Miserable. If I gain the weight back, will this skin go away?

Laura, how can I aad you as a friend?

There used to be a button at the end of posts that allowed this but I do not see it anymore. Strange....

ETA- I figured it out. When you hover over someone's avi, the "Add Friend" button appear. I just added you.

I was just dumped by the man I thought was the love of my life.  I wanted to marry this man!!!  He left me to go back to his ex.  It would be very easy for me to and at times I have had these thoughts...to blame myself...if I was thinner, prettier, firmer.....but in the end it is not MY fault or my body's fault!!!  The right man will love me and and my body with all it's flaws.  The righ man will come along and thank his lucky stars that he found me....screw that other guy!!!!

And I would never change anything about myself just because of HIM!!!

Thanks everyone for your replies... My eyes are swollen but I'm still sober and alive today.  I have two daughters and I need to make them my focus, even if they are living entirely with their dad and I never see them. I still get to talk to them occasionally.  I'm trying my hardest not to contact my ex or his brother. I live vicariously through my facebook posts in his direction. LOL  Today my birthday is over and I don't have to think about it for another year, thank goodness.  Believe it or not, this is the best my depression has ever been. Smh.

Do yourself a big favor and unfriend him.  Or delete your Facebook page.  I've been there and all you are doing it picking at your wound so it won't heal.  The way I had to get over my ex was pretty much the way I dealt with my alcoholism, food addictions and all other addictions.  Total abstinence.  None of this messing around and just one look won't hurt.  Obviously you can see that it does.  Right to your soul.  When I found out my ex was seeing someone right after we broke up I feel apart.  And with the person he was talking with while we were together, the one who was just a friend.  Right.

I was told that I had to go at least 30 days with no contact, no internet stalking, no asking about him or contacting anyone who was friends with him for the sole purpose of finding out what he was doing.  Total and complete abstinence.  I had a sponsor and I was to call her instead of him.  She heard from me a lot but in the end I got over him.  And vowed never to put myself in that position again.  That was 10 years ago and you know what?  I never have.  I protect my emotions now.  I have been with the same guy for at least 7 years.  Actually on and off for nearly 19 but this is the longest we have been "on".  I am very content with our relationship and have no real insecurities or fears about it.  I have also developed a life outside of my relationship, friends and activities that don't involve him.  He is not the center of my universe, just a nice part of my life.  I learned to never give myself away again to someone who didn't value what he was getting.  

I know the pain you are in.  I've been there.  I promise you, it will get better.  I used to tell myself that in a year I would be all over him.  Of course by a year later I had moved far past him but while I was there it hurt like hell.  One of the good things about getting older is you have a lot of past experience to draw on so I knew my life wasn't over and things would get better and they did.  Then I learned from all that experience and refused to put myself in the position to ever get that hurt again and I have done that, too.

I endured much of the same as ladytazz above.  My relationship was 17 years.  Over the years we would have spats and sometimes I went a year or two before I could bring myself to even say hello again.  But 3 years ago, I was done with him.  He no longer existed in my world. He would try and try to come face to face with me so he could flash his smile and win me back.  Not this time...I can walk right past him and stare at anything else but him.  It hurts just a bit but I am so proud for being able to do it and stay with it, even tho our paths cross everyday.  I simply take new paths now.  But it wasn't as simple as it sounds.

I'm sorry you're so discouraged and down right now.  I've been up and down as well and am just accepting it as part of the process.  Was the reason you had surgery because of weight?  For me, the weight loss was a bonus... my main goal was to get off of C-pap and control my blood pressure.  Both of which were achieved within 2 months of surgery.  Unfortunately, other complications/medical issues arised.  I am dealing with those and am still unsure how I feel about the trade off but this was my choice and I researched and took the steps needed to go through with it.  One day at a time is my outlook.  I truly hope you find happiness for yourself that is yours alone.  This journey is yours and you deserve the best for yourself!  Take care! 

Are you seeing a therapist?  

Yes, your skin will go away...in the respect that it will fill with fat again as tho you never had surgery to lose it. At least, from the standpoint of a bandster *****gained it all.

I can understand why you are feeling down about it right now.  And I won't deliberately  rah rah you.  If you get rashes in the creases, document it, photograph it and see if your insurance will pay for some plastics then go for the most you can do.

In the meantime, accept the hugs everyone will be sending your way.