How am I going to do this???

If you are that afraid to eat, seeing a counselor might be useful.  Unfortunately, the longer you continue with the shakes and soups, the more you are reinforcing the fear of solid foods.

There is no reason that you must do some kind of "meat".  There as many non-meat sources of protein.  Many people rely heavily on yogurt and various cheeses, refried (or other kinds of) beans, eggs (although some people have trouble with them), quinoa or barley, or tofu.  Many people also find that flaky white fish or tuna goes down easily early out.

Lora

I started with canned chunk meats like tuna or chicken.