81 lbs since RNY surgery and 93 lbs since the start of my program. I am grateful for my tool and I want to make the best of it. But, boy it is hard!

Now, here is my question: I have a large pannus. It is slowly shrinking, but very slowly. If I didn't have it, I would look so so much thinner. I was always embarrassed of my body before, but now since I look a lot thinner, I am embarrassed of my large belly that still hangs down. My arms and legs are quite thin now and my belly looks disproportionately large for the rest of my body. What shape wear would you recommend? I know people love Spanx, Slimpressions and others. Do they really work? Can they really make this belly less noticeable? Can you wear them everyday?

Thank you for reading and for any thoughts you may have.

I think what we need to realize is that obesity is a lifelong battle. Losing weight is merely the start, but the battle rages on. Why do you think they tell recovering drug addicts to stay away from all substances including alcohol, even after they may have completed rehab? Because even though the body may be detoxed, the mind takes years maybe even a lifetime to accept change. Food addiction of any kind is the hardest thing to overcome become you just can't stop eating... you have to deal with food until the day you die. Temptation is all around, especially if you come from a family that expresses their love through food. Every special event and holiday is based on food. So I feel your struggle. But let'e focus on what you have accomplished...A LOT!! You have come a long way in this weight loss journey so you know what it takes to lose weight. You will slip sometimes because that's life. The key is getting back on track. You can do it, I can do it... we all can do it

Hi!  I can't comment about shapewear - I'm not at that point yet - just had surgery in May.

With regard to the pannus - Are you intending to have surgery?  My insurer covers it - but you must be 18 months post-op and have six months of medical documentation re problems - rash/irritation/burning/odor......, so you'd have to see a dermatologist.  Just thought I'd mention it in case you weren't aware.

Congratulations on your weight loss- you're doing great.