relationship advice needed!

Maybe he just hates talking on the phone?

I agree with Kelly there is something very odd about this relationship. A person who is truely in love is going to want to stay in touch, not just go off and be "lost" for days or weeks at a time. I doubt he would change if this is what he thinks is normal.Ultimatum time in my book, he either comes clean about why no calls or he hits the road. Life is too short and precious to waste it on someone who can't make time for a phone call.

Have you talked with him about how not getting phone calls makes you feel?  Have you explained to him that you feel like you're giving more than you get?  

It does sound like you are giving more than you're getting.  And that's a bad thing.  I think you need to sit down together to discuss where your relationship is and where is it going.  10 months is long enough - time for "the talk" IMHO.  Then "decision time".

Good luck to you.

Is it possible he doesn't plan to blend.  Maybe his kids tell the ex about phone calls and it causes trouble.  I see a red flag here and am sorry to say it but be careful.

Out of curiosity, what happens if you call HIM in the evening?  Only you can decide what is a deal breaker and what you can live with.  My gut instinct is saying that you are seeing a red flag here, and if you choose to ignore it, it may come back to bite you in the butt later.  Yes, dating is hard.  Yes, being a single parent while dating takes a special kind of balance.  You are worthy of feeling valued.

Anyone who has been divorced six years isn't really a "divorced" dad. He's a single dad. The statute of limitations has run out on being able you still have issues while "going through" a divorce. He is not making you a priority, and while his kids should be his FIRST priority you should be getting more out of the relationship than you are. Sit down and have a "last chance" talk with him very calmly and rationally. If he says he wont' change, or says he will and then doesn't, you can assume that your relationship will continue as it has been. Then you need to figure out if you can live with that or if you have to break it off. Best of luck.

I don't have any sage advice for you.  I just wanted to emapthize and say "yes, dating is really hard!!"  As someone who is has just really started hardcore dating or looking for someone to date, I know it can really suck at times. 

You seem like an intelligent and intuitive woman.  You know what is best for you and your family.  Trust yourself to make good decisions.  Hang in there and I'm sure someday it will all be worth it - with this guy or with someone else.

I agree with most everyone who's replied. There's something not quite right going on here. There could be several reasons or explanations for his behavior, but he doesn't really seem to be giving you any, which means that his reasons/explanations are probably not very good or flat out hurtful and insulting.

It's possible that he's running damage control by making sure that his kids don't have too much access to his personal life with you and might tell his ex. This could be because his ex is crazy and would create drama. Have you ever met his ex or talked to her? Do you know which partner initially wanted the divorce? Do you know why they divorced? Have you heard both sides of the story? If this is the case, and you do eventually blend your family, she may become unbearable and try to make your life Hell while you're with him. When you date a someone who's divorced with children, you also date their baggage. Sometimes, it can be overcome, but if it's a crazy ex who hates you, you're in for a very long, uncomfortable ride that may not end even after the children are adults.

I know this sounds weird because they're been divorced for a few years, but it could also be because he's not quite over her and doesn't want to jeopardize the relationship they have right now. I know it sounds weird, but a lot of times people who are divorced still have sex and date each other, especially if they remain in regular contact (because of shared custody) and are afraid to date someone new.

I do understand the 8:30pm call schedule. My guess is that it's probably the kids' bedtime and he wants to talk for a bit and say goodnight. It's good that he's involved with his children and wants to make sure they have structure and routine. There are so many men out there who don't bother to do this, so I do want to give him credit where credit is due. Yes, it may be inconvenient sometimes, but keep in mind that there may be things you need to do for your children that could potentially be inconvenient for him and you'll appreciate his understanding when that time comes.

Also, you mentioned he's a mental health professional...but keep in mind that he's still human and having a degree doesn't guarantee that you'll always have your crap together. Even well educated people get overwhelmed and fail to see the obvious. If it took him 10 months to say he loved you, imagine how long it could take him to make some major statements and gestures. He's clearly moving slowly and being cautious.

You should go with your gut on this one. If you've already talked to him about these problems and exhausted every resource trying to figure out the what and why of his behavior, maybe it is time to let this one go. He's obviously a little damaged and you will not be able to fix him. You shouldn't have to beg or demand regular contact and equal consideration, that is kind of a DUH and if he doesn't get it, there's a real problem. If you're feeling like you give more than you get, then you're probably better off finding someone who doesn't require so much coaching and wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him.

Red Flags!  Red Flags!  Red Flags!  If it smells fishy, it's fish.

I believe that you go by people's actions, not their words.  And his actions are not of someone who "loves" you.  He comes to your house for dinner, then leaves within two hours?  Sounds like he's treating you more as the cook than as the love of his life.

I think you deserve better and should move on.