Feeling Frustrated Friday

I need some advise.  My husband and I both are in the beginning stages of the Weight Loss Surgery journey.  We've attended seminars and picked our surgeon, but haven't yet had the first cosnultation so we are very new newbies :) We are both excited and ready for this change.  But, I'm having some issues and would greatly appreciate any insight, suggestions, and support.  Most of the people we are telling are very receptive and supportive. Both of his parents and one of his sisters have had the Sleeve and are doing absolutely fantastic and are exteremly supportive and on board with our decision.  I have a friend who is also the office manager at my work place who had the surgery about 4 months ago. Due to insurance issues (mine will not cover the surgery so I am going ot have to switch to my husband's) I have had to tell her about my decision.  First I guess I need to tell you some of my reasons for surgery.  #1 I am type II diabetic.  Now I realize this surgery may not competely resovle this but it can only help.  #2- I want a baby sooo bad.  I've been told my a few different doctors that I need to get better control of my diabetes and lose weight before I can get pregnant.  I feel these are two HUGE reasons to have the surgery.  When I informed my "friend" of my descion, I immediatly got the impression she was trying to talk me out of it, which totally blew my mind and honestly really hurt my feelings.  I thought someone who has gone through the surgery would be one of my biggest supporters.  But it's almost as if she is upset that she will no longer be the only one in the office "getting skinny"  Her only reason for going through with this was because she didn't want to be big anymore.  Now I realize this is a compeltly valid reason and I do not fault hr in any way for doing this.  I only said tht because most people who have have WLS do so because of one or more underlying medical issues.  She had no underlying issues.  But when I told her about my decision she used my reasons against me.  Saying I needed to really thingk about my decision and make sure I knew what I was doing.  And it seems each time I try and talk to her about it-she's more and more fake in her "support"  I am trying to drop my insurance and enroll on my husband's insurance and soon as possible and it has taken a week and still no answer.  I HATE thinking she is delaying my response so she can delay my procedures.  I'm frustrated because I'm ready to start making appointments and scheduling pre op EVERYTHING but I can't until my insurance is resovled.  I feel like I'm wasting all of this time because she is lagging.  She may not be, but I really don't understand how it can take so long to determine if I can drop my insurance in the middle of a policy period.  I feel so frustrated, so angry, so hurt by one of the people I accepted 100% support and enthusiasm. Am I wrong-what can I do?

Honestly, you DID NOT have to give her your personal reasons for wanting to change insurance.

Typically, you can only change outside the open enrollment period if there is a life event that qualifies.

Youe choice or desire to have WLS is not a qualifying event.

You might have to wait until your enrollment cycle.

As far as divulging personal medical details and expecting her support was not a good idea in this situation.

Personally, I would pull back on the personal side and keep it completely professional with her .... Follow up every few days in email asking "what else do you need from me to move my I insurance change along'.

That way, you will have an audit trail of her responses or lack of responses and can take the appropriate professional steps to go above her, if needed.

I have no advice for you about this relationship/support issue, but I wanted to give you some info about Type II diabetes and WLS.

Losing weight pretty much always help handle diabetes. The RNY/gastric bypass has about an 85% success rate if resolving symptoms, but a significant per centage seem to have it return by the five-year post-op mark. The Duodenal Switch resolves all symptoms in better than 98% of diabetics, and it seems to be permanent.

Just something to think about while you're in the research stage.

The resolution of type 2 diabetes with rny seems to be based on the length of time diabetic prior to wls,2 yrs or less diabetes and resolution lasts much longer, I am going on ten years, I still check my bs sugar several mornings every week, I was 76 this morning, and my a1c has been normal all these years.